New Story

[Latina]

I have a new story, Tropical Paradise, based on our recent one-week vacation. I don't know when it will actually show up on Literotica, but in the meantime, I've also put it on my own web site:

http://www.geocities.com/latina_tales/paradise.html

Hope you all like it.

-- Latina

 

[Guest]

I was turned off by the pictures.

Sorry.

 

[Natural Born Eros]

I must agree with chilled vodka - I didn't much like the photos either. I do like the story - its a much simpler story than most that get posted here, just normal sex, which I rather like. Its also cool that it is apparently true.

There are a few things about the style that I found a bit frustrating. I feel like you are doing too much of the work for us - there are lots of italics, lots of capitals, and lots of phrases like "he moaned," "I cried," and so on. I think that whilst use of these techniques in moderation can be useful, the over-use in this story doesn't allow any imagination. Be suggestive, be subtle, leave things unsaid. I think most readers prefer that. It is also a bit long for me - I sort of skipped through the second half. If you are going to write something that lengthy, I would split it into chapters.

Hope this helps, cheers,

Eros

 

[KingDingaling]

hot story sick pics

 

[Latina]

Thanks, all, for the feedback.

I thought the photos from our trip might make the story seem more real, but I guess people would rather use their imaginations, so I removed the photos. I also reread the story and remembered some details I had forgotten, and put them in, such as the Wizard of Oz ztuff. Again, the story is at:

http://www.geocities.com/latina_tales/paradise.html

I think it gets a little bit better with each rewrite. Your feedback has really helped. Trouble is, reereading the story and remembering these events has left me here at my computer, alone and so very horny, don't now what to do about that. He won't be home for HOURS yet.

-- Latina