No Go?

[StolenTurtle]

It looks like the second installment of my story "The Trip" isn't very popular. It's barely got a 4.0 rating and I imagine it will dip to the 3.xx mark by the time it's all said and done.

Do you think people are turned off by the rape scene perhaps? It's crucial to the story but I'm getting a lot more low votes than any other story I've ever posted.

Ideas as to why people don't like this one?

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=330923

Thanks!

-StolenTurtle

 

[mjl2010]

It looks like the second installment of my story "The Trip" isn't very popular. It's barely got a 4.0 rating and I imagine it will dip to the 3.xx mark by the time it's all said and done.

Do you think people are turned off by the rape scene perhaps? It's crucial to the story but I'm getting a lot more low votes than any other story I've ever posted.

Ideas as to why people don't like this one?

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=330923

Thanks!

-StolenTurtle

Your writing seems ok. Try to keep in mind that the readers here on this site frequently don't care about the quality of the writing as much as they care about the quality of the sex.

In this chapter, she has a flashback to her rape at the hands of Ellis. Yet the story is posted in interracial love. Folks who like to read that category are not looking for rape scenes. They're looking for romance or sex between people of different races.

I saw you got one comment and it was good. Someone was probably interested in your story and watched for the second chapter, read it and is encouraging you to go on. Get more chapters up and posted.

If you're writing a long story and there's no sex in the beginning, consider posting it in big bites to novels and novellas. I didn't read chapter one, but I'm guessing there was no/little sex in it. Remember, people here are looking for eroticism. You might grab their attention with the first chapter, then it wanes fairly quickly if you don't turn them on.

Keep writing. You show a lot of promise.

MJL

 

[StolenTurtle]

Your writing seems ok. Try to keep in mind that the readers here on this site frequently don't care about the quality of the writing as much as they care about the quality of the sex.

In this chapter, she has a flashback to her rape at the hands of Ellis. Yet the story is posted in interracial love. Folks who like to read that category are not looking for rape scenes. They're looking for romance or sex between people of different races.

I saw you got one comment and it was good. Someone was probably interested in your story and watched for the second chapter, read it and is encouraging you to go on. Get more chapters up and posted.

If you're writing a long story and there's no sex in the beginning, consider posting it in big bites to novels and novellas. I didn't read chapter one, but I'm guessing there was no/little sex in it. Remember, people here are looking for eroticism. You might grab their attention with the first chapter, then it wanes fairly quickly if you don't turn them on.

Keep writing. You show a lot of promise.

MJL

Thanks for taking the time to read my story and giving me the detailed feedback.

That may be the problem. The first story does have sex in it, albeit a dream from the main male character.

What I was trying to do with the second chapter is set up the plot and the character motivation for what will happen in future chapters. I was hoping it was at least enthralling enough to keep folks on the edge of their seats and waiting with bated breath for the next chapter. I was incredibly surprised by the lackluster response. And that's not me being conceited, in my opinion, I thought it was very suspenseful and that people would want to know what happened to Kim and how it would affect her relationship with Brian.

Apparently, I was wrong.

Oh, well. Well, if it's sex they want, the subsequent chapters (all but one) have sex in them.

We'll see how that goes over.

Thanks again for the feedback!

-StolenTurtle

 

[StolenTurtle]

Moved

Your writing seems ok. Try to keep in mind that the readers here on this site frequently don't care about the quality of the writing as much as they care about the quality of the sex.

In this chapter, she has a flashback to her rape at the hands of Ellis. Yet the story is posted in interracial love. Folks who like to read that category are not looking for rape scenes. They're looking for romance or sex between people of different races.

I saw you got one comment and it was good. Someone was probably interested in your story and watched for the second chapter, read it and is encouraging you to go on. Get more chapters up and posted.

If you're writing a long story and there's no sex in the beginning, consider posting it in big bites to novels and novellas. I didn't read chapter one, but I'm guessing there was no/little sex in it. Remember, people here are looking for eroticism. You might grab their attention with the first chapter, then it wanes fairly quickly if you don't turn them on.

Keep writing. You show a lot of promise.

MJL

Also, at your suggestion I changed the categories from "Interracial Love" to "Novels and Novellas".

I agree, that section is a better place for the story than "Interracial Love". Hopefully it will fare better there.

Thanks again for the feedback!

-StolenTurtle

 

[evanslily]

At the risk of being controversial...

