New Math

[thebullet]

Subject: New Math!!


What makes 100%?? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%?? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?

Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard Work and
Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the
Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

 

[Honey123]

Subject: New Math!!

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

Dammit! I knew I was good for something AND giving it more than 100% at that!

 

[Goldie Munro]

Jeez! Don't ask me I am numeriliterate!! 1 + 1 = ehmm can I get back to you?

 

[neonlyte]

But everyone knows

C+U+N+N+I+L+I+N+G+U+S = 3+21+14+14+9+12+9+14+7+21+19 =143

and puts you way over the top.

 

[Goldie Munro]

But everyone knows

C+U+N+N+I+L+I+N+G+U+S = 3+21+14+14+9+12+9+14+7+21+19 =143

and puts you way over the top.

Oh I get it now!! Thanks!!

 

[Honey123]

Oh I get it now!! Thanks!!

No you DON'T!

 

[Goldie Munro]

No you DON'T!

And how do you know???

 

[Honey123]

And how do you know???

K-N-O-W-I-N-G = 11+14+15+23+9+14+7 = 93%

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

W-H-E-N =23+8+5+14 = 50%

I =9 = 9%

R-E-A-D =18+5+1+4 = 28%

I-T =9+20 = 29%

I gave 312% on that one!!! I need a drink!

 

[Goldie Munro]

K-N-O-W-I-N-G = 11+14+15+23+9+14+7 = 93%

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T = 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

W-H-E-N =23+8+5+14 = 50%

I =9 = 9%

R-E-A-D =18+5+1+4 = 28%

I-T =9+20 = 29%

I gave 312% on that one!!! I need a drink!

Smartass! No drink from me!

 

[Honey123]

Smartass! No drink from me!

Not even a body shot?????

 

[Goldie Munro]

Not even a body shot?????

Well I'd love a shot at your body! Same thing??

 

[Honey123]

Well I'd love a shot at your body! Same thing??

For you? Anything goes...as long as you give more than 100%

 

[Goldie Munro]

For you? Anything goes...as long as you give more than 100%

Now don't get all mathematical with me - just give me your body!!

 

[Remec]

A shot at Honey's body?

Well I'd love a shot at your body! Same thing??

<slipping in with a small manila envelope>
<handing Goldie a sheaf of papers, a couple of bumper stickers, and a handy wallet-sized plastic card>
<pinning a bright, sparkly lapel pin to her blouse>
<enthusiastically shaking her hand>
<smiling>

 

[Goldie Munro]

<slipping in with a small manila envelope>
<handing Goldie a sheaf of papers, a couple of bumper stickers, and a handy wallet-sized plastic card>
<pinning a bright, sparkly lapel pin to her blouse>
<enthusiastically shaking her hand>
<smiling>

Hi - thanks for the gifts - but I'm not into bumper stickers - really -

 

[Honey123]

<slipping in with a small manila envelope>
<handing Goldie a sheaf of papers, a couple of bumper stickers, and a handy wallet-sized plastic card>
<pinning a bright, sparkly lapel pin to her blouse>
<enthusiastically shaking her hand>
<smiling>

Say what??? How come I didn't get any?

Goldie...come here, I stick something to ya bumper!

 

[Goldie Munro]

Say what??? How come I didn't get any?

Goldie...come here, I stick something to ya bumper!

Really? I am anticipating...

 

[Remec]

Hi - thanks for the gifts - but I'm not into bumper stickers - really -

Oh, that's cool...I'm sure someone else around here would like it...

<reaching over to take the sticker>
Which one is this, anyways?
"If only I had bees who were this talented...." <nodding> Yep, bound to be someone in the fan club who'll take it. <BG>

 

[Remec]

Say what??? How come I didn't get any?

Goldie...come here, I stick something to ya bumper!

I hadn't thought you were that narcissistic, that's why...hehehe

 

[Goldie Munro]

Oh, that's cool...I'm sure someone else around here would like it...

<reaching over to take the sticker>
Which one is this, anyways?
"If only I had bees who were this talented...." <nodding> Yep, bound to be someone in the fan club who'll take it. <BG>

Hope you get lucky!

 

[Honey123]

I hadn't thought you were that narcissistic, that's why...hehehe

Aww....is it hot in here?

 

[Remec]

Hope you get lucky!

Well, I'd certainly love that, but I thought we were discussing Honey? hehehe

 

[Goldie Munro]

Aww....is it hot in here?

No... I just fan myself for affect!!

 

[Remec]

Aww....is it hot in here?

Of course, it's a pizz...oh, wait, the pizzeria's next door...well, whatever, you're here, that's plenty hot by me.

 

[Honey123]

Of course, it's a pizz...oh, wait, the pizzeria's next door...well, whatever, you're here, that's plenty hot by me.

I've never been compared to a pizza before...is my mozzarella dripping?