MY name is slave C. My husband is my Dom. We have been casually living the BDSM lifestyle. We have read Screw the Roses and The story of O. We also have the movie The Secretary. We still have many questions. Especially me. I have discovered that I am a natural submissive. I would rather put up with something than say NO. I enjoy pleasing others, especially my master. Because of our hectic lifestyle we have a difficult time finding time for good sessions. How can I stay submissive without them? Also, my master wants me to get my nipples pierced. Ouch!!. I have heard many things about this subject. Are there any long time disadvantages? Also, I have heard that depending on where you pierce the nipple, the nipple will stay erect and sensitive or not. I am in my 40's and I dont want this to be just a midlife thing. Something I will regret later. Like a tatoo. But, that's another thing he wants done. If anyone out there has any advice for a new, nervous sub Please let me know. Submissively yours. C
new submissive
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catalina_francisco
Happily insatiable always
- Joined
- Jul 29, 2002
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- 18,730
I think everyone's exerience of the lifestyle is different, as is the degree to which they wish it to infiltrate their day to day living. For us submission is not about sessions, though they are an added bonus when time permits. As we live a 24/7 lifestyle the submission is something that underpins everything as in it is a mindset more than just an action. That works for some people, not for others. I don't think it ever means it is going to be easy 100% of the time, or the submission and dominance are going to be blatently obvious and felt by those involved every minute, but it is there. For us it is because it is a constant thing that it sometimes doesn't seem that way...tends to just become part of everyday life and form the basis for how things are done.
As to piercings and tattoos and later regrets...that is something you both have to decide for yourselves. It also depends on whether you have a choice in these things or whether you can say no. Both these areas need research and good advice before jumping into though, especially if there is a chance there could be health concerns which may affect the outcomes.
Catalina
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As to piercings and tattoos and later regrets...that is something you both have to decide for yourselves. It also depends on whether you have a choice in these things or whether you can say no. Both these areas need research and good advice before jumping into though, especially if there is a chance there could be health concerns which may affect the outcomes.
Catalina
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LunarKitten
moo says the mommie cow
- Joined
- May 23, 2002
- Posts
- 19,379
slave C said:
Welcome to the boards.
As for helping to stay submissive without having a lot of time to play....well, in my mind anyway, the two are seperate things all together. I love it when Master and I have time alone to have long, loud playtimes, but we have things we do everyday to help remind me where my place is in our life. I try to always call him Sir or Master, when we eat I serve him first, I sit at his feet as often as possible.
Now, as for the nipple piercing
I agree, OUCH!!! Luckily, Master says I'm not allowed lol The nipples would be out of commission for at least six months and that is simply unacceptable in his book *whew!* Plus, I hear that if not kept probably cleaned and aired, they easily become infected Or, if they get pierced in the wrong spot, the nerves die (My big thing is messing up the milk ducts though)
Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2000
- Posts
- 13,101
Aeroil said:
I've heard that as well. According to my pet, the double piercings on his nipples were quite painful to do.
Silverlily
Kitty Mama - East Coast
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2000
- Posts
- 13,101
Aeroil said:
We met on the tail end of the healing period. Still, they are very sensitive.
piercing
After reading about the amount of time my nipples would be down, my master has decided he prefers tatoos. I personally think the piercing would be prettier but, I still have problems with the submissive stage right now. Hopefully, my master will take care of that problem.
After reading about the amount of time my nipples would be down, my master has decided he prefers tatoos. I personally think the piercing would be prettier but, I still have problems with the submissive stage right now. Hopefully, my master will take care of that problem.
After reading about the amount of time his nipples would be unavailable my master has decided he prefers tatoos. I, however, think the piercings would be prettier. Im still having problems being submissive at times. Hopefully, master will take care of this problem for me.
FungiUg
Waves at Cats
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2001
- Posts
- 10,242
Nipple piercings do take a fair amount of time to heal, it's true. Apparently clit piercings heal much faster.
The advantage of piercings over tattoos is that you can take out the piercings if they are not working, and let things heal over. A tattoo is much harder to get rid of.
