Newspaper Editors Need Editing

[CopyCarver]

According to a little feature on Netscape, the editors of some small town newspapers could have used our help when they wrote the following headlines:

Psychic Says World Didn’t End on 6-6-06
Iraqui Head Seeks Arms
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Babies Are What the Mother Eats
Never Withhold Herpes Infections from Loved Ones
Here’s How You Can Lick Doberman’s Leg Sores
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
“Light” Meals Are Lower in Fat, Calories
Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking
Malls Try to Attract Shopper
Official: Rain Cures Drought
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
Man Shoots Neighbor with Machete
Tomatoes Come in Big, Little, Medium Sizes
Scientists See Quakes in L.A. Future
Include Your Children When Making Cookies
Experts Say Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over
If Strike Isn’t Settled Soon, It May Last a While
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
House Passes Gas Tax onto Senate
Stiff Opposition to Casketless Funeral Plan
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
Drunk Drivers Paid $1000 in 1984
War Dims Hope for Peace
Smokers Are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency
Autos Killing 110 a Day; Let’s Resolve to Do Better
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn’t Seen in Years
Man is Fatally Slain
Death Causes Sadness
Dance Will Help Clear Minefields
Pro Fat Groups Get Bigger
Mental Health Groups Selling Fruitcakes
Dean Appears with Wife, Jimmy Carter
Scientists Kill Ducks to See Why They’re Dying
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Eye Drops Off Shelf

 

[illicity71]

And one that appeared recently in my local paper: History is Past.

Ugh.

According to a little feature on Netscape, the editors of some small town newspapers could have used our help when they wrote the following headlines:

Psychic Says World Didn’t End on 6-6-06
Iraqui Head Seeks Arms
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Babies Are What the Mother Eats
Never Withhold Herpes Infections from Loved Ones
Here’s How You Can Lick Doberman’s Leg Sores
Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link
“Light” Meals Are Lower in Fat, Calories
Alcohol Ads Promote Drinking
Malls Try to Attract Shopper
Official: Rain Cures Drought
Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
Man Shoots Neighbor with Machete
Tomatoes Come in Big, Little, Medium Sizes
Scientists See Quakes in L.A. Future
Include Your Children When Making Cookies
Experts Say Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Panda Mating Fails, Veterinarian Takes Over
If Strike Isn’t Settled Soon, It May Last a While
Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing
House Passes Gas Tax onto Senate
Stiff Opposition to Casketless Funeral Plan
Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Queen Mary Having Bottom Scraped
NJ Judge to Rule on Nude Beach
Drunk Drivers Paid $1000 in 1984
War Dims Hope for Peace
Smokers Are Productive, but Death Cuts Efficiency
Autos Killing 110 a Day; Let’s Resolve to Do Better
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Blind Woman Gets New Kidney from Dad She Hasn’t Seen in Years
Man is Fatally Slain
Death Causes Sadness
Dance Will Help Clear Minefields
Pro Fat Groups Get Bigger
Mental Health Groups Selling Fruitcakes
Dean Appears with Wife, Jimmy Carter
Scientists Kill Ducks to See Why They’re Dying
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
Eye Drops Off Shelf

 

[Recidiva]

There's a local furniture chain.

"Badcock Furniture"

And what...were you thinking?

 

[Selena_Kitt]

*snort*

That was TOTALLY fun!

 

[Darla_Darling]

Study Finds Sex, Pregnancy Link

I dare someone to submit a story to Literotica with that title.

 

[CopyCarver]

I dare someone to submit a story to Literotica with that title.

Anyone want to try? It would probably have a better chance of acceptance than the one about the panda and the veterinarian.

 

[KinseyClone]

Can't believe you missed these:

• Women's Movement Called More Broad-Based
• Antique Stripper to Display Wares at Store
• March Planned For Next August
• Blind Bishop Appointed To See
• Lingerie Shipment Hijacked--Thief Gives Police The Slip
• L.A. Voters Approve Urban Renewal By Landslide
• Patient At Death's Door--Doctors Pull Him Through
• Latin Course To Be Canceled--No Interest Among Students, Et Al.
• Diaper Market Bottoms Out
• Croupiers On Strike--Management: No Big Deal-
• Gander County Offers Rare Opportunity to Goose Hunters
• Lawyers Give Poor Free Legal Advice
• Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
• Fund Set Up for Beating Victim's Kin
• Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
• Cancer Society Honors Marlboro Man
• Nicaragua Sets Goal to Wipe Out Literacy
• 20-Year Friendship Ends at Altar
• Half of US Public School Students Brighter than Other Half