new poem-my first-be kind,lol

[mokingbird]

WISDOM- Mokingbird (non erotic)

All the wisdom my head possesses
disappears when I open my eyes
maybe I've never been wise
maybe I never will be
in my heart I feel I'm on the edge of
some overpowering insight that
will change my path forever
one thing that will allow me to let go
of every wrong done to me as a child- as a teenager- as a woman of thirty
allow the hurt sick little girl in me to stop crying
and find some peace
allow the adult in me to move on from
my chosen roll as victim a role I can only admit
to the dark part of my self, the part that
keeps me stuck in quicksand, that
allows me to wallow in darkness
and evil thoughts- the part that hates everything

 

[Savage Kitten]

Are you searching for the truth or kindness?

*grinz*

You've come to the right place, moking. You can receive some exceptional guidance here, if you are willing to accept it as constructive criticism. Most people here would rather not say any thing at all if they can't be honest abt a poets work.

now.. for you poem...

don't look for me to critque haha.. i can only relate. Your lines of your poem reach out and touch me, i've been there. I suppose they are the kinds of questions most women as themselves when they reach their 30's

if you have submitted your work to Lit, I would suggest posting a link to it. That way, we not only read it but we can also vote and send feedback via email.

carry on poet
*smiles*
Sk~

 

[mokingbird]

thanks savage kitty, for your kind words and your advice,not sure how to post a link to my poem, but i think you can email me