I don't think it's the lack of sex that's the problem. You write well, there's no doubt about that. You're good at description, the dialogue's believable--the basics and a whole lot more are there. But Chapter 1 of this was far superior to Chapter 2. For me, at least, Chapter 2 dragged a bit. Nothing much really happened. They went sight seeing, she teased him eating her ice cream and they ate cherry pie. And then she had a flashback.

If anything, this chapter was over-written. There was too much detail about stuff I didn't care much about. I know you were trying to build up your characters, but it didn't quite work, it just slowed the pace a little too much. Maybe the flashback would've worked better as a dream--cliche, I know, but because it was dropped in like that, it dragged me right out of the story. The flashback itself was well written. But the whole piece just didn't hang together as well as Chapter 1.

Just my humble amateur opinion. I'll still be watching out for Chapter 3!

Lily

 

[StolenTurtle]

At the risk of being controversial...

I don't think it's the lack of sex that's the problem. You write well, there's no doubt about that. You're good at description, the dialogue's believable--the basics and a whole lot more are there. But Chapter 1 of this was far superior to Chapter 2. For me, at least, Chapter 2 dragged a bit. Nothing much really happened. They went sight seeing, she teased him eating her ice cream and they ate cherry pie. And then she had a flashback.

If anything, this chapter was over-written. There was too much detail about stuff I didn't care much about. I know you were trying to build up your characters, but it didn't quite work, it just slowed the pace a little too much. Maybe the flashback would've worked better as a dream--cliche, I know, but because it was dropped in like that, it dragged me right out of the story. The flashback itself was well written. But the whole piece just didn't hang together as well as Chapter 1.

Just my humble amateur opinion. I'll still be watching out for Chapter 3!

Lily

Hmmm,

I may not be as well tuned in to what readers want as I thought I was. I, personally, think Chapter two is by far superior. I thought there was much more character development and motivation as things were beginning to come together a bit more. Chapter one, to me, felt rushed. I felt that way about it when I was writing it and when I re-read it. I posted it anyway and figured I'd iron out a lot of the details with subsequent chapters...

Maybe chapter two was kind of boring. I don't know. I guess different things appeal to different people. I'll have to keep tabs on the feedback and see what people tell me. So far, all of the feedback I've gotten re: chapter two was positive, so for some reason those giving lower votes aren't commenting on why they've done so.

Well, one thing I've done is move from the "Interracial Love" category to the "Novels and Novella" category. People in the latter section are expecting more detail along with a little sex action. We'll see if the story finds a more receptive audience there.

Thank you SO much for taking the time to read both chapters. That means so much to me!

-StolenTurtle

 

[evanslily]

Out of interest, how many votes have you received so far? Cos if it's not many, just one person voting 1 will drag the overall score right down. It may be that it doesn't drop below 4. In fact, if anything, it'll probably start creeping up over the next few days.

Yes, I didn't find it as readable as Chapter 1, but it's still a well written piece and the comments you're getting reflect that.

You may just be surprised...

 

[evanslily]

Hey! There's a little red H on it now.

So scrub everything I said. What do I know? LOL.

 

[mjl2010]

Hey! There's a little red H on it now.

So scrub everything I said. What do I know? LOL.

I did leave you a five vote. I almost went for a four, then changed it. So I take full credit for your little red H!

Hee Hee. I couldn't resist. I did vote the five though.

MJL

 

[StolenTurtle]

Out of interest, how many votes have you received so far? Cos if it's not many, just one person voting 1 will drag the overall score right down. It may be that it doesn't drop below 4. In fact, if anything, it'll probably start creeping up over the next few days.

Yes, I didn't find it as readable as Chapter 1, but it's still a well written piece and the comments you're getting reflect that.

You may just be surprised...

As of 2:01 PM Pacific time there are 16 votes with a score of 4.44.

:: shrugs ::

We'll see what happens. Maybe it will be revived by the middle of the week.

Thanks!

-StolenTurtle

 

[mjl2010]

Did you vote for yourself? Go back and change the three to a five. That will help.

Just kidding again. Ain't nuthin rong wit a 4.4 boy. I mean, you're in the top percentage right? 4.4 out of 5? Sounds to me like most of your readers are giving you either a four or a five.

 

[StolenTurtle]

Did you vote for yourself? Go back and change the three to a five. That will help.

Just kidding again. Ain't nuthin rong wit a 4.4 boy. I mean, you're in the top percentage right? 4.4 out of 5? Sounds to me like most of your readers are giving you either a four or a five.

