Newbie wanting feedback? You may want to start here!

[WickedEve]

Note: KillerMuffin has a great thread "feedback circle redux" you may want to also check out.

Welcome!

So many writers that are new to Literotica are seeking feedback for their stories and poems. I've seen many of their threads go unanswered. The regulars here are very nice, a little nutty, but already busy giving feedback.

Here's a few tips that may help if you're starting a new thread for feedback:
Make sure you include the title and the URL.
The category.
A brief description -- something to tempt others to take the time to read your creation.

You can also feel free to post on this thread your request for feedback. Of course, there is one requirement -- or serious request. When you post your URL, category, and description, include feedback for another newbie. This will guarantee you at least 1 feedback!

Teasingly,
Wicked Eve

 

[WickedEve]

Getting Started

To get things started, here's a new writer that wants feedback and has no replies to his thread.

Story: Inside Out & Wrong Side Up
Author: KingWebster
Category: BDSM
Story Link: http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=32128

A late arrival and a small penis cause some serious problems. Find out what the punishment could possibly be. Who knows, maybe humiliation and a strap-on are in order.

Thanks for listening,
KingWebster

KingWebster, I read you story and liked it very much. It' well-written -- a few typos and punctuation mistakes, though, but not many. I really like the male character in the story. Not the typical, young stud with a huge penis. This character felt real to me. One thing, you may not want to continually place Alex's cock in quotation marks. I think to call it a "cock" the first time is sufficient and then just refer to it as Alex's cock. I liked this line, KingWebster: "She was pumping me like a fifty year-old man fucks his trophy wife."

Remember to read, vote, send feedback (even if it's only a few words.)

 

[WickedEve]

Writers already requesting feedback:

Title: Second Shift
Category: Novels and Novellas
Author: elcali
Link: http://literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=32096

Title: The Letter Opener
Category: BDSM
Author: SexuallyGifted
Link: http://literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=31576

 

[Couture]

I thought the King Webster story was excellent. This is my second time reading it. I would like to echo what Wicked Eve said with the quotes. Maybe add that it may have been a good idea to expand the guy's dialogue a tiny bit.

 

[Couture]

SexuallyGifted, hmmm. . . a thumb raised to half-mast. You are *really* going to need to have written your story in first or third person to not get burned on feedback from other writers and editors. I'm not saying your story was bad, only that you didn't really give yourself a chance to communicate your fantasy.

You see, *I* can use second person here, because I am talking to *you*. However, in a sex story, who are you talking to? If you are writing story for your lover it is fine. When you are writing to an assorted audience consisting of male/female/gay/straight etc. it just doesn't read right.

Instead, if the story is about your lover, tell us about him or her and yourself as well. Then, when you put them in your setting and describe what they do, the picture is complete. I can read it and imagine what you have fantasized.

 

[WickedEve]

Couture

Maybe add that it may have been a good idea to expand the guy's dialogue a tiny bit.

I agree. I wanted to hear more from him. I'd like to see a second chapter and get to know this character more.