New Hope For Afflicted Lit Writing Contestants

[Rumple Foreskin]

The First Church of the Burning Bush and Discount House of Lickers is proud to announce, with appropriate pomp and ceremony, a new service designed to help alleviate a certain affliction common to Literotica writing contest participants:

SCORE CHECKERS ANONYMOUS

Here are a few unsolicited comments:

DanielKitten: "...do the funds go to the Reverend or the church?"

Foux Pas: "This article has no bearing on my life. It's all a big mistake, I can stop anytime I want to.... I just don't want to."

elfin odalisque: "Thanks for sharing, reverend."

Annonymous: "Add a bit of excessive/compulsive and you have .... exactly what the Rev. Rump is talking about."

Check it out, dearly beloved. And remember, we of the First Church of the Burning Bush and Discount House of Lickers are always ready to relieve those burdened by stress over what to do with all their contest winnings.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

 

[3113]

One question: will the service in any way alter my sexual orientation?

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

One question: will the service in any way alter my sexual orientation?

Only if, and this seems very unlikely, your current one is negative.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

 

[glynndah]

Oh, dear! I hadn't realized the problem here was so serious. What happens if the affected's affliction manifests itself in a negative manner? I aspire to be a Score Checker, but, alas, I can never find where the scores are posted and have to sneak up on my own story most of the time. Tell me, O Wise One, is there any hope for me?

Glynndah

Enclosed please find $500 in S & H Green Stamps.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Oh, dear! I hadn't realized the problem here was so serious. What happens if the affected's affliction manifests itself in a negative manner? I aspire to be a Score Checker, but, alas, I can never find where the scores are posted and have to sneak up on my own story most of the time. Tell me, O Wise One, is there any hope for me?

Glynndah

Enclosed please find $500 in S & H Green Stamps.

Not if you keep trying to fob off $500 worth of loose S&H Green Stamps on the Right Rev..., I mean, on Score Checkers Anonymous. Granted, there is a discount lickers enterprise associated with the church, but Green Stamps aren't just exactly the object of that ministry's interest, trust me.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Not if you keep trying to fob off $500 worth of loose S&H Green Stamps on the Right Rev..., I mean, on Score Checkers Anonymous. Granted, there is a discount lickers enterprise associated with the church, but Green Stamps aren't just exactly the object of that ministry's interest, trust me.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

Yay, verily, thouest speakest the truth, oh venerated one...

The objects of The Church of the Burning Bush and Discount Liquors ®™ - Where you can save and be saved in one convenient stop © are of the most sublime...we are here to alter the souls of our fallen brethren and sisterthren...especially the most fallen of the sisterthren, to whom we pay most careful and devout attention to...ah...I seemed to have lost my train of thought...yes the sisters are the object of our...ministry...yes...praise be...

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

*ponderates*

You need another nun?

 

[drksideofthemoon]

*ponderates*

You need another nun?

I think I can speak on behalf of the good Reverend who is currently ministering to one of the fallen and say that the The Church of the Burning Bush and Discount Liquors ®™ - Where you can save and be saved in one convenient stop © would most hardily...er...heartily welcome a Ponderating Nun such as yourself...

 

[glynndah]

Not if you keep trying to fob off $500 worth of loose S&H Green Stamps on the Right Rev..., I mean, on Score Checkers Anonymous. Granted, there is a discount lickers enterprise associated with the church, but Green Stamps aren't just exactly the object of that ministry's interest, trust me.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

Loose Green Stamps! Loose Green Stamps! I'll have you know each and every one of those suckers was licked, lined up and pasted in books! Do you have any idea how much Flying Monkey Chow I had to buy to save that many books?!?

 

[MaeveoSliabh]

I think I can speak on behalf of the good Reverend who is currently ministering to one of the fallen and say that the The Church of the Burning Bush and Discount Liquors ®™ - Where you can save and be saved in one convenient stop © would most hardily...er...heartily welcome a Ponderating Nun such as yourself...

i'm sure the prospective nuns have to go through a rigorous training course and testing to be accepted. How hard is the exam? How widespread should an individuals assets be? Is flexibility a necessity, or is this something that will require quite a bit of the day to be tied up in the process?

 

[drksideofthemoon]

i'm sure the prospective nuns have to go through a rigorous training course and testing to be accepted. How hard is the exam? How widespread should an individuals assets be? Is flexibility a necessity, or is this something that will require quite a bit of the day to be tied up in the process?

Well, yes indeedy. Now, as to you queries...

How hard is the examiner...Well that would all depend...oh, excuse me, my glasses were fogged...There is no pass/fail on the exam, it is used as a tool to place you where you will be most desired, uhm, that is to say, the place that would be most desirable for your skills, and needs.

Flexiblity is something that the Right Reverend finds most appealing...

Oh, did someone mention our newly form Shibari classes....you could find yourself tied up for most of the day...I think that is a most...excuse me...I need to go....uhm...freshen up....

 

[glynndah]

Dear Sirs;

I am quite interested in your Lay Ministries. How do I enroll?

A good little witch,
Glynndah

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Do you have any idea how much Flying Monkey Chow I had to buy to save that many books?!?

A whole lot?

