new idea

[JTDavis7776]

I have a idea for a story


"Kid get the hell on the way" (tud). Cole Morrison a 19 year old still in high school cole is a very smart kid but gave up on himself a long time ago his failed the 12th becebecause of a number of reasons one his been on so many fights he fought damn near the football before Christmas break anther reason again he just.gave up and stop.caring. now that doesntdoesnt mean he doesn't care about people he cares about his sister sally she was 18 red head people didnt believed that they where brother and sister because he had brown hair he got his hair from his dad while she got her hair from her dad her and his older brother both had red hair. Cole and sally where close well intel he had a sex dream about sally he know then he had to keep his decent from he.also knew what that meant loneliness and depression he had no to talk to about this his older jack didnt like his is like he looked down on him because they had difference dads. So one day cole made up his mind and make a online journal that way he wouldn be to depressed about this and it help well intel today. For is was any other day he was at his girlfriend's house in her bed making outwhen they finish she ask him a question "so when am I goin to meat the rest of your family" cole was shocked "yea I dont think that's a good idea" "Why not."said kim "because I mean you have met my sister aint that good enough" said cole "no its not ok I met the slut of the family I want to met your mom and bro-"cole stopped her in mid sentence "hey dont call my sister a.slut you dont know you her" "hum yes I do and she flirts with every guy in school hell she even flash her tits to a teacher once" that pissed cole off his sister was starting to be like there mother so cole got up and got his coat "Im not goin to set here and let you talk about my sister like that she is not a slut unlike you bitch


Ok what do you think so are

 

[AZMotherLover]

I hope that's just the meth talking because... damn.

 

[Mello_SixtyNine]

I hope that's just the meth talking because... damn.

Lol...I was thinking the same thing as I tried to decipher that.

I think you should write it yourself. I'm curious to see how low the score will be.

 

[robertreams]

WOW incoherent babble

 

[atariblue]

I didn't intend to read the entire post, but something sucked me in. Maybe it's the way he writes? It has this whole "down the rabbit hole" thing going on.

 

[Mello_SixtyNine]

I didn't intend to read the entire post, but something sucked me in. Maybe it's the way he writes? It has this whole "down the rabbit hole" thing going on.

Another fascinating thing about his writing style is that I don't think he has any clue about how to correctly use periods. Here's an example:

he just.gave up and stop.caring.

Wow...just wow.

 

[atariblue]

His sentence structure and period placement is peculiar. It's the literary equivalent of being stuck in traffic on the highway. Gas, break, gas, brake, gas, break. I just want to get to the next sentence without stopping every two words!