The advantage of piercings over tattoos is that you can take out the piercings if they are not working, and let things heal over. A tattoo is much harder to get rid of.
Despina
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2004
- Posts
- 254
I had my nipples pierced around Thanksgiving of last year and was quite pleased with how quickly they healed. I had my navel done several years back and it took far longer to heal. My advice would be to go for the nipple piercings over the tatt for the same reasons FungiUg stated. I also feel that tattoos are far more personal/permanent than piercings. If you're still interested in the piercings but would like more information, feel free to PM me. I got quite a bit of conflicting information from friends of friends as well as many websites, but had an amazing piercer and feel like I got through it much better than others. Whatever you decide, Good Luck.
~D
~D
newsub1977
Really Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2005
- Posts
- 417
A similar situation
slave C.
I just wanted to say Hi. Apart from the fact that I am male and you are female, it sounds like we have much in common. I have very ventured down the path of a dominant/submissive relationship with my wife, and I know it can be traumatic in the very early stages. I am certainly going through that right now. It also seems difficult to determine if the d/s roles are something that can be turned on and off, or if they are there as part of everyday life as they seem to be for our friends here on Lit. I know it is something my wife and I struggle with. As for the tat/piercing, my mistress (ie wife) wants me to get a tattoo, but she is still looking into it.
Anyway, good luck with the lifestyle and I hope it works out for you and your master.
newsub.
slave C.
I just wanted to say Hi. Apart from the fact that I am male and you are female, it sounds like we have much in common. I have very ventured down the path of a dominant/submissive relationship with my wife, and I know it can be traumatic in the very early stages. I am certainly going through that right now. It also seems difficult to determine if the d/s roles are something that can be turned on and off, or if they are there as part of everyday life as they seem to be for our friends here on Lit. I know it is something my wife and I struggle with. As for the tat/piercing, my mistress (ie wife) wants me to get a tattoo, but she is still looking into it.
Anyway, good luck with the lifestyle and I hope it works out for you and your master.
newsub.
coyotepondering
Guilded Pervert
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2003
- Posts
- 3,012
Everyone's experience is different. My slave and I met with both of us already being in the lifestyle so it has always been part of our dynamic.
I would think that if you are transititioning from a non-power exchange relationship to one it would be easy to fall back on the non-M/s roles. I wouldn't take this as a major crisis, just something that has to be worked on. Even in established 24/7 relationships you will find times you aren't "on." Its called being a human being.
The true essence of a M/s relationship isn't the rituals though, those are reminders. The true M/s relationship is defined by the intent and bond between the participants that persists no matter what, when or where. Finding those rituals is important though. To me one of the most important is the collar and collaring.
lunar and I searched for one that looked like jewelry while still being very much a collar because she is not allowed to take it off and thus wears it all times. It is one such reminder as are dozens of little habits or rituals we have. When you can find ones that you can do in your life in front of family and friends stay aware of them. Don't take them for granted and you will find the M/s relationship happy.
Of course, I think much the same could be said for keeping romance alive in a marriage ...
I would think that if you are transititioning from a non-power exchange relationship to one it would be easy to fall back on the non-M/s roles. I wouldn't take this as a major crisis, just something that has to be worked on. Even in established 24/7 relationships you will find times you aren't "on." Its called being a human being.
The true essence of a M/s relationship isn't the rituals though, those are reminders. The true M/s relationship is defined by the intent and bond between the participants that persists no matter what, when or where. Finding those rituals is important though. To me one of the most important is the collar and collaring.
lunar and I searched for one that looked like jewelry while still being very much a collar because she is not allowed to take it off and thus wears it all times. It is one such reminder as are dozens of little habits or rituals we have. When you can find ones that you can do in your life in front of family and friends stay aware of them. Don't take them for granted and you will find the M/s relationship happy.
Of course, I think much the same could be said for keeping romance alive in a marriage ...
schmerzgarten
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2005
- Posts
- 104
A few notes to double-piercing nipples, etc...