As for our "Lay" ministry, hum, now that you mention it, we do have a lay ministry around here somewhere, in fact, that's what we're best at. Okay, it's like this, the road to lay-hood is long and filled with many dark and lonely sports. However, I feel certain you have ALL the attributes needed to finish the journey.

Sister Mae, the road to nun-hood is long and filled with many dark and lonely spots. However, I feel certain you have ALL the attributes needed to finish the journey. But please note that Score Checkers Anonymous accepts both the profane and the amateur fane.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

 

[glynndah]

A whole lot?

As for our "Lay" ministry, hum, now that you mention it, we do have a lay ministry around here somewhere, in fact, that's what we're best at. Okay, it's like this, the road to lay-hood is long and filled with many dark and lonely sports. However, I feel certain you have ALL the attributes needed to finish the journey.

Sister Mae, the road to nun-hood is long and filled with many dark and lonely spots. However, I feel certain you have ALL the attributes needed to finish the journey. But please note that Score Checkers Anonymous accepts both the profane and the amateur fane.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

I have sent this semester's tuition to drksideofthemoon.

 

[scriptordelecto]

Yay, verily, thouest speakest the truth, oh venerated one...

The objects of The Church of the Burning Bush and Discount Liquors ®™ - Where you can save and be saved in one convenient stop © are of the most sublime...we are here to alter the souls of our fallen brethren and sisterthren...especially the most fallen of the sisterthren, to whom we pay most careful and devout attention to...ah...I seemed to have lost my train of thought...yes the sisters are the object of our...ministry...yes...praise be...

Dear Brother Moon...I do hope your difficulties in retaining your train of thought aren't due to imbibing a bit of the good Reverend's high octane sacramental wine. Forget not the admonitions that you imparted to me just a scant few days ago. Praise be to you and the good Rev. Rumple D. Foreskin for your unselfish devotion to we poor wayward sisters.

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Dear Brother Moon...I do hope your difficulties in retaining your train of thought aren't due to imbibing a bit of the good Reverend's high octane sacramental wine. Forget not the admonitions that you imparted to me just a scant few days ago. Praise be to you and the good Rev. Rumple D. Foreskin for your unselfish devotion to we poor wayward sisters.

Dear Sister Deletco,

Fear not, I have not partaken of the good Rev's JoyJuice aka Sacramental Wine, I fear the bottle has run dry.

Thank you on behalf of the Reverened for your devotion to duty and to The Church of the Burning Bush and Discount Liquors ®™ - Where you can save and be saved in one convenient stop ©.

Your presence here makes us only give further thanks to our work....

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Dear Sirs;

I am quite interested in your Lay Ministries. How do I enroll?

A good little witch,
Glynndah

Lay? *perk*

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Lay? *perk*

And yes, even you may be saved...there is hope for all at The Church of the Burning Bush and Discount Liquors ®™ - Where you can save and be saved in one convenient stop ©

We will turn no one away...

 

[TE999]

*ponderates*

You need another nun?

I didn't think the word 'none' when it applied to pretty girls was part of the church doctrine.

Oh, you said 'nun'.

My bad, continue with the sermon.

Hey, can I get an olive in this martini? Okay, an onion then.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

I didn't think the word 'none' when it applied to pretty girls was part of the church doctrine.

Oh, you said 'nun'.

My bad, continue with the sermon.

Hey, can I get an olive in this martini? Okay, an onion then.

Want that olive with or without a bit of pimento? Here at FCBB&DHL, we aim to please. Especially to those who have yet to tithe.

Just a reminder to everyone that the first meeting of

SCORE CHECKERS ANONYMOUS: affecting the afflicted (check it out)

will be held in the church basement. Refreshments will be served.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

 

[TE999]

Want that olive with or without a bit of pimento? Here at FCBB&DHL, we aim to please. Especially to those who have yet to tithe.

Just a reminder to everyone that the first meeting of

SCORE CHECKERS ANONYMOUS: affecting the afflicted (check it out)

will be held in the church basement. Refreshments will be served.

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

Without. I have to watch my weight.

Oh, that's right, the tithe.

Must have slipped my mind. Hey, I know.

There's a floating crap game goin' on in the cloakroom. I feel lucky tonight.

I'll get back to ya', Rev.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Without. I have to watch my weight.

Oh, that's right, the tithe.

Must have slipped my mind. Hey, I know.

There's a floating crap game goin' on in the cloakroom. I feel lucky tonight.

I'll get back to ya', Rev.

Brother TE, what was the outcome of your participation in that game of chance? The church finance comm., is anxious to know.

http://people.csail.mit.edu/paulfitz/spanish/tt3.jpg​

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

 

[TE999]

Brother TE, what was the outcome of your participation in that game of chance? The church finance comm., is anxious to know.

http://people.csail.mit.edu/paulfitz/spanish/tt3.jpg​

The Right Rev Rumple Foreskin http://bestsmileys.com/religous/1.gif

Damn. I didn't expect some Spanish Inquisition!

Okay, okay, I'm a hundred 'n' fifty bucks to the good.

Here you go, Rev. Put this on my account.

Hey, you guys in the cloakroom, I'm back in the game. I'll put up my watch.