Newbie ideas?

[tommcgee]

I just finished my third story. I was told my first two were too short, so I attempted to flesh out the third one a little more. I wrote it in past tense, which is something I generally don't like, but as it is a flashback of sorts, I was hoping it would work.

Anyway, once I get rolling I can usually write pretty quickly. So, I am hoping someone can give me some ideas for writing some new stuff. Also, please read my first 3 stories to see what you think.

Thanks
Tom

 

[Carnevil9]

A link to your stories would go a long way toward getting you some feedback.

 

[GratefulFred]

Tom, I read both your stories and I must say that the way you put down letters forming words, and words forming sentences, and even sentences forming paragraphs and enough paragraphs to form a story was extremely amazing. I mean how did you keep the letters so uniform? Did you use this thing called a "computer" or something called a "keyboard"? I have heard that those things can help though I wasn't aware that they were real or just some sci-fi fantasy.

Anyways post a link so that some serious reviewers can give some impact (not me).

 

[tommcgee]

Tom, I read both your stories and I must say that the way you put down letters forming words, and words forming sentences, and even sentences forming paragraphs and enough paragraphs to form a story was extremely amazing. I mean how did you keep the letters so uniform? Did you use this thing called a "computer" or something called a "keyboard"? I have heard that those things can help though I wasn't aware that they were real or just some sci-fi fantasy.

Anyways post a link so that some serious reviewers can give some impact (not me).

Actually no... I hand wrote those... I just have amazing penmanship!

Here are my links...

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=376132

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=376151

Thanks for the input in advance!

 

[subwannabe]

I thought the stories were ok but I usually only get turned on by ones which appeal to my personal fetishes. The only reason I am responding is I personally don't like long stories so I thought I would give you my opinion on that. I read a story to get turned on or to get off and I can't do that with a long story. I have a short attention span. I don't mind a story building the characters in the beginning to give it a sense of realism but to just go on and on and on and on leaves me bored, not turned on. I personally feel too many of Lit's stories are just too long and I find myself saying "let's fuck already", or usually I just quit reading the story in the middle and move on to a different one. My best advice is to write in a manner that makes you comfortable and write stories that turn you on instead of trying to figure out how to turn someone else on.

 

[Carnevil9]

I read them both. They are pretty well written, and not too short for many peoples' tastes.

However, the dialog doesn't sound very realistic, and the action is kind of, well, ordinary. Sort of like explicit romance instead of hot steamy smut.

Just my opinion. Keep writing!......Carney

 

[tommcgee]

I read them both. They are pretty well written, and not too short for many peoples' tastes.

However, the dialog doesn't sound very realistic, and the action is kind of, well, ordinary. Sort of like explicit romance instead of hot steamy smut.

Just my opinion. Keep writing!......Carney

Thanks for the input. I'm still trying to find a happy medium between unrealistic smut and Harlequin.

I have four stories under my belt, with two of them still pending. I think I may push my next one towards the smuttier side and see what happens.

Hard to believe over 8000 people have at least clicked the link to my first story... and it has a 4.4 rating... I guess that's good. I am going to keep working on this.

 

[sunandshadow]

Well, I personally prefer steamy romance and character development to quickie wank stories, but from that perspective I didn't get a very good sense of your characters, either what they looked like or what their personalities were. And one of my personal rules is, the first three paragraphs need to have at least one strong emotion in them: Lust, longing, humor, fury, angst, whatever, but if there's no emotion it's boring. Unless possibly it's some fucking cool worldbuilding or an interesting problem the character needs to solve, but even then there better be some emotion in the first 10 paragraphs.

 

[RicoLouis]

Not bad, The characthers come off a little plain to me in the virgins. they meet and they have sex. There isn't any time for actually romance. Drivers ed was more of the same. Though I really disliked the guy in that one. Though that is usually the type of guy who the girls go for. Like how you got around the age rule since technically the charachters would be fifthteen if they where taking drivers ed.