New Author at Literotica

[litchipking]

I've been an avid reader for several years and recently submitted my first attempt at writing a story of my own. I tried to contact four different editors but had no luck and then finally just went with what I had written. I've re-read the post and have noticed a few small errors, but overall I'm pleased with the results.

The story has received over fifty votes in just a few months but only three comments. Is this normal? I have been really looking forward to hearing from readers so I can know better what has worked and what has not.

The story is under Group Sex, although it is an unconventional group sex story. Please check it out and let me hear from you.

Undercover Rock - http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=345064

Looking forward to your comments.

Chip King

 

[starrkers]

Yeah, it's pretty normal to get hardly any comments. Frustrating, but normal.

 

[Lalah]

Same for me. My stories all have only about 3-4 comments each, althought I get plenty of email feedback. You should turn your email feedback on, It seem people prefer that option.

 

[litchipking]

Thanks. I think my email feedback is on. ??? I know so little right now.

 

[Guest]

This is your first Lit story and done without an editor? Congratulations! Your plot twists would, at first blush, seem to be improbable but you pulled it off and made them really plausible. You have a gift for description and narrative. Pretty damned hot sex, too. Keep writing!

 

[Lalah]

I checked your profile and the story sounds appealing. I'll read it and comment as soon as I get an hour or so of free time.

 

[litchipking]

Thank you so much for your comments - I've been really longing for the feedback. And, of course, I am glad you enjoyed the story.

 

[tickledkitty]

This really good for a first effort, and most especially since you didn't use an editor.

I thought Kip's acceptance of the situation came a little too quickly, and the long narrative section at the beginning was just beginning to get tiresome when Kip showed up.

The other problem I had was Jamey's use of terms like "hooters" and "quim." There were others, but I won't go back and point them all out. I realize you said she'd been living as a man for a while, but she's still a woman. It just sort of hit me wrong, though not enough to turn me away from the story, and this may just be ME and not necessarily something that would bother other people.

I agree with Gnome that your narrative and descriptions are good. I also thought your dialogue was very well done for the most part.

I did see a few minor mistakes, which are probably the same ones you noticed yourself. It wouldn't hurt to ask another writer to give things a read before you submit them. In addition to my editor, I usually have 2 or 3 friends review my stories, even while I'm still working on them.

Well done, Chip. I look forward to seeing your next submission.

 

[litchipking]

Thank you for the insight. I debated the use of the "colorful" words. I acutally decided to include them to sort of poke fun at the ridiculous terms used in many of the stories I've read. I hope it didn't take away from the mood of the story.

I agree that I need to share my stories first. It has been difficult, however, to get responses from the volunteer editors.

Thanks again.

Chip

 

[tickledkitty]

Thank you for the insight. I debated the use of the "colorful" words. I acutally decided to include them to sort of poke fun at the ridiculous terms used in many of the stories I've read. I hope it didn't take away from the mood of the story.

I agree that I need to share my stories first. It has been difficult, however, to get responses from the volunteer editors.

Thanks again.

Chip

You're very welcome. Try posting in the Editor's Forum. That's how I found my first editor. It might be easier to find someone now because you already have a decent story posted. I think sometimes editors are reluctant to take someone new on when they don't know how well the person writes.

I don't think the "colorful words" detracted from the mood of the story. I didn't get the "poking fun" thing though. Maybe because the rest of the story isn't really written that way? I do agree that calling a pussy a pussy gets boring after a while. It is nice to use different words, but maybe not quite so many and not quite so often.

 

[Guest]

I don't think the "colorful words" detracted from the mood of the story. I didn't get the "poking fun" thing though. Maybe because the rest of the story isn't really written that way? I do agree that calling a pussy a pussy gets boring after a while. It is nice to use different words, but maybe not quite so many and not quite so often.

Like Kitty, I found the word choices a bit off-putting at first. Then I decided (rightly or wrongly) that a woman trying to impersonate a man might well wind up using (even if only mentally) words that she'd heard from other males... sort of the sexual equivalent of, "Hey, how 'bout them Packers?" After that, it was sort of fun.

Anyway, that's my story an' I'm stickin' to it.