New bitch here, care to try out your new welcome letter?

[Guest]

Yep, I'm a bona fide newbie, but, dare I say? I'm not like most.

I'm thick skinned, kind, polite and well-meaning, but I do give in to my inner bitch occasionally.

I'm a 30 year old English woman, happily married to my childhood sweetheart (well, happy most of the time, you all know how it is!) We've got two beautiful daughters, a wonderful dog and four psychotic cats.
I've only been writing erotica for about 18 months, but have learnt a lot in that short space of time. Of course, I've still got loads to learn, but I enjoy it, and that's the most important thing. I haven't submitted anything to Lit, as yet, but I will be shortly; as soon as I'm happy with my stories. I've got a few stories on my own webspace, and I have one on another site; after winning a runner's up place in a competition of their's (woohoo! )
I write both pure erotica and erotic horror, the latter I find the most enjoyable, maybe because I'm a closet xenophile.

I've been lurking around here for a little while; it actually took me longer than I envisaged to pluck up the courage to say 'hi.' Without meaning to sound like a complete suck-arse I think you are all a great bunch pf people. I have been to too many forums where everyone is afraid to express their own opinions, for fear of being different. I for one appreciate the no holds barred candour that prevails here.
I'm not easily offended, but I'm sure a lot will try.

I promise not to mention the war, not entirely sure where I stand on it anyway. My Grandfathers fought in WW2 for the Allies, but I'm married to a half Japanese guy.

Svenskaflicka- I would never dream of calling you the thing which might endanger my life.
Mathgirl- hit me with your welcome letter.

*pensively awaiting reaction*
Katie

 

[MathGirl]

*pensively awaiting reaction*

Dear Tatelou,
Awww, you're no fun at all. Too nice.
MG
Ps. Have you been introduced to BS's wiwi? Do you fancy garderobes? Do you keep sheep?

 

[gauchecritic]

Suck arse.

Hurrah another person who uses proper spelling. Eyup

Gauche

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: New bitch here, care to try out your new welcome letter?

Awww, you're no fun at all. Too nice.

And there was me waiting for the "bugger off" letter.
I fear that I'm being lulled into a false sense of security.

Oh, yes, I have had the pleasure of seeing BS's wiwi, but only a picture of it.
I'm still undecided on my stance re. garderobes.
I don't keep sheep, but I do own a sheepdog. He's a Border Collie, and is very useful for rounding up the kids.

Gauche- I'm lucky enough to be fluent in 'Yorkshire.' My Grandad was a Yorkshireman, before he defected and moved down south.

Katie

 

[Guest]

Re: Re: Re: New bitch here, care to try out your new welcome letter?

I'm lucky enough to be fluent in 'Yorkshire.'

Katie, you're going to be a BIG help to me here; I rarely get what Gauche is on (or off) about.

Welcome to you. Good to have another outspoken femme.

anon, Perdita

 

[TheEarl]

Hey Tatelou. Good theory on how to refer to Sven. The last time I called Sven Sven she besieged me with Harry Potter quotes. However I did warn Sven that I would call her Sven if Sven patronised me about my age again.

There you go. Some nice fireworks for your first thread. Welcome to Lit. Please wipe your feet and wipe the feet of the person to your left. Remember to tip your moderators.

The Earl

 

[KillerMuffin]

Are you sure you're a bitch? I find that usually people who try to be bitches don't have the instinct for it and they usually get run over.

Just don't spam your smut and we'll all get along famously. Unless, of course, you're like a misogynistic sociopath, then we'll fight over you. That's always fun.

Do they have bowling alleys in England? I've always wondered that. . . .

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I'm a 30 year old English woman, happily married to my childhood sweetheart

KINKY!!!!!

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Awww, ickle Earlie... would you like the mean auntie Svenska to put you on Ignore again?

 

[BlackSnake]

Awww, ickle Earlie... would you like the mean auntie Svenska to put you on Ignore again?

I like the way you move your body,
so soft and so gentle....

 

[Svenskaflicka]

I like the way you move your body,
so soft and so gentle....

Unlike the way I slash with my tongue,
so sharp and ruthlessly...

 

[BlackSnake]

Unlike the way I slash with my tongue,
so sharp and ruthlessly...

More like bending over and touching your toes spreading that ass for real fuckin'

 

[TheEarl]

Don't you mean Grandmother Svenska?

You did ask for it .

