New kid on the block....

[GingerV]

*takes a deep breath and jumps in at the deep end*

Hi guys,

I wanted to introduce myself by giving feedback before begging for it. But life intervened, and my first submission (Fantasies) got accepted before I had a chance to post any other sort of "Hiya." With any luck, I'll start giving as good as I get as soon as possible.

So here I am, a newbie hoping for acceptance and feedback. I love praise when warranted, and want to learn from my mistakes so ALL comments are welcome, pro and con.

You can find "Fantasies" in the Erotic Coupling section, or at the link below if my computer jinx doesn't foul it up.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=157642

Hope the story finds friends here....I did very much enjoy writing it.

Thanks in advance!

GingerV

 

[BlackSnake]

Well I guess I'll take a stab at it. Very well written. It flows nicely, and I generally don't like stories written in the first person. It developed the main character really well as well as her desire.

How's that

 

[vargas111]

Wow,

She is new and already knows how to put a link to the story.

How do you do that?

 

[impressive]

Nice work. Good balance between narrative & dialog. Very believable characters. And quite hot.

First person is my fave. I can insert myself into the work that way and go along for the ride.

And the prolonged tension -- well, that's another favorite theme.

Several of my pieces use both (first person & prolonged tension).

I'd pay just a little closer attention to punctuation. I noticed some omissions, but it wasn't terribly distracting. Be careful about overusing ellipses (...) as well. Technically, dashes are better for pauses.

Looking forward to more!

Peace,

 

[GingerV]

Blacksnake - thanks for breaking the ice . You know, I'd never stopped to think about whether first person was a good idea or not. I felt it was right here, because my interest was what was going on in her head. But now that you say it, most of my scribbles are first person. Maybe I should try to branch. In any case, I'm glad it worked for you.

Vargas111 - I'm new to Literotica, but not to forums in general. Some of the tricks carry over from one to the next. Still, that was officially the second ever link I ever put into a post. Thanks for noticing.

Impressive - I'm glad you enjoyed it. The punctuation is a fair call. Elipses are something that have steadily spread in my writing (letters, stories, wherever) since I first went online in college. I can tell this place is going to be good for me .

 

[Rainbow Skin]

This story is great. It's also infuriatingly frustrating, but it's supposed to be: thoroughly inside her dazed head, using the first-person perspective to maximum advantage. It's fun and sunny, it's well plotted, it's literate and balanced. I look forward to more.

You also give very good feedback in comments here, by the way, astute and sensitive. Do continue.

 

[GingerV]

Rainbow Skin - My appologies for frustrating you, and bonus appologies for having done so with malice of forethought . You got it completely, I'm glad it works.

Thanks for the encouragement! On some level I was more worried about the reviews than the story.