New & Need Help

[jewelzz]

Hiiiii

 

[Blueeyesrenee]

Not sure if you want to talk to a female or a male. I'm 46 female and have been around the whole BDSM style for about 16 years. Feel free to message me if you'd like. Best of luck on your journey!!

 

[DVS]

Hi, I am a 20-something female who over the last couple of years discovered how much certain aspects of the BDSM world turn me on. I am currently not looking for a dom/sub relationship or anything of that sort, but I would really love someone to talk to about my sexual interests and better learn what they mean to me and my sexuality. If you are willing to chat, please send me a message

For the most part, this is a very knowledgeable group. We also prefer to talk over issues in this forum, instead of in PMs. The reason for that is others might be having the very same newbie issues and not have the same courage as you to actually come forward and ask for help. You would be giving these people the benefit of your strength with that.

Now there are exceptions to this as sometimes, it just works out better for people to talk in private. If this is the case for you, I hope you keep in mind that whoever contacts you might not have the most experience with any issue you have.

We pride ourselves with varied results and experiences and what one person might have experience with someone else might have also experienced it but had different results. This doesn't mean one person's experience is invalid, it just means that maybe one person might be more in tune with you in that way.

Also, for the best communication with your questions, I'd say to PM with another submissive. If you're a woman submissive, it's best to get another woman submissive's experiences. Male submissive, talk to another male submissive. This gives you the best perspective, because you are talking to someone who probably has experienced what you are asking about, and being of the same gender, they could give you a better path to follow.

But, like I said, we have some very smart and experienced people here and I personally find it best to listen to a group of experiences and advice, then decide for myself the path I take. Everybody is different and even the one with the closest experience to your question might not relate to you as well as someone else might. I'd say asking in this forum would give you more experiences and more variations of suggestions.

Not to mention that you'd also end up making a bunch of friends of people who were just strangers before.

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

For the most part, this is a very knowledgeable group. We also prefer to talk over issues in this forum, instead of in PMs. The reason for that is others might be having the very same newbie issues and not have the same courage as you to actually come forward and ask for help. You would be giving these people the benefit of your strength with that.

Now there are exceptions to this as sometimes, it just works out better for people to talk in private. If this is the case for you, I hope you keep in mind that whoever contacts you might not have the most experience with any issue you have.

We pride ourselves with varied results and experiences and what one person might have experience with someone else might have also experienced it but had different results. This doesn't mean one person's experience is invalid, it just means that maybe one person might be more in tune with you in that way.

Also, for the best communication with your questions, I'd say to PM with another submissive. If you're a woman submissive, it's best to get another woman submissive's experiences. Male submissive, talk to another male submissive. This gives you the best perspective, because you are talking to someone who probably has experienced what you are asking about, and being of the same gender, they could give you a better path to follow.

But, like I said, we have some very smart and experienced people here and I personally find it best to listen to a group of experiences and advice, then decide for myself the path I take. Everybody is different and even the one with the closest experience to your question might not relate to you as well as someone else might. I'd say asking in this forum would give you more experiences and more variations of suggestions.

Not to mention that you'd also end up making a bunch of friends of people who were just strangers before.

This is great! I can't think of many issues that aren't better discussed in an open forum when it comes to general questions. For personal things I can understand wanting to be more private, but if your asking I can guarantee you that their is at least a dozen lurkers asking the same thing.

 

[sweettalk4u]

You are going about it the right way girl. Talk listen and learn. Keep an open mind. Treat people as you like to be treated. Learn about your sexual mind and your body will follow. You are so young to be wanting this level of sexual experience

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Welcome! I'm Honey.

You seem to have a great attitude. Read around, join in when you feel comfy, ask lots of questions!

The Café is a fun place to hang and socialize in a more casual environment. Feel free to jump in over there and let us get to know you!

 

[Bramblethorn]

We also prefer to talk over issues in this forum, instead of in PMs. The reason for that is others might be having the very same newbie issues and not have the same courage as you to actually come forward and ask for help. You would be giving these people the benefit of your strength with that.

Everything DVS said, and also: keeping it on the forum helps discourage creepy dudes with ulterior motives. Some guys will pay more attention to the "20-something female submissive" part of your post than to the "not looking for a relationship" bit.

Hi and welcome!

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hi Brambly!

Some guys will pay more attention to the "20-something female submissive" part of your post than to the "not looking for a relationship" bit.

Ain't that the fuckin' truth?

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Everything DVS said, and also: keeping it on the forum helps discourage creepy dudes with ulterior motives. Some guys will pay more attention to the "20-something female submissive" part of your post than to the "not looking for a relationship" bit.

