New sub, advice?

[Jaden_alucard]

Hi
Im really new to this, im not sure what to say. but hear it goes. recently ive found out that im a sub. I guess what they call a life style sub. ide like to meet a female dom, for discussion or maybe more. (toronto canada) I’m not into a lot of pain, mostly just control, I like to be owned. im not sure how to meet people like this... if some one has advice on what I can do, could you email me? if you have questions I can ancer them.

 

[DarkSteven]

My first piece of advice is to tell more about yourself. How old are you, etc. And I assume that you are male?

My second piece of advice is to not rush in, but take your time. Try to speak with other subs and learn from them. Perhaps try submitting online before meeting face to face.

 

[Jaden_alucard]

ancers.

I think that would be a good idea. I guess to tell you more. Im 28. Male. I meet a woman recently that brought me out.. It’s like there was some thing missing from my life. Well due to emotion problems at home, (she married) she had to let me lose... I can’t go back to the way I was... just cant. I have to be owned. I want a female owner preferably less then 35 im not into pain. Or scat. or any thing that will get me arrested. but im vary loyal, and always tell the truth 100% I don’t mind being tested. im sure many people aren’t like I am. I don’t like to feel im one of many... but im flexable on that.

 

[Enji]

I think that would be a good idea. I guess to tell you more. Im 28. Male. I meet a woman recently that brought me out.. It’s like there was some thing missing from my life. Well due to emotion problems at home, (she married) she had to let me lose... I can’t go back to the way I was... just cant. I have to be owned. I want a female owner preferably less then 35 im not into pain. Or scat. or any thing that will get me arrested. but im vary loyal, and always tell the truth 100% I don’t mind being tested. im sure many people aren’t like I am. I don’t like to feel im one of many... but im flexable on that.

sigh..remove your email put it into your profile..it's adgaist the rules... your starting off well, telling people more about you. At least you said your male, which means alot of male doms might not pm you lol
good luck with your search

 

[createashemale]

Rule #1: You will not get to make any rules

I think that would be a good idea. I guess to tell you more. Im 28. Male. I meet a woman recently that brought me out.. It’s like there was some thing missing from my life. Well due to emotion problems at home, (she married) she had to let me lose... I can’t go back to the way I was... just cant. I have to be owned. I want a female owner preferably less then 35 im not into pain. Or scat. or any thing that will get me arrested. but im vary loyal, and always tell the truth 100% I don’t mind being tested. im sure many people aren’t like I am. I don’t like to feel im one of many... but im flexable on that.

You may hope that whomever may be interested in determining if you have what it takes to serve them is not into pain, but I certainly have never met a real Dominant person who did not enjoy inflicting pain of some type, whether it was worry, physical pain, psychological torture, or other types of discomforts. Although I am not Dominant, I can tell you that power does derive also from the discomfort of others, or the fear of the same. You are in fact one of many, so much like so many people who have yet to discover your true nature. Always be honest and always do as you are told. If you can do these last two things on a consistent basis, you will be off to an honorable start at least.

 

[BedtimeStories77]

Re: Rule #1: You will not get to make any rules

You may hope that whomever may be interested in determining if you have what it takes to serve them is not into pain, but I certainly have never met a real Dominant person who did not enjoy inflicting pain of some type, whether it was worry, physical pain, psychological torture, or other types of discomforts. Although I am not Dominant, I can tell you that power does derive also from the discomfort of others, or the fear of the same. You are in fact one of many, so much like so many people who have yet to discover your true nature. Always be honest and always do as you are told. If you can do these last two things on a consistent basis, you will be off to an honorable start at least.

I beg to differ with you. Anyone who doesn't believe that the sub truly holds the power within a D/s relationship either does not understand BDSM or does not practice Safely, Sanely, or Consensually.

To date I have never met a Dom/me that did not respect my limits. Of course, if ever I do, I'm sure they will kill me, if not harm me greatly. (And, if they do not succeed in killing me, they'll learn the hard way how to respect other humans!)

Sadomasochism, BDSM, and D/s are about respect. To enter such a relationship with someone is to respect and trust them wholly.


Jaden, first of all, welcome to Lit. I hope you enjoy your stay here and find what you are looking for!

Secondly, while a personal ad is a good way to go, I suggest also checking out the BDSM "chat" (discussion) board we have here at Lit. It is full of some good people and advice. Also, if you type in "BDSM", "Sadomasochism", "Sadist", "masochist" or other keyworlds you'll learn on the way many web sites and pages will come up for you.

Take things slowly and above all, always trust your gut. As you learn what you're comfortable with, and what you're not, I suggest that you make your limits known to other before meeting in person and before any scene.

 

[createashemale]

Opinions: Every Person Has One

I beg to differ with you. Anyone who doesn't believe that the sub truly holds the power within a D/s relationship either does not understand BDSM or does not practice Safely, Sanely, or Consensually.

The world of Dominance and Submission is as wide and varied as the type of people who live in it. I beg to differ with you in your belief that the "sub truly holds the power". Easy to say if you are not restrained when you make the statement. Safe, Sane, and Consensual relations are a bargain struck, and every person has the ability to choose to enter into a relationship based on its terms, or not.

Jaden, the opinions on this board are wide and varied, and although many of the long-timers would like to believe that their views are the only ones that contain accurate information or hold sway, that simply is not the case. Just as what I may write to you on this board, although it is a valid opinon, does not necessarily mean that its content has relavence, or is of importance to you. In regards to the Literotica bulletin boards themselves, you will find a wide range of information and opinion, and some great stories too!

If someone gives you a piece of information, do research on the matter yourself, then decide if it is important to you. Be very careful in your interactions with people online, and always make certain that before you meet someone in person with whom you first made contact with on the internet, that you have made plans for your security and safety. If you meet someone you find is pressuring you to do things that you are not ready for, let them know, then decide if you wish to continue to communicate with or see that person.

Once again, let me emphasize that there are some fantastic people here. But do not be fooled into believing that just because someone has made 500 or 1,000 posts to this bulletin board, that is means they actually know what they are talking about. Opinions are not measured by a counter or scoreboard; they are individually just one person's ideas or thoughts, and not much more.