New Question for anyone...

[DomNQuestion]

I am a Dom in a D/s relationship with my wife. She has another Dom she sees regularly as well. Well, within the past week we have agreed to find another female and/or male sub to bring into the fold. (We just finished working out issues between myself and the other Domme) Without even having the opportunity to look for another party, one of the former Dommes to my wife has expressed that he is "highly" interested (he is switch) into exploring his sub side and wants to do whatever I (not necessarily her) see fit. He particularly seems interested in being dominated by myself although he admits that his "former sub" (my wife/sub) could also be in charge.

Here in lies my dilemma.

1. I am not bi. I don't mind interaction and I definately enjoy the power, but strictly male on male partnership is not my thing.

2. My wife/sub is having a hard time coping (although she is a bit intrigued about role playing a bit to see if anything happens she likes) with the fact a former Domme of hers now wants her Dom(me) to be in charge of him as well as her being in charge of him.

This question should be a complex one, but I have a feeling that some on here can make it easier than I am with how to handle this.....

I know what I am comfortable with and we have all agreed that lines will be drawn with open communication, but I was wondering if everyone thought it would be a good idea to head down this path and if so with what parameters? I know people have to find what works best with themselves.... but this just seems like unknown waters that a bit farther than I use to.

Thanks,
DomNQuestion

PS. My pet and I also believe we have found someone to become a female sub who my pet and I are both interested in. Are we taking too much on at once with her having another Dom, another possible female sub, and the male sub we are bringing in? This just seems like a HOLE lot. It would be greatly appreciated if anyone out there has any open-minded advice. Please let me know.

 

[Cattypuss]

OK, I'm getting very confused about who's a woman (Domme) and who's a man (Dom) here...

 

[FurryFury]

That all sounds really complicated. It also sounds like you don't really want to be a Dom or whatever to the former Dom of your wife. So just say no.

 

[Netzach]

I am a Dom in a D/s relationship with my wife. She has another Dom she sees regularly as well. Well, within the past week we have agreed to find another female and/or male sub to bring into the fold. (We just finished working out issues between myself and the other Domme) Without even having the opportunity to look for another party, one of the former Dommes to my wife has expressed that he is "highly" interested (he is switch) into exploring his sub side and wants to do whatever I (not necessarily her) see fit. He particularly seems interested in being dominated by myself although he admits that his "former sub" (my wife/sub) could also be in charge.

Here in lies my dilemma.

1. I am not bi. I don't mind interaction and I definately enjoy the power, but strictly male on male partnership is not my thing.

2. My wife/sub is having a hard time coping (although she is a bit intrigued about role playing a bit to see if anything happens she likes) with the fact a former Domme of hers now wants her Dom(me) to be in charge of him as well as her being in charge of him.

This question should be a complex one, but I have a feeling that some on here can make it easier than I am with how to handle this.....

I know what I am comfortable with and we have all agreed that lines will be drawn with open communication, but I was wondering if everyone thought it would be a good idea to head down this path and if so with what parameters? I know people have to find what works best with themselves.... but this just seems like unknown waters that a bit farther than I use to.

Thanks,
DomNQuestion

PS. My pet and I also believe we have found someone to become a female sub who my pet and I are both interested in. Are we taking too much on at once with her having another Dom, another possible female sub, and the male sub we are bringing in? This just seems like a HOLE lot. It would be greatly appreciated if anyone out there has any open-minded advice. Please let me know.

Wait, you just *may* have ironed out difficulties and you are adding another person this week?

There's poly and there's adding people to the mix whenever you don't want to deal with your own issues. Those are two separate issues. It took me literally *years* to add the people to the mix I have added and it still doesn't include "female sub" just because I like pussy and it sounds nice on paper. You need to think about what every new person brings in, including the potential for upheaval. Or just fuck around casually without adding them to the fold, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[DomNQuestion]

Thank You and sorry for the confusion

OK, I'm getting very confused about who's a woman (Domme) and who's a man (Dom) here...

I don't know what I was doing there. Sorry Cattypuss. There are NO Domme's in the equation. Just Doms.

As for me.... not the submissive. Its not my thing. I have tried it and I don't find it as appealing.

 

[DVS]

Why is it people have more than their share of submissives and such, while I don't even have one?



Sorry, just an old and without Dom doing some venting.

 

[midwestyankee]

Why is it people have more than their share of submissives and such, while I don't even have one?



Sorry, just an old and without Dom doing some venting.

Apparently it helps to be mildly clueless and/or incapable of editing one's own work.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Dude...

OK, if I am reading this right, you are a Dominant to your wife, but she has a second Dominant.... This other Dominant suggested that you guys bring on a male as an additional to you... You are also talking about playing with adding a fem...

In all this... you are not happy with the idea of having a male slave...

As the Dominant, you have the right to make the decisions on who gets brought in, not some other Dominant... If you don't feel comfortable dominating a male... don't do it.

