Hi,
The final part (chapter 21) of my first Lit story has just been approved and I would welcome any comments. Here is a link to the first chapter:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478801
All comment so far has been positive and I'm very appreciative of that... Someone even emailed me that they'd found my story "moving" and that response in particular meant a lot to me.
There have also been a couple of comments along the lines that parts of the story where past events are recounted could have been tied into the flow better by making them into conversations between the main characters.
I understand that such comments are intended as positive criticism for a first time author like me and that is the way I take them. But I deliberately included some long sections where the flow of the story is interrupted by memories and feelings... I wanted my character to present as someone who spends a lot of time lost in thoughts and who questions their own feelings and direction almost constantly.
I've attempted to give another dimension to my character rather than simply have them constantly moving forward and always being pro-active. I wanted to give my character a personality which is not always fully involved and is often distracted by their own thoughts and feelings.
Partly this is so as to be true to the person the character is based on, and partly it is was my intention to use the responses of this character to provide context and background that would otherwise not be part of the story.
It's very important to me that the motivations and responses of my character are as important as the day to day activities that are described. I strongly feel that a D/s relationship is very much based on feelings, understanding and developing trust, which can only come from an ever deepening knowledge of those involved --- both collectively and individually.
Anyway, I don't want to go on and on about this... but I do hope my story comes across as something a little different to the average Lit story (if there is any such thing) and I would welcome any thoughts or comments on how the type of story I have written can be further developed...
In particular I hope my story gives a feel for what D/s is all about and I'm interested to hear those those who have experience of such relationships feel about both the content and tone of what I've written.
Best from v2
The final part (chapter 21) of my first Lit story has just been approved and I would welcome any comments. Here is a link to the first chapter:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=478801
All comment so far has been positive and I'm very appreciative of that... Someone even emailed me that they'd found my story "moving" and that response in particular meant a lot to me.
There have also been a couple of comments along the lines that parts of the story where past events are recounted could have been tied into the flow better by making them into conversations between the main characters.
I understand that such comments are intended as positive criticism for a first time author like me and that is the way I take them. But I deliberately included some long sections where the flow of the story is interrupted by memories and feelings... I wanted my character to present as someone who spends a lot of time lost in thoughts and who questions their own feelings and direction almost constantly.
I've attempted to give another dimension to my character rather than simply have them constantly moving forward and always being pro-active. I wanted to give my character a personality which is not always fully involved and is often distracted by their own thoughts and feelings.
Partly this is so as to be true to the person the character is based on, and partly it is was my intention to use the responses of this character to provide context and background that would otherwise not be part of the story.
It's very important to me that the motivations and responses of my character are as important as the day to day activities that are described. I strongly feel that a D/s relationship is very much based on feelings, understanding and developing trust, which can only come from an ever deepening knowledge of those involved --- both collectively and individually.
Anyway, I don't want to go on and on about this... but I do hope my story comes across as something a little different to the average Lit story (if there is any such thing) and I would welcome any thoughts or comments on how the type of story I have written can be further developed...
In particular I hope my story gives a feel for what D/s is all about and I'm interested to hear those those who have experience of such relationships feel about both the content and tone of what I've written.
Best from v2
