Night Before Christmas/Authors Hangout '07

[shereads]

Donate a couplet or two, and take a cookie. (Lots of candy sprinkles. And they're store-bought!)

------


'Twas the night before Christmas and none of the Authors
Were tucked into bed reading Homer and Chaucer.

The men were well-hung and the women were pretty.
The guys had agreed not to use the word "tittie."

(your turn.)

 

[oggbashan]

None of the children were under eighteen
And any that were couldn't be seen;

Some of the relations had never met Lit
If some had, they would have a fit.

They didn't know Og could write things like that:
But they never knew what he hid under his hat.

 

[neonlyte]

Donate a couplet or two, and take a cookie. (Lots of candy sprinkles. And they're store-bought!)

------


'Twas the night before Christmas and none of the Authors
Were tucked into bed reading Homer and Chaucer.

The men were well-hung and the women were pretty.
The guys had agreed not to use the word "tittie."

(your turn.)

Nor foresake a Love whose cup overfloweth
For Gwyneth Paltrow or the other skinny bitcheth's

As Shakespeare did pen it in quill firmly written
I'd rather read Milton than screw Paris Hilton

 

[ABSTRUSE]

The dog ate my cookies and the children were whiney
I looked in my fridge to find something shiny,

Then what to my bloodshot eyes should appear
but hidden way in the back was my last can of beer.

I dove on my knees , hit my head on a shelf
I'd be damned it I left it for that red clad old elf.

I popped open the tab and downed it with glee
then hid the empty remains deep inside of the tree

 

[cantdog]

I ain't no doctor, but I'm losing my patience
There's the same damn songs on all the stations

I wanna kick something, or maybe someone
Gotta wait though, 'til the Season is done

 

[Guest]

The holiday shirts were sewn with due care
And the Santa suit done for the big furry bear

Shortbreads were made, gingers to go
so all of my guests will be sayin' , "Ho, ho!"

After all this' over I'll put in my sights
my big blue comforter, someone please get the lights!

 

[Guest]

There are presents to wrap and the house photo clean,
(I'm not gonna dust if it won't ever be seen)

Pies need to be baked and the ham to be glazed
No wonder this morning I awoke in a daze

But no it's the sickness of strep in our home
Passed from daughter to hubby and now dumped on mom

My to-do list expanding, the blizzard and ice storm
But wait!

Stop the holiday so I can get a throat culture.

Shit.

(I know it doesn't rhyme. Shit again. And everyone I sent a Christmas PM Kiss too? Good thing it's only virtual. )

 

[3113]

In the flash of Thundersnow what should appear,
But a woman in red leather, white fur, and fetish gear,
And many an AH sub, or just willing lady or gent,
Asked her for a yule gift of sweet, sweet torment!

"Come Sarrah! Come Selena!"
She cried,
"And, Fieryjen!
Get-it-on, babygirl!
And step-it-up Crimson Maiden!
Well named, Impressive,
And I've a gift for you, Magica!
Off with the bra, Stakkers,
And pass the handcuff, Mckenna!"

There were Ohhhhs! There were Ahhhs! There was no relent,
And then Mistress Nicholas gave her attention to the gents....

 

[lisa123414]

When out in the AH there arose such a clatter,
I sprung to my feet to see what was the matter
To the computer I made a mad dash
I threw open the laptop, logging in in a flash

Who are all these people I wondered aloud
As earlier foes shook hands and bowed
Political differences for once put out of bounds
A short moment of friendship, goodwill all around

The good cheer reflected in page after page,
The words that I read all kindly and sage
The rudeness all gone if for only one night
Well wishes and kisses for everyone in sight

Peace

 

[shereads]

Then up on the roof I arrived with a platter
Of foolproof pie crust and some kind of batter.

That's when I realized I must have been dreaming;
If I had made pie crust, you'd have all heard me screaming.

 

[TE999]

Then what to my bloodshot eyes did appear
But a dildo shaped sleigh and 8 horny reindeer
And a randy old driver pulling his dick
And I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick

He didn't bring kiddy toys
Not this clever Santy
But velvet cuffs, rubbers and an edible panty
Nipple clamps, silk scarves and flavored lube aplenty

Whips and floggers
Feathers and vibes
Butterflies, chains and scary rope ties.

Sex toys aplenty
Under the tree
Fun for the adults
To make whoopee

And I heard him shout as he drove out of sight
Merry Christmas to all , have a helluva night.

 

[Foxee Browne]

Oh cum all ye faithful
Joyful and triumphant …

Only the spelling of one little word changes everything

 

[English Lady]

EL's in the kitchen cooking with care
knowing the AH will soon all be there.
Munching and crunching, oohing and ahhing,
Kissing and smooching, petting their darling.
Groping and moaning they writhe on the floor
Whilst EL tries to open the oven door.
"Can I kiss the cook?" A sexy voice calls
EL forgets the cookies and to her knees falls.
Where she shows such christmas spirit, sucking with glee,
"Ho, Ho, Ho" Says the man in red, "Merry Christmas to me."

