News Flash!

[Gaucho]

A friend emailed me this today and I knew I had to share it with everyone. I have no idea of its veracity, but as Deborah will tell you, when I like something it doesn't matter whether it's true or not.

From the New England Journal of Medicine:

Great news for you girl watchers! Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.

According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout," declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.

Dr. Weatherby and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so.

The study revealed that after 5 years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease. "Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Weatherby. "There's no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthier."

"Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

Now that's my kind of study! What about it, ladies? Are you ready to do your part in keeping the men on this site young and healthy?

I don't know about anybody else, but I'm going to go stare at Endlessly's picture for awhile.

 

[Expertise]

Better living through better medicine.

 

[Endlessly]

Way cool, so am I...

Wait. I'm not male. And my breasts are, like, right here.

*blink* You know, I should be disturbed by this.. But I'm not. ('this' being that study.. Gaucho baby, stare all you like. ) If I guy told me he was staring at my chest because he had high blood pressure, I'd laugh my ass off.

I think this should be under the pick-up lines thread.. *L*

 

[Mensa]

Confirmation

It' true! It's true!
Now you know what I've been doing all my life.
- Methuselah

 

[Canucklehead922]

Does this study really reveal anything we don't know already? (Uh...was that a pun I just made?)

So what does this study say about the rest of a woman's wonderful equipement?

 

[Gaucho]

Way cool, so am I...

Wait. I'm not male. And my breasts are, like, right here.

*blink* You know, I should be disturbed by this.. But I'm not. ('this' being that study.. Gaucho baby, stare all you like. ) If I guy told me he was staring at my chest because he had high blood pressure, I'd laugh my ass off.

I think this should be under the pick-up lines thread.. *L*

It is interesting to note that the study made no mention of whether a man could be "doing" anything while he was staring. And no, Endlessly, I'm not going to "ewwwwwwww" you out by admitting to any such thing, either.

But I'm on my way, honey. Just close your eyes, and when you feel that first wave of cool air roll over your body, you'll know I'm coming.

Wait a minute. That didn't come out right, did it?

 

[Endlessly]

*laughing* Ooooooh, bad pun.

I was going to say.. At least wait until you get here first!

 

[Whispersecret]

So, does this mean I can start my own breast therapy business? Maybe I could set up a pic website where men could drool over breasts without guilt. If their significant other asked them about it, they could say it was for their health and that their doctor recommended it! Whaddaya think?

 

[Skibum]

WOW! All that ogling I have been practicing ever since I noticed how much nicer girls look has been good for me! You can't imagine how happy this makes me. And ifmy wife catches me staring at someone else, I can just say I'm doing it for my health!

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

It's about time...

After years and years of dicking around with amateurish medicine, those guys at NEJM are apparently finally getting around to doing some worthwhile cardiovascular research. And even better, they're giving support to a therapeutic practice I've been advocating for years. I feel vindicated.

Still, though, it can't make THAT much of a difference, since heart disease is still the #1 killer of men worldwide. Perhaps we're just not looking at enough breasts. I think we could put a serious dent in heart-related mortality if you women would start walking around topless.

So come on, ladies... do your part to improve public health!

 

[Bushido71XS]

Does this mean I don't have to feel like such a lech while ogling those lovely womanly attributes?

 

[Whispersecret]

Anything to Promote the Health of Our Gallant Literotica Menfolk!

Far be it from me to contribute to heart disease...

<pulls her nightie off over her head, tosses it to the floor, and shakes her little Daily Recommended Tittie Allowance>

To your health, gentlemen!

[Edited by whispersecret on 07-21-2000 at 09:12 PM]

 

[Bigdog]

I feel better already!

Is this covered by my HMO?

 

[Unclebill]

WOW! All that ogling I have been practicing ever since I noticed how much nicer girls look has been good for me! You can't imagine how happy this makes me. And ifmy wife catches me staring at someone else, I can just say I'm doing it for my health!

Just be careful that the wife's response isn't more detrimental to your health!

 

[Gaucho]

Re: Anything to Promote the Health of Our Gallant Literotica Menfolk!

Far be it from me to contribute to heart disease...

<pulls her nightie off over her head, tosses it to the floor, and shakes her little Daily Recommended Tittie Allowance>

To your health, gentlemen!

[Edited by whispersecret on 07-21-2000 at 09:12 PM]

Whisper, honey. Thanks for the er....support. It's nice to know there's at least one lady on this site who cares about my heart condition.

btw - Burgundy Cherry. Yum, Yum!

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

Amen, Gaucho. WS deserves the highest praise for her selfless crusade to improve male cardiovascular health.

I imagine she could also do wonders for pelvic blood flow and erectile dysfunction. Perhaps I should sponsor a viagra vs. WS clinical trial and see which of the two can grow more wood.

(Aside to WS: I also particularly enjoyed the phrase "daily recommended tittie allowance". And speaking of that, I'll be needing mine now. You don't want me to be malnourished now, do ya?)

 

[Budokan]

By golly, I knew I wasn't doing anything wrong when I ogled a woman's jiggling breasts at the beach...

 

[Whispersecret]

No Animals Will Be Harmed in This Medical Study

Gaucho, I hear that if you watch me put burgundy cherry ice cream on my nippies it adds five years to your life span. If you lick it off, you can live forever. But that’s not been clinically proven.

Oliver love, I’ve been meaning to tell you that you’ve been looking a bit peaked lately. Not enough titties in your life by far. I’ve only got a modest pair, <cups her modest breasts in her hands and glances at you shyly> but I’ll not shirk my duty as a woman, no matter how hard, er, ah, difficult it gets. <coughs delicately into her hand hiding her smile>

I think I need to set up a schedule for those males who feel the need for my particular brand of preventive medicine. How long should the D.R.T.A sessions be, Dr. Clozoff?

 

[Gaucho]

Re: No Animals Will Be Harmed in This Medical Study

Gaucho, I hear that if you watch me put burgundy cherry ice cream on my nippies it adds five years to your life span. If you lick it off, you can live forever. But that’s not been clinically proven.

What if the good doctor takes one nip and I take the other? Does that double the life span or merely double the pleasure?

btw - as one BC lover to another, if you can find Burgundy Cherry anywhere I'll gladly chip in on a lifetime supply. I mean, a good clinical study has to run its course, doesn't it?

 

[Roland Gilliad]

Roland dosent talk, he just thanks god he lives near a nudist beach (no kiddin)"i figure im gonna live to be 120 if i keep this staring up

 

[Oliver Clozoff]

Re: No Animals Will Be Harmed in This Medical Study

Not enough titties in your life by far... How long should the D.R.T.A sessions be, Dr. Clozoff?

so true, so true. But then again, is it possible to truly have enough titties in one's life?

The only way to know is to try, though, right? So, let's get this trial underway, but before we do, I just have one condition: I have to be sure to be included in the experimental arm and subjected to the titty treatment. I don't wanna get placebo... I've had that too long already (don't ask, hehe).

God, I love science!

 

[Earthmuffin]

What about the gravity of the situation?

I'd be happy to contribute to the total cardiovascular fitness recommendations set out by the NEJM on the condition no one complains about the eventual effects of gravity!!

 

[Skibum]

Re: What about the gravity of the situation?

I'd be happy to contribute to the total cardiovascular fitness recommendations set out by the NEJM on the condition no one complains about the eventual effects of gravity!!

You'll get no complaints from this corner!

 

[Bushido71XS]

::::Grabbing Binoculars:::; Allll--righty then!