new writer in town...

[emerald_68]

hey everyone!! I am new to this place, and new to publishing what I write when it comes to "short stories"

I have 3 stories that I have had posted here in the past few weeks and I would love to get some feedback from readers and other writers. I have a hard time sharing what I write, so to me, this is a HUGE step...LOL and I appreciate all the help I can get.

Please, Let me know what you think? and where I can find YOU, so that I can check out YOUR work (considering signing up as an editor) - Thank you very much

~M~

An Afternoon at the beach (a fantasy)http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=266269

Back alley bang - (what I'd love to do to someone)
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=268594

Into the Darkness - (my first Black and Blue ball experience)
http://english.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=267661

 

[kbate]

Afternoon at the beach...

I stopped reading when I found the following in para 1:

This afternoon, the distance crashing of waves lulled me into a light doze. The secluded beach made it easy for me to relax. Located nearly in my back yard, I loved it's easy availability. The best part was that clothes are always optional.

This isn't ready for complete review.

 

[CopyCarver]

You seem to be doing better with plotting and characterization than with mechanics. Athough the latter may seem trivial--and may actually be trivial--typos, tense errors, punctuation gaffes, etc. can ruin a story for many readers. You, your stories, and your readers would probably all be happier if you spent a few minutes giving your stories a good proofreading.

 

[emerald_68]

thank you both...

This is what I need to hear - I am currently re-writing with your comments in mind...I hope it hadnt turned you off of checking to see how I am doing.

Thank you again,
~M~

 

[Flashlight7.5]

Uh...

I skimmed through "Back Alley Bang." Get rid of all the adverbs. Check your spelling and grammar, too.

You do fine in the description department, but I'm not sure if what you've written is the beginning, middle, or end of a story. Two of the three elements are missing.

flash