new here...

[Unknown2387]

Hello all, I posted earlier in the intro section, but here is what im looking for and some of my situation. I'm married and have 2 daughters. recently my wife has brought to my attention that she wants little to no say as far as what happens in our bed. Unfortunatly i've never been one to "take charge" completely. i have gotten into it before with choking and spanking but never done anything she remotely resisted against. So i guess other than talking to her about what she is looking for, im looking to learn form others who have been in my "shoes" and have been successful in ful-filling their partners needs and wants, aswell as exploring their own wants/needs.

Thanks in advance.

 

[littlecordelera]

I doubt your wife wants any particular activity: choking, spanking, bondage, whatever. I think she simply wants to be told what to do. Lots of people are that way. My husband is one of them.

So, take charge. Start by indulging your own desires and look to see how she responds. Put some variation into it, and keep looking for her telltale signs of arousal/enjoyment. Play up the things that arouse her, and keep varying your methods, looking for new ways to rock her world.

I think she wants you to nurture her sex life. Treat her like a "child of sex" who needs your direction and authority. Use her in ways to help to explore her desires.

You may find that this can become a backdrop to your entire relationship. It has a lot of benefits and creates a lot of enjoyment. Works for us, anyway.

Good luck!

 

[Unknown2387]

No she does. She wants to be completely submissive. I'm trying to find a way to give her what she wants/needs. I'm completely new to this as I've never thought of it until now. I've watched a few bdsm movies and really like the thought of it. I just don't know where to start.

 

[neci]

you could always rent her out.

 

[Unknown2387]

you could always rent her out.

Lets not and say we did...
Really looking for help here, anyone have usefull info?

 

[John Blackhawk]

Start with what you're comfortable with. Restraints and sex toys are a pretty good place to start. Then you should sexually tease every inch of her body until she starts begging you to fuck her.

 

[Unknown2387]

this is where we started sunday night but she wants full blown loss of control. i've learned a few basic knots and am looking into some "equipment" as i type this. The knots are easy as i've been a fisherman and an expirenced boater for many years. the part where im at loss is taking away all of her thoughts and control. are there any good books out there? I know some of you are reading this and saying its not something you learn, its who you are. but hey we all got started somewhere, somehow... and i may even figure out who i am in the process. maybe i will find that im the D, maybe ill end up the S... who knows?

 

[nexttome]

You might want to try the BDSM forums for what you are asking.
But while you are here I'll throw my two cents in -
It sounds like she is totally bored with sex and looking for something to ignite a spark, but there is a difference between sensual and bondage. In my mind sensual is being loosely tided up with a blindfold anticipating an awaking of all the senses being driven towards a marvelous climax. While bondage is demeaning and degrading offering pain for submission.

 

[Que]

I haven't seen her posts lately but if you can find the links in StellaOmega's signature she has a good, basic primer of who does what to whom and what sort of labels apply. between your wife and your self no particular label is needed but when it comes to looking things up and reading you sort of need to know what brand of kinky you're interested in.

I would start by reading in the BDSM forum section here.

 

[nexttome]

I haven't seen her posts lately but if you can find the links in StellaOmega's signature she has a good, basic primer of who does what to whom and what sort of labels apply. between your wife and your self no particular label is needed but when it comes to looking things up and reading you sort of need to know what brand of kinky you're interested in.

I would start by reading in the BDSM forum section here.

Have you found a side?