KM: Of course we have bowling alleys in England.

The Earl

 

[Svenskaflicka]

Nah-ah, Earl! I only mentioned you ONCE. You did 6 TIMES.

The way I figure it, you owe me 5 apologies.

 

[BlackSnake]

Nah-ah, Earl! I only mentioned you ONCE. You did 6 TIMES.

The way I figure it, you owe me 5 apologies.

Here's the entire thing:

{Intro}
I like you, Ronnie

Come here, shorty
Back it up right over here, baby
(Back it up right over here)
Right there (Yeah, slow)
Don't move (You got a body on you, baby)
Work your body (Work your body)
You got a body baby, see some things
(Can you do your thing, baby)
Lord, have mercy
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I like that
Right like that, right like that
Like that, like that
Work it, work it, work it, work it

1 - I like the way you move your body
So soft and so gentle
You're moving your body
I like the way you move your body
Move your body (Move your body)
Move your body (Move you're body)

You've got that thing that drives me crazy
Girl, can we go half on a baby
I'll be your freak, you be my lady
Cuz it's your hips, your thighs, your lips, your eyes

Girl, would you be my private dancer
You're all I need, you got the answer
Girl, you're my heat, you're my fire
Cuz it's your hips, your thighs, your lips, you're eyes

Repeat 1

Inside my mind, you got me trippin'
Inside my head, I see you strippin'
Tap it just right and I'll be tippin'
Your hips, your thighs, your lips, your eyes

You got that thing that drives me crazy
Girl, can we go half on a baby
You got me wondering who's that lady
Your hips, your thighs, your lips, your eyes
You know

Repeat 1

Play it, Earnie
Oh, yeah babe, baby

I like the way, sho' 'nuff I like it
I like the way, you know I like it there
I like the way, sho' 'nuff I like it
I like the way, you know I like it

2 - {Johnson Sisters}
Dance with me, come on dance with me baby
Dance with me, make romance with me baby
Dance with me, come on dance with me baby
Dance with me, make romance with me baby

Dance with me, come on dance with me baby
Dance with me, make romance with me baby
Dance with me, come on dance with me baby
Dance with me, make romance with me baby

Oh baby, shake your body, baby (Whoa)
Come on, shake your body, baby (Whoa)
Come on, whew, shake your body, baby (Whoa)
Come on, oh shake it, baby (Whoa)
Come on move, move

Repeat 2 until fade

 

[Svenskaflicka]

*joining in the chorus line*

Bä, bä, vita lamm,
har du någon ull?
Ja, ja, kära barn,
jag har säcken full.
Helgdagsrock åt far,
och söndagskjol åt mor,
och två par strumpor
åt lille, lille bror.

 

[BlackSnake]

*joining in the chorus line*

Bä, bä, vita lamm,
har du någon ull?
Ja, ja, kära barn,
jag har säcken full.
Helgdagsrock åt far,
och söndagskjol åt mor,
och två par strumpor
åt lille, lille bror.

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[Svenskaflicka]

lol

 

[gauchecritic]

[B
KM: Of course we have bowling alleys in England.

The Earl [/B]

We just don't have the bowls.

Gauche

 

[Svenskaflicka]

The greatest alley in England is Diagon Alley!

 

[Guest]

Blimey, I pop out for a couple of hours, in a vain attempt to train my dog, and look what happens!

Thanks for the welcomes, I've wiped my feet, now I'm hoping I get as far as taking my coat off.

KillerMuffin- You rumbled me, nah I'm not really a bitch, but we all have a little bitchiness in us.
Spamming just ain't my style, honey.
Ok, so I mentioned in my introductory post that I do have stories online, but I wouldn't ever be so bold (or stupid) as to post a link.
I was a good little newbie, and I read the rules and regs before posting.

As a couple of others have mentioned: yes, we do have bowling alleys here. There's three within a half hour's drive of my house ('Whoopy-do' I hear you cry). Unfortunately I can only manage a strike if the buffers are in place; to stop the ball going down the gulley. I know, they're only for kids, but that's one of the few benefits of having kids under ten. Another: being able to play in paddling pools on hot days.

 

[Never]

'Lo, Tatelou. Yo, even.

 

[Guest]

Bo (Selecta), Never.

 

[pop_54]

Hello

Hello tatelou, nice of you to venture among us, brave too, don't take too much notice of this bloody lot, they're all crazy.

pops...........