New additions to the periodic table of elements

canadian_lady

Really Really Experienced
Joined
Aug 3, 2000
Posts
411
(Something I found and I thought was cute)


Element Name: WOMAN

Symbol: WO

Atomic Weight: (don't even go there)

Physical properties: Generally round in form. Boils at nothing and may freeze at any time. Melts
whenever treated properly. Very bitter if mishandled.

Chemical properties: Very active. Highly unstable. Possesses strong affinity with gold, silver, platinum
and precious stones. Volatile when left alone. Able to absorb great amounts of exotic food. Turns
slightly green when placed next to a shinier specimen.

Usage: Highly ornamental. An extremely good catalyst for dispersion of wealth. Probably the most
powerful income reducing agent known.

Caution: Highly explosive in inexperienced hands.

***

Element Name: MAN

Symbol: XY

Atomic Weight: (180 +/-50)

Physical properties: Solid at room temperature, but gets bent out of shape easily. Fairly dense and
sometimes flaky. Difficult to find a pure sample. Due to rust, aging samples are unable to conduct
electricity as easily as young samples.

Chemical properties: Attempts to bond with WO any chance it can get. Also tends to form strong
bonds with itself. Becomes explosive when mixed with KD (Element: Child) for prolonged period of
time. Neutralize by saturating with alcohol.

Usage: None known. Possibly good methane source. Good specimens are able to produce large
quantities on command.

Caution: In the absence of WO, this element rapidly decomposes and begins to smell.
 
ROTFLMFAO!! I love it. If I had ink in the printer, I'd print it.
 
Hee, hee...think I'll pass this one on to my Chemistry prof.
 
This is great! I am going to have to print it out & show it to my honey. I have always wanted a scientific explanation for some of the stuff my guy does. Thanks for a laugh, this has been a rough week for me.
 
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