Negotiated Infidelity?

[JackLuis]

[QUOTE]'Sugarbabe' favors negotiated infidelity[/QUOTE]

Interesting concept, but I presume I'm 'preaching to the choir' here at the AH.

A long article but explores the various view points in infidelity.

New York (CNN) -- Could letting your man sleep with another woman help your relationship?

Author and former mistress Holly Hill thinks so.

"One of the main things that I have learned is that a woman that negotiates infidelity with her partner is far more powerful than a woman who is sitting home wondering why he's late from the office Christmas party," she says.

"It's better to walk the dog on a leash than let it escape through an unseen hole in the back fence."

And oooho!, she talking leather too!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Polyamory by any name would smell as sweet

 

[TE999]

'In jealousy, there is more self-love than love'.

 

[beauti4brown]

I must be on the right website after all. I read this this afternoon. Hum....you know it does have interesting concepts. Couples often 'talk' rather than 'communicate' and rarely are real motives and fears explored. she's on to a novel concept of communicating with your partner. But it's kinda the lazy way too. there are so many other ways to look at fidelity.....so many ways to tinker....but it's a good start.

 

[infid3l]

Very interesting. It's nice to see someone who is accepting of nature.

My mate and I have talked about sharing, there is concern the other person, the outsider, would get too attached and serious, or one of us would become too attached to the outsider.

If you're able to do this, have this open polyamory, all my props to you.

My mate and I aren't willing to chance losing eachother... or having someone get hurt if they get attached... There's also the insecurity, like, what if my love likes the outsider better than me. Other than that, if it wasn't for that, we'd probably have gone there already. Maybe one of these days

Thanks for sharing the article!

 

[JackLuis]

You're welcome.

All the participants seemed to prefer fidelity, but recognize our gender differences as well. Women are threatened by the thought of loosing her man to another. but you have to realize nobody else would put up with him.

 

[colddiesel]

Isn't "negotiated infidelity " an oxymoron.

 

[Trudy_Antone]

Being a serial monogamist, I'd have to side with the psychologists on this one, re: personality versus gender. There are a lot of faithful men out there (and ditto women). Not all men are programmed to have their brains in their dicks.

I've never felt the need to be unfaithful. Mind you, I've never fucked around full stop, let alone once in a relationship. Feeling a need to sleep with someone other than my partner would be the first indication that we were over.

Props to you if you can do it without the resultant jealousy and pain and heartbreak. It's just not for me.

Might add, I have definite standards when it comes to keeping my man happy. Be the Lady and the Slut at home and he'll never look elsewhere. (Unless he's a sex addict).

 

[voluptuary_manque]

My second Summer Lovin' entry posits a society where 'normal' marriages are all in pods with multiple husbands and wives. There's a new book due out in August very much on this subject. I've got it ordered. Not that it will change anything here in the cave. HM is an emphatic monogamist!

 

[Boota]

I used to work security in a swingers club and met a lot of people in that lifestyle. Some people can handle it, some can't. The tough thing is that you don't really know if you can handle it until it's too late. To a lot of people it sounded like they'd be okay with it, when it was an abstract idea, but once it was real everything came crashing down. I've seen it work and I've seen it crash and burn. Even people in it for a long time still get jealous and have problems with it.