New definitions for old words (or newwords)

[haldir]

Well the Scottish country boy is back - and a guid new year to ye all.

To business mes amis - the game here is to come up with interesting and (most importantly) amusing new definitions for existing words. Here are a few to start us off.

vanish - like a van

sealegs - the egs (sic) of seals

substitute - an underwater hooker

wallet - a small earth retaining structure

spurious - having an unhealthy interest in vomit

circumspect - the action of checking that a circumcision has been performed.

Please note - spelling is of secondary importance. The phonetics are fine too.

Lets have some fun.

ps Belated Merry Xmas

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Rectitude: Song about an ass

 

[Guest]

Welcome back, Haldir.

Perdita

 

[haldir]

Colleen - love it and here's another for u

asshole - a depression in the ground in which to keep your donkey.

Perdita - it's good to be back

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Cunniform: Pre-sex screening for all osha approved sexual activites

 

[haldir]

abstract - well say no more I guess

already - alistair is prepared

groaning - cultivating a ning (sorry)

halter-top - stop a young lady's upper clothing from falling down

Like your style

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Swashbuckler: Medevial servant, of slightly less stature than the sword buckler

 

[haldir]

interuption - to cause a break in a volcanic event

interpret - to trip up a cat-walk model

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Hemispherebservation on an overwight gent.

 

[haldir]

We must continue this tomorrow. Sadly - in my time zone its 1am and I have to go to work tomorrow. So I'm off to bed.

Keep thinking Colly. Like I said - I like your style!

 

[haldir]

Come on all u literary types - can't be beyond you to turn your creative minds to a bit of fun!!!!!

 

[Liar]

phonetics - what you get from talking too much on the phone

 

[Songcatcher]

phonetics - what you get from talking too much on the phone

English Muff is exceptionally good at that.

 

[Liar]

homicide - Compton?

Let's see who gets that one.

 

[BlackShanglan]

Actually printed in a friend's Scrabble dictionary:

Deflower: to remove flowers from

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Maxipad: A reall cool hoe with all the bells & whistles

 

[Alex De Kok]

brothel - soup kitchen

pregnancy - taking seriously something that was poked in fun

(I can't claim originality - I think I first saw these in a University Rag magazine)

Alex

 

[Colleen Thomas]

Dildo: Stiffer cousin of play-doh

 

[haldir]

Thanks - really enjoyed all of those - particularly your definition of dildo colly.

expectorate - assume that someone's going to give a speech.

massage - an entire generation growing old together.

message - the unfortunate consequence of senile incontinence

 

[Liar]

intercourse - where you learn to use the net

condom - a bottle of fake champagne

sodomize - the study of the behaviour of mice

 

[haldir]

thnx - at least someone's interested

 

[dr_mabeuse]

poet -- a tiny po

impress -- a female imp

sanitize -- cure of a mental disorder

disorder -- make them change your chicken sandwich to a burger

lambaste -- spread with mint jelly

Sorry. I'm tired.

---dr.M.

 

[Black Tulip]

LOL

Don't expect me to contribute anything. That is really beyond my grasp of the language but I enjoy reading this thread very much.

Please carry on = donning a carry?



Edited: damn, Liar. I just noticed the blip in your sig. ROFL

 

[haldir]

sleekit - to make it smooth

towel- give her a pull

pigeon - a long lasting swine

quantum - an amount of something you can't remember.

Keep it up folks - enjoying this enormously (like a very big rodent).