 

[shereads]

Ma in her corset and Dad in her panties
Were planning an orgy with uncles and aunties.

 

[TheEarl]

In came The Earl, thinking of his friends,
Although he's been absent, he's come for amends.

He misses the old AH, but logs on to view,
A hundred new faces, none that he knew.

"Where's Mathgirl, where's Whisper?
"Where's Perdita and Yui?
"Where's Svenska, where's Aurora?
"Where's Vella and Lucky?"

Then, in a flash, he saw a welcome sight
EL's avatar, easing the blight.
A welcome laugh, while also pointing out,
That there's still friendly faces; there's no need to pout.

And The Earl jumped up, shouting with glee
For all of the friends that he has yet to see.
For the AH has bonds that still hold like stone.
And though he's been absent, he'll never feel alone.


Merry Christmas, one and all.

The Earl

 

[Subo97]

"Ohhhhhh god", I cried
all stretched out on my bed
who can dream of sugar plums
when you're getting such wonderful head.

"your lips are so soft,"
I moaned to my wife.
"Jimmy Stewart was right;
It's a wonderful life."

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Twas the night before Christmas,
And in the back of the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
Except Jenny rubbing her mouse.

Her pantyhose were hung,
Over a kitchen chair.
The little bastards next door,
Had finally ceased the great tear.

When up on the roof,
I heard such a clatter.
From the sofa I rose,
And ran to the window,
To see what was the matter.

I flew to the window and threw up the sash.
Out on the lawn were a bunch of reindeer and a dumpy looking sleigh.
One reindeer was whizzing, another taking a poop.
“Knock it off, you assholes!” I screamed.
“If I wanted dead grass and yellow snow, I’d do it myself.”

Then I turned around and what did I see?
Some fat fuck in a red suit humping my tree.
“Get the hell out of here,” I shouted with glee.
With a startled jump he turn ‘round to me.

His wiener was dangling in front of my face.
“Suck it you Bitch!” he told me, holding his disgrace.
“Suck it yourself, you fat, fucking perv!” I said in voice that echoed the halls.
Then he didn‘t say much after I kicked him in the balls.

I tried my best to catch the little fat fuck,
But he escaped up the chimney, only by luck.
And I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight,
Now Dasher. Now Dancer.
Comet, get off of Vixen!
And you too, Bonner and Blitzen.

I called after him as he flew out of sight.
“And don’t come back you big fat fuck!”

 

[MarshAlien]

I haven't a clue what to write after that;
I'll simply remember to take off my hat.

And bow to all of my friends here at Lit,
Who've helped me get better at writin' and ****.

TK, SW, DK, SK, LC, BS, V, EO, FD, J, ADK, MP, R, VP, and those I can't think of right now - thank you all.

Merry Christmas

 

[IrezumiKiss]

Ma in her corset and Dad in her panties
Were planning an orgy with uncles and aunties.

Aunty's big breasts
Were bulging with size
And my incestuous hard cock
Dribbled precum down my thighs.

To my bedroom I went
To jack off with zest
But then I ran into my horny older cousin
Who popped her titties out of her velour vest.

We ducked into an adjacent closet
Where she proceeded to feed
Upon my turgid cock
Which soon filled her mouth with warm seed!

 

[neonlyte]

It's 02.39 and Christmas Day's cum
I'm going to bed now, with an overblown tum

It's mine, I might add, not the missus's I'm sure
she's past out from the booze and is asleep on the floor.

 

[amicus]

Ami saunters in bearing a jigger of Gin
and stifles a grin at the usual din

Tintinnabulation; a rowdy celebration in the Lit nation
ripples thus and thus with great expectation.

A nod here and there a tentative smile, a flirt over there
a suggestive guile, hmmm, perhaps I may stay a while...

Seasons Greetings to each and all...




Amicus....

 

[DesertPirate]

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!

May all of you who write so well have a very Happy New Year with the success you are looking for

 

[shereads]

"On, Harlot and Trollop! On, Floosie and Vixen!
On, Roundhead and Todger! On Johnson and Nixon!"

 

[Guest]

"On, Harlot and Trollop! On, Floosie and Vixen!
On, Roundhead and Todger! On Johnson and Nixon!"

Johnson? Nixon?

Why do you hate freedom?

 

[Guest]

'Twas the night after Christmas, a parent's job done,
the kids dreaming happily, new toys are fun,

So now it is time for adult relaxation
A few rum and cokes before sex stimulation.