New Story I created..

[katalynn]

This is alittle different from what I have been making. Please tell let me know what you think. I personally think it's cool, But seeing how it's not what i'm used, I like to get some more opinions on it.

Thank you,

 

[dr_mabeuse]

I notice you say you "created" the story rather than you'd "written" it. That's fine, but I think you need a writer to help you put it down on paper.

Personally, the mechanics are so bad that I couldn't read it. The whole piece is just one long paragraph, there are a lot of wrong words and usages, and a lot of the sentences make no sense. Youreally need to develop basic English skills or get a very patient editor.

---dr.M.

 

[katalynn]

Well ok story I * wrote * then. Didn't think either one would matter. Word I use that is.

So you think this one is bad huh, hmm I know i've never been all that great with grammer. As for making sense well I guess I'll have to work on it some more.

Thanx for the comment.

 

[katalynn]

LOL OMG ok forget this this whole thread hehe,

Hell I just printed that one paper and so on, and well I know for a SERIOUS fact that I can do sooooooo much better. So with that note I am going to give it a complete make over. Mainly what my biggest problem was, It was just way to choppy.

This story needs help so forget what is written here. hehehe,.

Katalynn,

 

[Guest]

LOL OMG ok forget this this whole thread hehe,

Hell I just printed that one paper and so on, and well I know for a SERIOUS fact that I can do sooooooo much better. So with that note I am going to give it a complete make over. Mainly what my biggest problem was, It was just way to choppy.

This story needs help so forget what is written here. hehehe,.

Katalynn,

you go girl!!!