Ahh, that's okay. It' down to a 4.33 now but I'm not really worried about it anymore. I've gotten a lot of feedback from readers that really, really like this story and so I will continue with it in a different category.

Thanks for the 5 vote! You guys are great!

-StolenTurtle

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

A 4.4 vote-score is not bad, Turtle. Don't worry about the votes anyway. They really are pretty meaningless. Between the trolls and the people I've insulted in this forum both my Halloween stories are less than 3.80. Do they deserve that? Probably not. I don't worry about scores and you shouldn't either.

Concentrate on writing the best you can, making your characters real and your plot interesting. That will put you about five steps ahead of the general pack on Lit.

 

[mjl2010]

A 4.4 vote-score is not bad, Turtle. Don't worry about the votes anyway. They really are pretty meaningless.

I agree about not worrying about the votes. But when you're putting up the first couple of stories, those votes mean a hell of a lot to you.

They mean people liked reading what you wrote. Or they mean people didn't. My first story got a decent score. I asked for feedback here and got it. People were fairly honest and I got good advice and constructive criticism. Then some troll commented publicly, voted a one and I felt pretty bad.

I pay more attention to the comments people send me now than I do to the votes. The deadly honesty of people responding to feedback requests in this column can be scary, but it's a lot better than reading feedback from some guy who said, "i love the part about the white panties. Write more with white panties." And I'm wondering, "where the hell did I write about white panties." I finally did find it after reading the whole thing. It was a single sentence near the end.

The point is, the people who read the stories here mostly don't know or care anything about good writing. They want some quick sex for the most part and then move on. On the other hand, the people who read and post in story feedback, do.

Keep writing. I see you've got four stories with 4.5's or better. Out of six that's pretty good and one that doesn't is non-erotic which I'm guessing maybe didn't get enough votes to qualify.

Good luck and keep writing. When do we get to see chapter 3?

MJL

 

[StolenTurtle]

Monday?

I agree about not worrying about the votes. But when you're putting up the first couple of stories, those votes mean a hell of a lot to you.

They mean people liked reading what you wrote. Or they mean people didn't. My first story got a decent score. I asked for feedback here and got it. People were fairly honest and I got good advice and constructive criticism. Then some troll commented publicly, voted a one and I felt pretty bad.

I pay more attention to the comments people send me now than I do to the votes. The deadly honesty of people responding to feedback requests in this column can be scary, but it's a lot better than reading feedback from some guy who said, "i love the part about the white panties. Write more with white panties." And I'm wondering, "where the hell did I write about white panties." I finally did find it after reading the whole thing. It was a single sentence near the end.

The point is, the people who read the stories here mostly don't know or care anything about good writing. They want some quick sex for the most part and then move on. On the other hand, the people who read and post in story feedback, do.

Keep writing. I see you've got four stories with 4.5's or better. Out of six that's pretty good and one that doesn't is non-erotic which I'm guessing maybe didn't get enough votes to qualify.

Good luck and keep writing. When do we get to see chapter 3?

MJL

Chapter three will probably be out Monday. I submit each chapter as the previous one is approved and posted. The turn around is usually about seven days for me.

I'm guessing the eighth of the month will see the next installment.

Thanks!

You guys are great!

-StolenTurtle

 

[StolenTurtle]

Chapter Three

I agree about not worrying about the votes. But when you're putting up the first couple of stories, those votes mean a hell of a lot to you.

They mean people liked reading what you wrote. Or they mean people didn't. My first story got a decent score. I asked for feedback here and got it. People were fairly honest and I got good advice and constructive criticism. Then some troll commented publicly, voted a one and I felt pretty bad.

I pay more attention to the comments people send me now than I do to the votes. The deadly honesty of people responding to feedback requests in this column can be scary, but it's a lot better than reading feedback from some guy who said, "i love the part about the white panties. Write more with white panties." And I'm wondering, "where the hell did I write about white panties." I finally did find it after reading the whole thing. It was a single sentence near the end.

The point is, the people who read the stories here mostly don't know or care anything about good writing. They want some quick sex for the most part and then move on. On the other hand, the people who read and post in story feedback, do.

Keep writing. I see you've got four stories with 4.5's or better. Out of six that's pretty good and one that doesn't is non-erotic which I'm guessing maybe didn't get enough votes to qualify.

Good luck and keep writing. When do we get to see chapter 3?

MJL

Chapter three is finally posted if you're interested...

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=331830

-StolenTurtle