Never trust a man with a bow tie OR Why Orville Redenbacher is Satan

[Marxist]

I don't know about you guys but count me out on any "new" Popcorn sensations from the bow-tied one.

I've tried the absolutely awful Corn on the Cob variety and I just vomitted the PUTRID Kayro sweet / salty KETTLE CORN.

I remember when you could buy Orville's corn unsalted and unbuttered, leaving you to decide on how much and what kind.

It's back to air popped for me.




Is this a great thread or what?

 

[modest mouse]

I only like unbuttered lightly salted pop corn. The smell of any microwave popcorn makes me physically ill.

 

[morninggirl5]

There are actually five year olds in my class who had NEVER had popcorn that was kernels popped in a popper. I brought in popcorn and my air popper before Christmas for a movie and they were in awe. They all thought the only way to make popcorn was in a microwave.


This will be a better thread when you share the popcorn.

 

[Problem Child]

Maybe you have pinworms, and this has nothing to do with Orville Redenbacher.

 

[PacificBlue]

I recommend buying a Whirlypop. Yum! Yum! Yum!


www.popcornpopper.com


If you buy their popcorn though...it's very salty. I use my own popcorn and add butter and salt to taste. This handy gadget impresses friends...be prepared to make bowl after bowl.


ps...makes a great wedding gift as well.

 

[Marxist]

Maybe you have pinworms, and this has nothing to do with Orville Redenbacher.

Dear Man,

My alcohol consumption over the last week would kill that stomach busting fucker from Alien, let alone those pinworms in that poor child's poop.

But thanks for your concern.

 

[Problem Child]

Okay, just wanted to check. And the alcohol combined with the popcorn didn't do it?

Somehow I think we're not getting the whole story here.

 

[Laurel]

I puked popcorn once. It's like polishing your esophagus with Brillo.

 

[Marxist]

I've only had two beers today PC.

If you'd like to try the experiment yourself I'd be happy to loan you the remaining 5 bags of Orville's Pukefest Kettle Style.

I'll send a Delta Airlines Vomit bag along as well. You're gonna need it.

 

[Problem Child]

Hmmm. What if you were simultaneously hung over, had pinworms, and continuously puked popcorn for several hours?

That would suck.

 

[Problem Child]

I believe you. I buy the cheap house brands anyway. I mean, corn is friggin corn, right?

 

[Marxist]

The funny thing is I only had a small handful of Orville's stomach churning concoction.

It was the smell damnit, the SMELL!!!!!


I think I need a drink.