As a Dominant, you are the one in charge, not your wife's other Dom...

For myself, no way in hell would a wife/submissive/pyl of mine answer to another Dominant... and even less so would they have any say over my relationship with a pyl.

 

[Bustymagoo]

I am a Dom in a D/s relationship with my wife. She has another Dom she sees regularly as well. Well, within the past week we have agreed to find another female and/or male sub to bring into the fold. (We just finished working out issues between myself and the other Domme) Without even having the opportunity to look for another party, one of the former Dommes to my wife has expressed that he is "highly" interested (he is switch) into exploring his sub side and wants to do whatever I (not necessarily her) see fit. He particularly seems interested in being dominated by myself although he admits that his "former sub" (my wife/sub) could also be in charge.

Here in lies my dilemma.

1. I am not bi. I don't mind interaction and I definately enjoy the power, but strictly male on male partnership is not my thing.

2. My wife/sub is having a hard time coping (although she is a bit intrigued about role playing a bit to see if anything happens she likes) with the fact a former Domme of hers now wants her Dom(me) to be in charge of him as well as her being in charge of him.

This question should be a complex one, but I have a feeling that some on here can make it easier than I am with how to handle this.....

I know what I am comfortable with and we have all agreed that lines will be drawn with open communication, but I was wondering if everyone thought it would be a good idea to head down this path and if so with what parameters? I know people have to find what works best with themselves.... but this just seems like unknown waters that a bit farther than I use to.

Thanks,
DomNQuestion

PS. My pet and I also believe we have found someone to become a female sub who my pet and I are both interested in. Are we taking too much on at once with her having another Dom, another possible female sub, and the male sub we are bringing in? This just seems like a HOLE lot. It would be greatly appreciated if anyone out there has any open-minded advice. Please let me know.

For some reason, there is a only two
sentences that really stick out to me and I thought I bring up.

1. You and you PYL just worked out issues with your open relationship.
Are you sure your ready to bring others in again so soon?
I've never had a open/poly relationship, but I imagine they can be emotionally complex. Is your relationship ready to add anothers emotions, and any this might bring up?

2. In question to the male sub. First, aside from the issues your wife may experience, I understand you are not bi. But is this play involving "physical sex in a form your uncomfortable with? I don't believe that you have to have any sexual acts (your uncomfy with) to have both your needs met. It all depends on the peramitors (excuse the spelling) you set up, and what you are looking for.
But don't do anything your not ready or willing to do.

Ok, that's my ten cents!

 

[DVS]

Apparently it helps to be mildly clueless and/or incapable of editing one's own work.

Ah, so that's my problem!

 

[DVS]

I am a Dom in a D/s relationship with my wife. She has another Dom she sees regularly as well. Well, within the past week we have agreed to find another female and/or male sub to bring into the fold. (We just finished working out issues between myself and the other Domme) Without even having the opportunity to look for another party, one of the former Dommes to my wife has expressed that he is "highly" interested (he is switch) into exploring his sub side and wants to do whatever I (not necessarily her) see fit. He particularly seems interested in being dominated by myself although he admits that his "former sub" (my wife/sub) could also be in charge.

Here in lies my dilemma.

1. I am not bi. I don't mind interaction and I definately enjoy the power, but strictly male on male partnership is not my thing.

2. My wife/sub is having a hard time coping (although she is a bit intrigued about role playing a bit to see if anything happens she likes) with the fact a former Domme of hers now wants her Dom(me) to be in charge of him as well as her being in charge of him.

This question should be a complex one, but I have a feeling that some on here can make it easier than I am with how to handle this.....

I know what I am comfortable with and we have all agreed that lines will be drawn with open communication, but I was wondering if everyone thought it would be a good idea to head down this path and if so with what parameters? I know people have to find what works best with themselves.... but this just seems like unknown waters that a bit farther than I use to.

Thanks,
DomNQuestion

PS. My pet and I also believe we have found someone to become a female sub who my pet and I are both interested in. Are we taking too much on at once with her having another Dom, another possible female sub, and the male sub we are bringing in? This just seems like a HOLE lot. It would be greatly appreciated if anyone out there has any open-minded advice. Please let me know.

If I were you, I'd stick to what I like. You can spend your life pleasing and satisfying others, but does that also satisfy you?

You might experiment with other things, just to see if you enjoy them, because some people have to try something before they can say if they like it or not. But you said it yourself...you know what you're comfortable with so if it turns out that you feel weird or are just going through the motions, respectfully bow out. Everybody is different and you can't change who you are, nor who you aren't.

 

[human_male]

Why is it people have more than their share of submissives and such, while I don't even have one?



Sorry, just an old and without Dom doing some venting.

I was just thinking the same thing.

 

[human_male]

If she's not comfortable with it, and you're not comfortable with it then why even consider it? If there are other options why not just find someone else?