New poem

[Sweetwood]

A poem of mine as accepted

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=47905

Please check it out and let me know what you think

Thanks

 

[Sweetwood]

my poem

That sucks!

Laying vulnerable to your touch was not supposed to appear twice at the beginning of the poem.

Any idea why that happened?

 

[WickedEve]

I bet I know what you did. I'll put my title at the top of my poem in word or whatever I'm using. And when I cut and paste it here for submission, the title is cut and pasted too. Then I type in the title at the top and forget that it's also attached to the body of the poem. I always catch mine, because I preview before submitting.
Submit the correct version of this poem as a new submission, with the same title and the word "edit" beside it.

 

[Star At Sunrise]

I liked the poem a lot! It was well done. I would have only pointed out a few things like saying "shaft" or "tow’ring column" because I didn't think they fit. But otherwise I thought it was a very stron poem showing the passion of sex, with a good empathatic description of each partner.

"Your hands with strength
Push my own hands with
Fingers intertwined
Against the sheets beside my head"
* I guess someone could see this as being a little too cliched, but I thought it worked perfectly. A great set of lines.

"Your hips begin to sway
Within the rhythm of your heart
That drums the music of arousal
Like waves of crashing oceans
In your ears"
* I liked this part especially. It reads even better in the context of the poem.


"you and I, I and you
Become completely unadorned"
* Excellent two lines to end it!

Good deal! Thanks for posting your poems!

 

[Guest]

ODE TO DARK STRANGER....
My soul yearns to know you..
to scream out your name
my heart's in despair..
this isnt a game..
Yes there is a fire,
that rages in my soul...
and it's name is Passion..
and I'm in your control..

your strong hands intertwine with my own..
the rhythm of our hearts beating as one...




from your friend Angel...with great admiration