Nice Guys Finish last

[zeropaxx]

Why is it that nice guys finish last, while all the hot nice women go for assholes. Yet they talk to nice guys about the asshole and say "why can't I find a nice guy and the nice girl just stays with the asshole. It is fucked up. I am a nice guy and I want to know how to be an asshole. Can anyone help me? It's just for the soul purpose of getting my foot in the door then I will revert back to my old ways.

Any suggestions?

 

[tazzy26]

Men you hit the nail right on the head. I have wondered the same thing myself. Hopefully the ladies will answer!

 

[MsSpellChecker]

Wine us, dine us then treat us like crap. Make the sex hard and rough then treat us like that. Call us names, tell us how low we are and how no one will ever want us. Sleep with us then blow us off. I think you get the picture.

If you weren't so far away I'd be open but I am not where you are.

 

[X_TCY]

Would like a nice guy

Personally I would love to find a nice guy. The last two guys I have gone out with stopped seeing me because they said I was too nice!! That really ticked me off. SO all you nice guys out there, feel free to contact me. Of course for a relationship I belive there has to be some attraction too, but for a friendship, that doesn't matter.

X

 

[OldestMotive]

Wine us, dine us then treat us like crap. Make the sex hard and rough then treat us like that. Call us names, tell us how low we are and how no one will ever want us. Sleep with us then blow us off. I think you get the picture.

If you weren't so far away I'd be open but I am not where you are.

Are you saying this is what women want, or what you've experienced?

 

[RawHumor]

I used to believe that, but then I discovered that often the "nice" guys are either whiners, whimpy, or boring along with being "nice".

Women DO want nice guys, but they don't want a guy who is looking to date his mother.

 

[X_TCY]

true, don't want to be a Mom figure

Not all nice guys are whiners. Some just have a very bad habit of hooking up with women who are total bitches. I have seen that happen tons of times, its like they enjoy being treated poorly and I suppose some people do.

Me I would like someone who is intelligent, fairly attractive and doesn't play games.

 

[KookyDooky]

I used to believe that, but then I discovered that often the "nice" guys are either whiners, whimpy, or boring along with being "nice".

Women DO want nice guys, but they don't want a guy who is looking to date his mother.

I agree with RH. Women DO want a nice guy, but they're also looking for excitement and adventure. While there are many guys out there that are both nice and crazy...the majority of nice guys are typically home-bodies.

On the other hand, X_TCY is right too. Many times the girls that go for assholes are no good themselves...is that what you really want?

 

[VIKING511]

Define nice?

A lot of guys tend to confuse nice with indecisiveness, or a lack of confidence, or personality.

Always doing what she wants is not being nice, it is being weak minded.
When she says, what do you want to do tonight? don't reply, "whatever you want" be confident and self assured.

Most women may seem to want bad guys, but what they really have been atteracted to is the self assuredness, strong will and confidence that most "bad guys" demonstrate.

Of course a lot of times they will then try and change the "bad things" that go along with the "self assuredness, strong will and confidence"
Like the arrogance, self-centeredness and vanity.

And that usually causes the relationship to fail.

So the trick is to be pleasant without seeming weak
interested, without seeming to cling
confident and self assured without being arrogant and self absorbed.
and finally, this is hard, tough, without seeming cruel



These are of course, my opinions but they have worked for me.

 

[KookyDooky]

Re: Define nice?

So the trick is to be pleasant without seeming weak
interested, without seeming to cling
confident and self assured without being arrogant and self absorbed.
and finally, this is hard, tough, without seeming cruel

This is the magic formula! You've done it Viking!!!

Was this formula developed through your experience with Toronto girls?

 

[VIKING511]

For the most part yes

It was a long and interesting trip to the point in my life I am at now.

Thanks for the kind words

 

[MsSpellChecker]

he asked for it

the guy asked how to be a jerk so i told him!

 

[Guest]

Women DO want nice guys, but they don't want a guy who is looking to date his mother.

Exactly!

Besides, some people (men as well as women) fall into a "pattern" that they have trouble getting out of even if they want out. It's why a woman who was abused as a child, or who witnessed her mother being abused, dates or marries an abuser. It's not that she craves the abuse, it's what she knows.

 

[asenath]

I like nice guys as long as they're aggressive. Passive men are boring.

