New Foundation (closed)

[Pix]

Logan Alexander stared into the cup of coffee that had gone cold nearly an hour ago. He sat at the kitchen island on a stool, his breathing the only noise to be heard in the house he owned with his wife Jenna. That house may have been in both of their names, but who were they kidding? It was Jenna's money that paid the mortgage, the down payment. It was her credit that had secured them the loan in the first place. Three years into their marriage and Logan still hadn't found steady work, and it was his wife keeping them above water.

It was a bit unfair to say Logan had been jobless for three years, he had had a lengthy stint as a junior in sales for the regional cable company. Most of any money earned had come from commissions, and some weeks were better than others, but ultimately Logan had confessed to his wife that the job wasn't fulfilling. She had heard his gripes before, but let him quit to pursue his writing dream once more. Rejuvenated after leaving the cable company, Logan had an essay published about the soul crushing job, then a few short stories, and a couple of freelance articles. Things looked bright until a literary agent told him he wasn't ready for such a push yet and quickly Logan's time devoted to his writing became less and less.

That defeat had been nearly 18 months ago, almost half of the length of his marriage, and he was still out of work, only writing here and there, shutting down after yet another rejection. He was rudderless and felt worthless, and he took it out on Jenna by just distancing himself.

Logan knew friends and family members were hardly surprised. Logan was barely out of college when he proposed to her at age 23. She at the time was 29, and had expressed a desire to be married by 30. Logan felt rushed, but at the time he thought he was invincible and was madly and passionately in love with the beautiful, sophisticated Jenna. Now a part of Logan resented her for pinning him down so early, another part of him hated himself for failing to live up to what Jenna had wanted out of a husband, and mostly for changing from the bold, young college student he once was into a sad sack loser feeling sorry for himself.

He scratched his chin, not bothering to shave on a regular basis anymore. He could smell his unwashed self and decided to at least be clean by the time Jenna arrived home. He knew it was the day to do it, and might as well not stink while he did it.

In the shower, Logan tried to forget about his current predicament and overall shitty life by masturbating. It was a waste of energy, he couldn't even get an erection. 27 years old and my dick doesn't even get hard anymore, he thought to himself as he dried off.

Once he went back downstairs, he grabbed his laptop and opened up Word. He started typing his thoughts out about what would happen once Jenna came home. He had a bullet point about knowing what happened on her last business trip. He wrote how he had seen the credit card bill and saw charges from the hotel that she never could have gotten away with putting them down as a business expense. He wrote notes to himself about how he was furious with her, how he wasn't furious but more empty. He wrote about not feeling anything at all, and about how he understood.

No matter what was the actual feeling was, Logan couldn't pin it down. So he shut the lid of the computer and waited. He didn't know what would happen once Jenna walked through that door, he just knew something would.

 

[heartofcourage]

"What am I doing?" Jenna asked herself as she drove down the side streets on her way home. "And why am I doing it?"

She was almost 33, married to the love of her life for 3 years, and the feeling of soul crushing loneliness threatened to consume her. There was also the immense guilt that she felt at the fact that she had cheated on Logan. At first, she had used the excuse that she was unsatisfied with Logan's direction in life. He was so immature sometimes, listless, and depressed. She needed someone that could be strong for her and give her what she needed, but after she had actually gone through with the whole sordid mess, she was left feeling even more empty inside.

Logan had always wanted to be a writer and when he had confessed that he hated his job, she had supported them both as he tried to make it as a freelancer. Unfortunately, it hadn't worked out. Instead of finding a job, he had simply floated for months while they lived off her income as a realtor. She made good money but she worked her ass off for it. Long days and nights would leave her exhausted. She tried to make time for her husband and her marriage, but that seemed to become the least of her worries as she focused on paying the bills.

Jenna knew that people talked too. They saw Logan as a loser and she had defended him so many times. It wasn't easy to find a job these days. They were simply going through a rough patch and things would work out for the best. She wasn't getting any younger, though. Perhaps their age different was simply too much to overcome. Once they had been very happy. Now...well, now she simply felt like she were Logan's mother. It wasn't sexy. It didn't give her hope. She had lost her need and desire for the one man that was suppose to be her partner in every sense of the word.

Pulling her black BMW into the driveway, she let out a long sigh as she put it into park. She was tired, exhausted, and wondering if Logan would have even taken the time to shower that day. Most days, he would simply be in the same state that she had left him hours earlier. Not that she could really blame him...

Grabbing her purse and her briefcase, she pushed open the door and exited. Her black slacks that had been perfectly pressed that day were wrinkled after hours of driving from appointment to appointment. Her dark curls were slightly listless and her dark pink blouse had a coffee stain just over her right breast. She wanted a long hot bath and a glass of wine. All of that seemed within reach as she opened the front door and kicked off her heels.

"Logan? I'm home." She called into the quiet house as she left her briefcase and purse in her home office just off the front entrance and made her way towards the kitchen.

Jenna Alexander: http://cdn28.us2.fansshare.com/phot...-with-brown-hair-and-blue-eyes-1299946523.jpg