New to Dominance...
- Thread starter Daxaeha
- Start date
Stella_Omega
No Gentleman
- Joined
- Jul 14, 2005
- Posts
- 39,700
it sounds so romantic! 
How is it going?
Umm... don't be afraid to tell her to teach you. It's a service she can do for you.
How is it going?
Umm... don't be afraid to tell her to teach you. It's a service she can do for you.
KlaytonFrost
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- May 1, 2012
- Posts
- 519
Agreed. Ask her what she likes or what she's done with previous partners. Communication is as important as ever.
Kinky websites can also be a good place to look for inspiration. Make sure you're comfortable with anything new you try and know the risks.
Kinky websites can also be a good place to look for inspiration. Make sure you're comfortable with anything new you try and know the risks.
leighannste17
Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 10, 2012
- Posts
- 66
In life i'm more submissive. But i'm actually somewhat dominant in the bedroom. If she has more experience in this field, then let her guide you with it. She may not be the right match for you if your both submissive. But I could be wrong.
Good luck!
Good luck!
Last edited:
nisha_in61
Literotica Guru
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- Mar 17, 2011
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- 968
Told his dad? He should be so embarrassed, I guess.
First rule: Move at your own pace. In fact, insist on it. Strongly. This can play out into some lovely teasing sessions, and an excuse to restrain her ("If you can't keep your hands off me, I'm going to tie them to the headboard." etc.)
Second rule: Do not talk about fight club.
Third rule: Plan to be spontaneous. I don't think I can make it any clearer than that.
Fourth rule: Don't be afraid to give her vague commands. "Dress sexy", "Show me what a good slut you are", "Pleasure me" (that's a favorite.)
Fifth rule: Have fun! It's why you're there!
Second rule: Do not talk about fight club.
Third rule: Plan to be spontaneous. I don't think I can make it any clearer than that.
Fourth rule: Don't be afraid to give her vague commands. "Dress sexy", "Show me what a good slut you are", "Pleasure me" (that's a favorite.)
Fifth rule: Have fun! It's why you're there!
Sir_Winston54
Assume the position!
- Joined
- Jul 15, 2004
- Posts
- 14,027
Your first "rule" actually makes a little sense, unlike most of the rest of them.
#2 - Really? You quote a second-rate (even for Brad Pitt) movie? I call pure bullshit! See the below multi-quotes' bolded section(s). Effective communication is a paramount concern in ANY interpersonal relationship, let alone one that can involve "instruments of torture (as I saw floggers, etc., described in a news article once)," bruises, tears, etc.
#3 - "Plan" to be spontaneous is a bit of an oxymoron, but maybe you thought you were being funny. The OP wasn't looking for just-past-adolescence humor, though; she was looking for considerered advice from people who have been through similar situations to try to make this relationship work. (One can, however, *prepare* to be spontaneous, e.g., having S/m toys handily available {not locked in a closet somewhere} if they're suddenly desired at a particular moment.)
#4 - Back to communication again. Vague commands like those you offered as examples can and often will be perceived as an invitation to fail to please the PYL appropriately. IF one wants to use this type of interaction, it should be made clear from the beginning that no specific outcome is projected by the PYL, and what the PYL is mostly seeking is the sense that the pyl is doing his/her best in trying to meet the PYL's needs/desires.
#5 is okay, presuming you intended the unsaid "You" (both sentences) to be plural.
it sounds so romantic!
How is it going?
Umm... don't be afraid to tell her to teach you. It's a service she can do for you.
kiwi_submissive
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2010
- Posts
- 3,490
Practice makes perfect (well a close approximation of it anyway).
Go to Munches etc in your area and talk to people who are experienced about how they got to where they are, ask for suggestions to help you get where you want to be and most of all realise that everyone started somewhere and it's really a case of finding what makes you comfortable and doing alot of homework in regards to safety.
Please don't go into D frenzy though where you think you are Super D, albiet it is funny to watch a guy wandering around with a brand new flogger and no idea how to use it and seems to think that no one has ever done what he is doing and that he invented the wheel.
Communication and feedback with your sub is really important, if you only want to do something that she doesn't really like then she may stay around for six months or so but eventually she will have had enough and move on.
Go to Munches etc in your area and talk to people who are experienced about how they got to where they are, ask for suggestions to help you get where you want to be and most of all realise that everyone started somewhere and it's really a case of finding what makes you comfortable and doing alot of homework in regards to safety.
Please don't go into D frenzy though where you think you are Super D, albiet it is funny to watch a guy wandering around with a brand new flogger and no idea how to use it and seems to think that no one has ever done what he is doing and that he invented the wheel.
Communication and feedback with your sub is really important, if you only want to do something that she doesn't really like then she may stay around for six months or so but eventually she will have had enough and move on.
