New author would love feedback

[SwiverGuy]

Hi,
My name is SwiverGuy and I've just had my first story approved. Since I'm new to this genre, I'd love any constructive feedback anyone can offer.

The story is called 'The Samaritan Tales: Neighbours' and is a Non-Consent/Reluctance story. You can find it at:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=440387

I'm looking forward to hearing from you!

SwiverGuy

 

[Typo Fu Master]

Very nice! You write very well and this is a category that I enjoy. I really liked the story but the end bothered me a little. One moment they're fearing for their lives and the next, they want him to stay? It seemed out of place.

 

[SwiverGuy]

Thanks, Typo Fu Master

Typo Fu Master, thanks for your comments. Just the kind of feedback I'm looking for. I'll definitely be more careful about my character's motivations in my next story.

On another issue, I read my story online just now to see how it looked, and noticed a few typos and an inconsistency (he stands up twice at near the end). I thought I'd caught them all, but I guess I didn't. In general, it may be a good idea for us to give our stories a final read through when they've been submitted and they're in the pending stage.

 

[_Lynn_]

Typo Fu Master, thanks for your comments. Just the kind of feedback I'm looking for. I'll definitely be more careful about my character's motivations in my next story.

On another issue, I read my story online just now to see how it looked, and noticed a few typos and an inconsistency (he stands up twice at near the end). I thought I'd caught them all, but I guess I didn't. In general, it may be a good idea for us to give our stories a final read through when they've been submitted and they're in the pending stage.

Each time you open a submitted story that is pending, it moves to the end of the queue again. If you c/p your stories on the submission page, you can click 'preview' to see how it will look. Beta-readers are great for catching some of those inconsistencies, as is a good editor.