Newbie who is very curious...

[BellaMarie]

I have been reading posts/stories on literoctia.com for hours and I must say that this is the first really helpful board I have found.

I am I newbie to BDSM world and I am very curious about Dom/Sub relationships.

I have no idea really where to start and unfortunately I don't know anyone who is involved in this world so I am going in really blind.

Any help or resources anyone could provide would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you in advance for your help.

 

[Luminatri]

I take it you've read some of the stories on it?

Then just trawl the boards, get the feel of how everyone is.
Above everything, relax and enjoy it, do just exactly what you want

 

[Luminatri]

and welcome to Lit Bella

 

[BellaMarie]

Thank you.

 

[MelancholyBaby]

First of all, welcome to Lit!

I can empathize with you; I was in your position at one time and I know how daunting it is to begin to get involved in BDSM. It's very important to do research; not just here at lit but at other websites and books as well. I believe there is a thread above that lists helpful places to begin to look. Also there is a separate BDSM forum here on lit that you can learn a great deal from. Check it out if you haven't already; it is truly a great resource.

A few things that I've found helpful the more I've learned...

Take your time in getting to know what you want. What excites you and what doesn't. What your limits are. What you need. How you'd like to proceed. Are you interested in r/t or an online thing?

I'm sure as you proceed you will no doubt come into contact with many people. Don't believe everything you hear. Find a few people who you can be close to and trust to provide guidance.

I am not sure if you identify more with submission or dominance but a D/s relationship is not easily defined. I know that my relationship with my Lord is vastly different than the relationships of other D/s couples. You have to find what works for you and what makes you happy.

I wish you the best of luck. I don't mean to rattle off instructions or anything but I just wanted to share a lot of things I have learned along the way that I wish I would have known before I learned them. If you ever have any questions feel free to message me.

Enjoy the journey and the growth you'll experience as you learn more and more.

-M

 

[Auraka6669]

Also, I'm sure you're getting a lot of pms.

Take it slow. Learning from the wrong "teacher" can be a very bad thing. Have fun and enjoy the ride.

 

[BellaMarie]

Thank you for all of your excellent advice it has been most helpful, and I am being very cautious.

 

[KinkyBoyUK]

Thank you for all of your excellent advice it has been most helpful, and I am being very cautious.

welcome bella marie, it might eb worth you heading over to the bdsm cafe
https://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=28 and start chatting to people there, we are a friendly bunch and there will be many people willing to help you fit in

 

[BellaMarie]

bella marie

 

[cryingalien]

Bella marie,

Would love to chat with you some time and see how innocent you really are. Innocent and naughty all at the same time. Drop me a PM if you are curious.

 

[DarkSteven]

Bella Marie, welcome.

I assume that you're looking at being the submissive in a D/s relationship. The first thing I'd like to say to you is to develop a quick bullshit filter. A true Dom is aware of the needs of his sub as well as his own, and acts accordingly. A fake Dom is only concerned about himself, and will frequently try to order a submissive around before even knowing her. Also, some fake Doms are only in it for sex.

See if there's a D/s group local to you and join them for social time if possible. If you're lucky, a couple might take you under their wing while you learn and meet people.

PM me if I can help.