As Mistress Lily gave me permission to participate in this forum, I thought I might add a few thoughts which may be of value to some on this topic. All together, including those that have flopped out or otherwise went missing - I've been permanently pierced 22 times. Currently, I have 6 upper ladder piercings, 5 lower, 1 guiche, and both nipples are double-pierced. Please note, this listing should not give anyone to believe that I consider myself an expert nor extreme, at least based on the body-modifications I've seen. Of those listed, the rear second piercings to the nipples were by far the most difficult, though are also gradually becoming the most fun. Now, as yet another disclaimer, I did have a top friend once joke that she thought she could cut my nipples clean off, stitch them back on, and collect the pre-cum. That was definitely an exaggeration, but nonetheless I'm probably not the best source of information for most people. That said, I would suggest the following:
1. If BDSM predisposed, do the piercings within the context of a scene - it is much more meaningful and fun.
2. Simply maintain good hygiene, that is, don't become a fussy cleaner.
3. This one is for the masochists: Yes, I know you are simply gushy enjoying the constraint sensations, but don't fiddle and be communicative to your dominant about playing with said piercings until you heal. You'll be much more fun afterwards and won't have to deal with rejection and infection.
4. Lastly, for those feeling timid, I never cease to find amusement with those who enjoy crops, canes, or wax-play, but express fear of piercing. If you can do the aforementioned, you most certainly can get pierced. As a point of humor, someone with a burning candle is enough to make me want to run straight through a wall, or knock myself out trying.
Best, sg
As Mistress Lily gave me permission to participate in this forum, I thought I might add a few thoughts which may be of value to some on this topic. All together, including those that have flopped out or otherwise went missing - I've been permanently pierced 22 times. Currently, I have 6 upper ladder piercings, 5 lower, 1 guiche, and both nipples are double-pierced. Please note, this listing should not give anyone to believe that I consider myself an expert nor extreme, at least based on the body-modifications I've seen. Of those listed, the rear second piercings to the nipples were by far the most difficult, though are also gradually becoming the most fun. Now, as yet another disclaimer, I did have a top friend once joke that she thought she could cut my nipples clean off, stitch them back on, and collect the pre-cum. That was definitely an exaggeration, but nonetheless I'm probably not the best source of information for most people. That said, I would suggest the following:
1. If BDSM predisposed, do the piercings within the context of a scene - it is much more meaningful and fun.
2. Simply maintain good hygiene, that is, don't become a fussy cleaner.
3. This one is for the masochists: Yes, I know you are simply gushy enjoying the constraint sensations, but don't fiddle and be communicative to your dominant about playing with said piercings until you heal. You'll be much more fun afterwards and won't have to deal with rejection and infection.
4. Lastly, for those feeling timid, I never cease to find amusement with those who enjoy crops, canes, or wax-play, but express fear of piercing. If you can do the aforementioned, you most certainly can get pierced. As a point of humor, someone with a burning candle is enough to make me want to run straight through a wall, or knock myself out trying.
Best, sg
mithragoddess
Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2005
- Posts
- 38
Hey Slave C
I want to get my nipples pierced myself and I want to get tattoos as well. (I dont know if anyone else pointed this out) But sometimes it depends on the direction the nipple is being pierced. Up and down is a good way to go, though i will agree with a previous post, keep em clean and away from infection and they will be fine. Up and down keeps em sensitive (in a good way) and mostly hard, which isnt necissarily a bad thing (at least with me.) But yeah, just dont have any serious tugging and stuff on em for a few months and you should be fine.
K
I want to get my nipples pierced myself and I want to get tattoos as well. (I dont know if anyone else pointed this out) But sometimes it depends on the direction the nipple is being pierced. Up and down is a good way to go, though i will agree with a previous post, keep em clean and away from infection and they will be fine. Up and down keeps em sensitive (in a good way) and mostly hard, which isnt necissarily a bad thing (at least with me.) But yeah, just dont have any serious tugging and stuff on em for a few months and you should be fine.
K
