Newbie seeking gentle, but experienced hand

[Illiterateoaf]

I've drafted a story for the Loving Wive's section and would appreciate a gentle, but experienced hand at editing my work. My story is about a sexual adventure I requested my wife to embark on. I asked her to offer herself, sexually, to another couple in my absence and record it. In my mind, it's a two piece story.

Act I sets the scene to get her and the other participants to agree. In Arial 12pt font, it is 6.5 pages long.

Act II is her fulfillment of the request and has yet to be written. I haven't written it yet for two reasons: 1. I spent a good deal of time writing Act I and want it cleaned up so that I get the rythm down. 2. I need help. Act I is written in first person. After she leaves me and comes back, I can keep in in first person. However, once I view the video and want to share the result of her exploits in the story.

After editing the story, I would like a few conceptual ideas on how I should present this. Should I keep Act I in first person and add all first person events and then write Act II from the third person viewing perspective? Or should I break the story up by time?

Thank you in advance.

Respectfully submitted,

The Illiterate Oaf

 

[AsylumSeeker]

I've drafted a story for the Loving Wive's section and would appreciate a gentle, but experienced hand at editing my work. My story is about a sexual adventure I requested my wife to embark on. I asked her to offer herself, sexually, to another couple in my absence and record it. In my mind, it's a two piece story.

Act I sets the scene to get her and the other participants to agree. In Arial 12pt font, it is 6.5 pages long.

Act II is her fulfillment of the request and has yet to be written. I haven't written it yet for two reasons: 1. I spent a good deal of time writing Act I and want it cleaned up so that I get the rythm down. 2. I need help. Act I is written in first person. After she leaves me and comes back, I can keep in in first person. However, once I view the video and want to share the result of her exploits in the story.

After editing the story, I would like a few conceptual ideas on how I should present this. Should I keep Act I in first person and add all first person events and then write Act II from the third person viewing perspective? Or should I break the story up by time?

Thank you in advance.

Respectfully submitted,

The Illiterate Oaf

In my experience the crowd at Loving Wives frowns upon sexual unions outside of marriage. Essentially your story will not do well there. Consider Erotic Couplings instead. Or post as you desire, just a friendly caution.

 

[Illiterateoaf]

I appreciate the advice and will consider it. I was thinking this story was a cuckold type story and made sense to be sorted as loving wives. There are a number of erotic scenes, but the essence of the story is the husband's enjoyment of watching his wife perform sexual acts by his request.

Erotic couplings is more one on one. This is precisely why I'd like to have an editor read this over and get some feedback.

 

[roomfor1more]

I am willing to help you edit your story and give you some suggestions. From personal experience if you place cuckold story that involves a married couple in "loving wives"section be prepared for a lot of low votes and rude comments. I did a quasi-cuckold story of a married couple and the reason why I say quasi-cuckold, it is not the typical femdom story of the wife humiliating the husband by having sex with another male. Instead it was about a mutual decision that the couple made together and enjoyed together after it happened. Nonetheless the story received a lot of rude comments, which I removed, and a lot of low votes because people had a difficult time with two of the characters being married. If you can accept your story might receive a lot of low votes and you are prepared to effectively deal with the rude comments then feel free to place it there. My own suggestions for categories would be BDSM or group sex.

 

[Illiterateoaf]

Thank you for your offer to help. I have sent you a private message and included the draft of the story, as well as an email address. I thought I had private messaging turned on and just realized that was not the case.

If there was anyone else that tried to PM me and was rejected, my apologies.

 

[Illiterateoaf]

I submitted my story for approval today. A special thank you to roomfor1more. The insight provided forced me to go beyond where I thought my story was capable of going.

Here's to hoping for a quick approval and warm reception!