No Gaydar, I need bidar

[T.H. Oughts]

Is there such a thing?

I know I want to spend sensual time with a woman and my husband is very willing to let me spend time alone with a woman or in his company also. I don't dislike the thought of him joining in if I get to spend time with her also....

But!!

When you are"married" to the eyes of the world, how does one go about meeting a woman without putting adverts in a newspaper or going to a gay/bi/lesbian style club?

How can I tell if at a party or social event if there are other bi ladies if the label I have to wear (and maybe them) in public is "married to a man, so I must be hetro".

I do say openly that I think women are sexy in general conversations but no other woman ever says she thinks that way also.

So how can I turn on the bidar when I'm out and about????

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Is there such a thing?

I do say openly that I think women are sexy in general conversations but no other woman ever says she thinks that way also.

So how can I turn on the bidar when I'm out and about????

First of all...yes there is such a thing...I have it!!! (well i got em both but that's neither here nor there!!) The problem as I see it is
not that Your *bidar* isn't working..the problem is You are not sure how to approach some one in a general way when you get that feeling because of your *marriage*.

My questions would be as follows:
1) Are you uncomfortable with the club scene?
2) Why do you not want to try posting an ad?
3) What types of events do You normally go to where it's just YOU???
4) Have you ever thought about letting Your life partner take a chance at setting some thing up for the two of YOU?

Most of my r/l playmates are people i have met in places like the grocery store, my place of employment (Both of them) and (honestly enough) the library during my episodes of trying to maintain a normal (ie hetero) lifesytyle. I have questions that usually let a girl know i am interested as well as certain body language.

I have been involved in plenty of poly-amorous relationships and if the thought of *sharing* your playmate with your hubby is not a bad one ..then engage him in your search. And another thing...Don't Be shy!! If you get that feeling about a certain someone...there are plenty of ways to allude to your interest without coming straight out to them.

I am sure i can give better advice if i knew the answers to my earlier questions but with what i do know...RELAX...and enjoy the scenery. And see about joining some women's only activities. Eventually your *bidar* will lead You right where you wanna be!!!

 

[Bandit58]

Have you considered a personals site?

My male friend went to http://www.nzpersonals.co.nz and found a lovely bi lady for us when we went to Auckland for a night. She's recently been in contact with him again and wants a repeat performance I don't know a lot about the site (he did all the arranging) but it might be worth checking out, good luck

 

[strongnightwind]

Remember too that you must keep your awareness and eyes open when you find another woman attractive. Similarly - like with a man, if there is an attraction, there may be a prolonged gaze in your eyes, a subtle flirtation, or other indicators. Watch for these responses to you when you are meeting someone or talking to someone you find interesting.

And good luck, in my experience it isn't easy to find a bi woman open to being with married couples, and most lesbians I know do not want to get involved in those situations either. But it can and does happen all the time. I don't mean to sound like a party-pooper! I think your best bet may be a first-timer, adventurous single girl, or someone who's had a few female experiences.

BUT what do I really know??????!!!!

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Re: Re: No Gaydar, I need bidar

First of all...yes there is such a thing...I have it!!! (well i got em both but that's neither here nor there!!) The problem as I see it is
not that Your *bidar* isn't working..the problem is You are not sure how to approach some one in a general way when you get that feeling because of your *marriage*.

My questions would be as follows:
1) Are you uncomfortable with the club scene?
2) Why do you not want to try posting an ad?
3) What types of events do You normally go to where it's just YOU???
4) Have you ever thought about letting Your life partner take a chance at setting some thing up for the two of YOU?

Most of my r/l playmates are people i have met in places like the grocery store, my place of employment (Both of them) and (honestly enough) the library during my episodes of trying to maintain a normal (ie hetero) lifesytyle. I have questions that usually let a girl know i am interested as well as certain body language.

I have been involved in plenty of poly-amorous relationships and if the thought of *sharing* your playmate with your hubby is not a bad one ..then engage him in your search. And another thing...Don't Be shy!! If you get that feeling about a certain someone...there are plenty of ways to allude to your interest without coming straight out to them.

I am sure i can give better advice if i knew the answers to my earlier questions but with what i do know...RELAX...and enjoy the scenery. And see about joining some women's only activities. Eventually your *bidar* will lead You right where you wanna be!!!

1) Are you uncomfortable with the club scene?
No, but we/me are not club people really, when you get to the age of 40 you like like you are a parent there chaperoning. lol

2) Why do you not want to try posting an ad?
I have put one it the Lit personals but not many from New Zealand hang out there.

3) What types of events do You normally go to where it's just YOU???
I do a lot of socialising in the Art world. I get around alot to events nationaly.

4) Have you ever thought about letting Your life partner take a chance at setting some thing up for the two of YOU?
He knows that he is welcome to set me up any time.

I have been asked to join the womans business association so maybe their meetings is a starting place for "woman only" events.

Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

Have you considered a personals site?

My male friend went to http://www.nzpersonals.co.nz and found a lovely bi lady for us when we went to Auckland for a night. She's recently been in contact with him again and wants a repeat performance I don't know a lot about the site (he did all the arranging) but it might be worth checking out, good luck

Someone mentioned this site to me the other day, I shall go check it out. Thanks.