Hi and welcome!

You mean that 20 something submissive wasn't the point of the entire post!

 

[Bramblethorn]

Hi Brambly!

Ain't that the fuckin' truth?

Hi Honey!

I'm still salty about the time I was discussing the challenges of raising an autistic kid and some dude interpreted that as an invitation for him to PM me about his throbbing member. :-/

 

[Threadbare42]

Hopefully you haven't been bombarded with inappropriate messages, wouldn't surprise me knowing how some people are, as others have alluded to. I'm not in a position of great authority yet when it comes to knowledge on the topic, but from someone else starting out on this journey, best of luck

 

[KamaKamaSutra]

Hi Honey!

I'm still salty about the time I was discussing the challenges of raising an autistic kid and some dude interpreted that as an invitation for him to PM me about his throbbing member. :-/

Da Faq? I mean I've seen some big stretches but even my mind struggles to find a way to tie those two together.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Hi Honey!

I'm still salty about the time I was discussing the challenges of raising an autistic kid and some dude interpreted that as an invitation for him to PM me about his throbbing member. :-/

Some Lit members have better manners than others.

Happy New Year, everyone!

 

[ZanzibarWest]

Best advice I can give is to ask a lot of questions and find friends before you do anything too adventurous. Finding people you can trust and who answer your questions are vital in BDSM and I'm sure there are people around here who can help you find good, honest people who will help you grow.

 

[DVS]

Best advice I can give is to ask a lot of questions and find friends before you do anything too adventurous. Finding people you can trust and who answer your questions are vital in BDSM and I'm sure there are people around here who can help you find good, honest people who will help you grow.

Very good advice.

By the way...ever heard of a guy named 'jeep daddy chris'? It's been said he owns the whole state of Michigan.
Sorry...inside joke from another thread on this forum. I just couldn't resist.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Da Faq? I mean I've seen some big stretches but even my mind struggles to find a way to tie those two together.

Oh, there wasn't a segue or anything.

GUY: I read your post in the parenting thread, you sound like a really caring mother.

ME: Thanks, that's really nice of you to say that.

GUY: [description of spurting manhood]

It really was that fast and that abrupt.

 

[sub2femdom]

20 bucks says the OP is catfishing. Good luck.

 

[Fedora_Hat]

If I've learned anything about this lifestyle, it is that you always have more to learn. Even those of us that have been a while, done a lot and seen even more!

 

[jewelzz]

Hiiiiiiiii

 

[jewelzz]

Nopeee

 

[AlwaysFara]

Very good advice.

By the way...ever heard of a guy named 'jeep daddy chris'? It's been said he owns the whole state of Michigan.
Sorry...inside joke from another thread on this forum. I just couldn't resist.

Ahahahaaa!!!!

20 bucks says the OP is catfishing. Good luck.

So? Let him or her ask questions here, it may help someone else.
We’ve already advised to stay open in the forum and not PM.

 

[Tedfkats]

This is all excellent advice. If you can keep ahead of your no-doubt flooded inbox, you will find some really nice, knowledgeable people here.
Welcome.

 

[sweettalk4u]

and you will discover many more things you like. Fetishes that turn you on. The unintended consequences that take your mind and body to some sensual places.

 

[Cause66]

I’m a 50+ year old male who absolutely knows you aren’t looking to meet, but has some experience. So if you want to chat here or privately feel free to say hi back x

 

[sub2femdom]

For the record, I am not cat fishing anyone lol It's just that, I noticed certain taboos that really turn me on, which most people I know find well, wrong/gross. I am sure my kinks aren't necessarily strange, but it's nice to be reassured by someone who understands, whether it is from the dominant or submissive side. Thanks again everyone! You have all been so kind and very helpful/encouraging as well!

Then you have my apologies.

As you may have guessed, I (as a submissive) have been targeted more than a few times by fake doms, catfishers, etc... It's a difficult world to navigate, especially when you are new. I'm lucky enough to say that overall, my experiences have been very positive, and I've found out a lot about myself and my sexuality through experimentation and reading forums like this one.

I encourage you to ask specific and blunt questions on the forum to get a good variety of answers / advice, as any advice you get by PM is excluded from peer review. There's enough blogs out there with terrible information, as there are also good ones with useful information.

And it's not that many of these (less useful) people are intentionally giving bad advice, as much as they just aren't experienced - but don't realize it. The majority of what they know is stuff that they read on a blog, right or wrong.

Good luck!