New to BDSM, Guidance Needed

[Kitt_e_Katt_za]

Hi there from Sunny South Africa
I was wondering if someone could help with help advise, I'm completely new to everything and trying to make sense of a few things.
1. If I'm incredibly stressed I battle to orgasm from masturbation, any advice or tips
2. How do you know if your a true submissive?
Looking forward to sharing some ideas and hopefully find some answers

 

[Bramblethorn]

#2: It might be more helpful to ask yourself "what kind of submissive am I?", followed by "what kind of submissive is this person looking for?"

The idea that there's one true kind of submissive, and anything outside that makes you a Fake Sub Girl, probably isn't particularly helpful. Dom/mes who think there's only one correct way to be a sub, and that if you're a True Sub you will just instinctively know what your dom requires.

Some people like to be humiliated, called awful names by their partner and made to lick boots. Others like pain. Others like to cook and clean for a dom who treats them like a beloved servant. Some like combinations of those things. It's all valid. Everybody has their preferences, and one person's preferences might not match up with another's. People need to talk to figure out whether they're the right kind of D and s for one another.

"If you were a true submissive you would..." is generally a manipulation tactic.

 

[Kitt_e_Katt_za]

Oh my word thank you
That makes so much sense
Thank you for taking the time to post

 

[Bramblethorn]

Dom/mes who think there's only one correct way to be a sub, and that if you're a True Sub you will just instinctively know what your dom requires.

Whoops, meant to say "are best ignored" here. And the edit post functionality seems to be broken for me just now.