 

[Imi]

I think Viking was very insightful in his comments. I agree wholeheartedly. There is nothing so sexy as a self confident intelligent man.

 

[Shingen]

Zero, for one thing you have to stop saying "Nice guys finish last" to yourself. It's an affirmation that, said enough, becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. So quit it!

 

[Avery_Chisholm]

I beg to differ I have yet to meet any of these so called nice guys as they seem to be more than alittle intimidated to strike up conversation, yes I may greet you with a few hairs out of place but I have a very soft voice and am quite shy too bad they wouldn't see past the exterior to find that out Ooooh well

 

[zeropaxx]

I'm not one of those guys, I repeat I'm not, not one of those guys looking to date a mother type. I am how ever looking to date some one who respects me just as much as I respect her. I was raise with old fashion values and that makes me a nice guy.

 

[Lust Engine]

Why is there this bad stigma about being a nice guy? Heck... I consider myself a nice guy and I've never had any problems with dating and/ or striking up a conversation with beautiful women.

I saw in the original post of how you claim "nice guys finish last". I never knew I was in a competition! And it isn't!!! If you're into bagging as many women out there as possible & trying to keep up with Mr. Asshole Stud Monkey, then I guess it can be a competition. But from the sounds of it, you want to find someone with the same kind of morals, values, likes & dislikes that you have. She's out there... but you just can't look at it as a competition to find her.

She's out there looking for you too. And whoever & wherever she is, I hope she's not griping & grousing about it either. It takes a bit of confidence to wade through some of the BS, but hopefully you'll find that special someone. But realize confidence & this negative attitude of "WHY?" doesn't exactly translate to being fruitful.

The adage of "you got to try on a lot of shoes before you find the right fit" applies here, but grousing about how each shoe fits horribly or the styling isn't right doesn't exactly endear you to the shoe salesman.

Go with confidence & some patience.

 

[greybeard]

will you marry me?...............

A lot of guys tend to confuse nice with indecisiveness, or a lack of confidence, or personality.

Always doing what she wants is not being nice, it is being weak minded.
When she says, what do you want to do tonight? don't reply, "whatever you want" be confident and self assured.

Most women may seem to want bad guys, but what they really have been atteracted to is the self assuredness, strong will and confidence that most "bad guys" demonstrate.

Of course a lot of times they will then try and change the "bad things" that go along with the "self assuredness, strong will and confidence"
Like the arrogance, self-centeredness and vanity.

And that usually causes the relationship to fail.

So the trick is to be pleasant without seeming weak
interested, without seeming to cling
confident and self assured without being arrogant and self absorbed.
and finally, this is hard, tough, without seeming cruel



These are of course, my opinions but they have worked for me.

but seriously.............viking511 also said later that it has taken him a while to come to understand this...........we can listen and heed the experience of others...........but it is our own experience which will allow us to truly understand...............and we get impatient...............and this is where I am with Lust Engine.........I have always considered myself a nice guy...........and I have done ok.........not currently where I would like to be, but I know that it is out there for me..................

greybeard

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Why is it that so many 'nice guys' are totally weak? I used to be one of them, and I was a doormat! What I learned is that most women aren't attracted to weakness. What you need to do is be a man, and not worry about being nice all the time. That doesn't mean be an asshole, it just means that you should be willing to stand up for yourself, and not cave in to anyone.
I know alot of nice guys want to please others all the time, but that comes off as fake, and a sign of insecurity. I know I hate it when a woman does it, and I can't imagine women like it any better.

 

[lovechild27]

I sooooo want a nice guy. I am cute too

 

[KookyDooky]

I sooooo want a nice guy. I am cute too

I'm a REALLY nice guy...for real (as opposed to those fake "nice guys").

Let's talk about how nice I can be for you.

Elroy

 

[SexySparkles]

Because you're not looking for a NICE girl, you're looking for a HOT one.

The hot girls want the hot guys because they're both equally shallow. The "nice guys" need to lower their standards.

 

[Lust Engine]

If you want shallow, you can find shallow. There's no raising or lowering of standards- it's just at that level. If you want someone worthwhile, whether you consider that high or low standards, then go for it. No need to lower your standards at all. There are hot guys & gals who are shallow & there are hot guys & gals who are nice too.