Newspaper Headlines for the year 2035

G.R.

Experienced
Joined
Nov 30, 2001
Posts
63
Stole this and altered it from another BB. Blame Starfish.
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Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

Spotted Owl plague threatens Western North America crops & livestock.

Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Iraq, Syria, and Lebanon)

Afghanistan still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at
least ten more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

35 year study: diet and exercise is the key to weight loss.

Nursing home event... Bill Clinton denies allegations of affair with candy striper.

Texas executes last remaining citizen.

Upcoming NFL draft likely to focus on use of mutants.

Baby conceived naturally.....scientists stumped.

Authentic year 2010 "Laurel doll" sells at Sotheby's for $4.6 million.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing thousands in Los Angeles. Ren, you'd better move.

Average height of NBA players now nine foot seven inches.

Microsoft announces it has perfected its newest version of Windows so it crashes BEFORE installation is completed.

New California law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers,
and baseball bats be registered by January 2036.

G.R. succeeds in her efforts of getting the legalization of marijuana passed, and wins a nobel prize for her superconductive propulsion system, enabling humanity to go where no man has gone before.
 
sorry to hijack your thread, but....

AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
THAT'S TRIPPY!!!!

who the hell are you? what the hell is going on here? did i miss something while i was gone? somebody throw me a bone, here!

*wanders around in a state of cluelessness with a really dumb look on my face (as per usual)*
 
lavender said:
. I bet it will be a race to buy it just like when Cabbage Patch came out.

Remember that shit.... That was INSANE. I got two on the first day cause my mommy loves me. "Boyd Cullen", and "Sybill something or other"... Twins. :D


Scylis, you don't remember our old friend G.R.?

You need to snap the fuck out of it boy!
 
but you're G.R.!
arn't you?
i..i mean........? with th... and.... you... ih... ah...

*whimpers*
 
Uh, no... not me..... uh.... that's right.... no....

See, we aren't the same...

We post too close together to be the same person....

Hope you got it straight now...
 
Uh, Scylis, uh..... no we aren't the same. No.

Uh, well, I am the one that was your little slave girl and Starfish is that neurotic twit that is fucked in the head.

I am normal. She is not.

Got it?
 
*grips head and grimaces*

i can hear Radio Free Europe in my headbones. i have many headbones.

my headbones and i are going to scan the television channels for traitors and pigs.

they are everywhere.

don't come near me or i'll shoot you. i trust nothing. these are strange days.

bring me some cigarettes.
 
Nobody Special's wife said:
~blinking stupidly as I walk away~

You know you've got this all figured out.

You are just playing 'innocent' when you know you really are not.


Don't give me any of that .... "Uh..... but.... uh" crap. ;)
 
**Last automobile scrapped, world is now motorcycle only**
**Scientist discover that gravity is leading cause of aircraft crashes**
**First trans-atlantic bridge opens, toll is $3000.00**
**First McDonalds opens on Mars**
**American flag made bigger to make room for more stars as last reminant of European Union is made into a new state**
:D
 
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