New Story Feedback

[DanDraper]

My new story was published today. I've been working on it for a couple of months before I submitted it. I wanted to see what some of you think of it.

It's about an alternate world where husbands can sell off their marriages to their wives to other men who are looking for wives themselves. There's an explanation in the beginning of how it works in this kind of world.

"Wife Commerce Act"
https://www.literotica.com/s/wife-commerce-act


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[JackBellend41]

I can tell you put a lot of thought into the laws of your alt world, and I think your story got lost in details and explanation. IMO, you could have cut out all the descriptions before the lunch conversation and improved the story. It’s an interesting premise, but you did so much explaining that I lost interest and your story lost the opportunity for surprise.