New to bdsm

[RCMGUY]

Hello everyone I’m sorta new here and trying to explore myself and have landed in the world of bdsm. Can anybody give me any trick, tips, or anything I should try.

 

[TarnishedPenny]

I’d suggest you read here, both forum and stories. If you already have a partner, ideally read together or at least compare notes. (It goes without saying that they have to be onside.)

See what pleases you (BDSM is a way big tent and not everything is for everybody). Then investigate further, experiment.

Lastly, always always always, it’s ‘Safe, Sane and Consensual’.

 

[RCMGUY]

Thank you very much I will look into that

 

[Lady2020]

I guess it depends on your age. Don't rush it. Take the time to learn what bdsm is before you present yourself as an Alpha, Dom, Master, etc.

 

[SissySalina]

Welcome to the wonderful world.
If you are just starting and interested you should state what you think would interest you most.
Do you wish to be to giver or receiver or even a switch? Ropes or chains? Whips and floggers or spread eagle?
There is a lot to choose from.

 

[cocktaildress21]

Tips and tricks?

If you take away the leather and the whips, bdsm is essentially indistinguishable from other sex.

Now, while that's not entirely true, it's a healthy mindset to start out with. Don't get to thinking that the Dom has all the control, or that the sub has to enjoy the things you do, or else - or any of the other porn-induced babble you've likely heard.

Bdsm begins and ends with respect. You need to respect the subs wishes, limits and desires - and that respect needs to be earned.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Not all BDSM involves leather and whips, of course. The heart of BDSM is power exchange. The degree of the power exchange varies based on the participants’ desires. Some exchange power 24/7, others in the bedroom during playtime only, and everything in between. Many kinks are associated with BDSM, but can also certainly exist outside of a BDSM relationship.

Where to start? I think you’ve come to a great place to get started. There are a LOT of amazing, highly detailed discussions to be read in the BDSM Library; I’d highly recommend perusing the thread titles there and seeing if anything strikes your fancy. The continuum of BDSM is just so long and varied that it’s hard to give general advice, except...

There are two VERY important acronyms to keep at the forefront: SSC and RACK. SSC stands for Safe, Sane, and Consensual. RACK is for Risk Aware Consensual Kink. Consent, of course, being of the utmost importance. Without informed consent, it’s very easy to cross the line into abuse, despite intentions. Communication and consent are absolutely essential.

Welcome to Lit, btw

 

[Primalex]

Tips and tricks?

If you take away the leather and the whips, bdsm is essentially indistinguishable from other sex.

Lesson #1:
The S in BDSM does not stand for sex.

 

[Lady2020]

ToPleaseHim. Ditto. It's about the power exchange.

Are you willing to negotiate power with your partner? If not, why not?

 

[KimGordon67]

Communication.

If you have a partner, doing the bdsm test together would be an interesting way of discovering some things about each other. (There's a link to the site in my signature. It's totally safe.)

 

[IrisAlthea]

Hello everyone I’m sorta new here and trying to explore myself and have landed in the world of bdsm. Can anybody give me any trick, tips, or anything I should try.

I kind of depends on why you landed in the world of BDSM. It can be all about the kinky sex on occasion to a way to structure your relationships without ever having anything to do with leather and whips.

Knowing very little from your OP makes it hard to gice you ideas on where to stary. Starting with what first caught your interest might be a good idea, but if for you that is some upside down suspension, then please don’t start there but find the first baby steps to getting there.

Learn about safety from good sources and make sure you communicate and discuss risks with partners so you can be sure everyone involved is aware of risks and that there is informed consent.
Everyone involved still needs to be a responsible adult and it can be a bit of a challenge in front of a chest full of new shiny toys - literal or virtual toys.

 

[FaviolaBrockied]

Having a safe word and setting boundaries from the start is the key to being safe. Also, as a tip on how to initiate a session, I can say what worked for me, maybe you'll find it helpful. I got one of these harnesses https://anoeses.com/uk/collections/harness Personally I'm into the more restrictive ones, but there are a lot of nice options there, give them a look. Let me just say, it's been amazing ever since. It was the first purchase that I made in this direction, but there were many more to come since then. Just be safe!

 

[HusbandNextD00r]

Let it happen organically. Don’t feel you have to fit under specific labels. Many of us had these natural tendencies before we knew others had defined them. Read, experience, and know that change happens in the fringe. Take care of your partner. Listen to her, guide, mentor, and reward.