Negative Stigma

[MrMannson]

I’m a 47 year old male, married to a beautiful woman for almost 30 years. Amazing sex life. A few years ago, she started playing with my asshole, and it drove me wild, to the point she used her dildo on me. Now, I find myself uncontrollably attracted to a nice cock and what it would feel like in my ass. And to play with one, or suck one. She has no idea, as I’ve been trying to get the courage to tell her.

I work in a high profile career. I’m scared if any came to light about my desires I would be ostracized and fired. I don’t know why I feel that way. Do I tell my wife, or continue this closeted arousal? I even find that I have a hard time, no pun intended, to have a heterosexual sustained hard on and cum with her unless my mind imagines something else. Help me, is this change in the direction to Bi a normal thing? How do I handle it?

 

[kuriozo]

I would hesitate to confess to your wife, don't risk having her start having strange ideas about you or think less of you in any way. Please trust me on this, woman's mind works in dangerous ways.
Having said that, I would encourage you to try some discrete sites where you can find clean, like minded guys as yourself that are curious and want to experiment.
I am one of those, in my fifties decided to try and I liked it.
No, I am not gay nor Bi, just a very sexual man that likes to feel and explore.
I recently, finally did it and it was fantastic, posted a short about it here and awaiting editorial aproval.

All the best

 

[MrMannson]

Thank you for your support. I really agree with you, and I have been hesitant for sure.

It’s strange, but I feel similar. I don’t find I have any attraction to males as in physical looks or anything. It’s all about the feel. I like having my ass played with and penetrated; up until now with just my wife’s fingers and on a couple of occasions she used her dildo on me but didn’t say anything.

I am curious about another cock. How it feels in my hand, to suck, to rub. It’s all about the feeling more than anything. And as messed up as it seems, it almost feels a little less like fooling around on my wife if it’s a guy as opposed to a woman.

I sometimes wonder about talking to someone discreet like you say. I wasn’t anywhere near feeling like this until-ironically- I had Covid in 2020. Somehow the feelings overcame me and I can’t stop thinking about the possibilities since.

 

[kuriozo]

I can tell you that I hesitated forever, even after finding likely candidates until I just went ahead and did it.

I hope they post my story soon so you can read of my experience, but it was really good, and to feel it inside your mouth or in your hands IS something else.

Can't speak to the morals of it while being married, as I am divorced and unattached at the moment.

 

[Saint_Ann]

This is the place a lot of older guys come to admit their gayness.

 

[kuriozo]

This is the place a lot of older guys come to admit their gayness.

Lol, for some maybe, others will not be labeled and enjoy their life as they want.

Cheers

 

[MrMannson]

Another guy sent me pictures of his cock, and I first said I’d send pics of mine but I’m a bit hesitant. Never done anything like this before.

Kind of funny, but I can’t wrap my head around how much I get turned on from it, then back off in fear.

Maybe one day. Just wish I had someone close to experiment with, behind closed doors.

 

[LMWM321]

Are you suggesting that your wife pegging you turned you bisexual or gay??

 

[MrMannson]

No, just the little thoughts creeping in my mind that because I’m a guy, it shouldn’t feel that good, or that I have feelings of wanting to feel a cock in my ass is making me lean towards bi and not straight.

 

[LMWM321]

No, just the little thoughts creeping in my mind that because I’m a guy, it shouldn’t feel that good, or that I have feelings of wanting to feel a cock in my ass is making me lean towards bi and not straight.

There is a growing awareness and acceptance that sexuality is not binary. We all fall somewhere between fully heterosexual and fully homosexual. It’s who you are… So just accept it. I wouldn’t worry about putting a label on it. It is what it is. As for telling your wife… Well, How good is your relationship? Ideally… You should be able to share who you are with your partner. But understand it could be quite disorienting to her to find out long after she has married you that you have desires to be with men. Which… To be frank… it seems you do. This is totally normal but also likely to be quite surprising to your wife. Or who knows, maybe not. She might have suspicions.

The bigger question is, what do you plan to do about it? Are you telling your wife that you can’t have a happy and fulfilled sex life without occasionally being with men? Yeah,… That’s apt to be a tough Convo. But if you’re just admitting to desiring men, but are committed to remaining monogamous with her…Well, then you’ve given her an avenue to try things in bed that may scratch the itch I.e., occasionally dress like a man, wear a strap-on dildo and letting you perform fellatio on it, be fucked with it, etc.

My only quibble with your post is your suggestion that enjoying something up the butt necessarily means somebody has gay tendencies. It doesn’t. It means they like the feeling of something up their butt. And that’s all it means.

 

[MrMannson]

Your reply makes a lot of sense. I guess when I really think about it, it’s all about the feeling and curiosity for me. I don’t desire men. I don’t have any desire whatsoever to kiss or embrace men. I don’t see men and think “oh he’s hot.” Or “I would like to fuck him.” I love women and find myself sexually attracted to them above all. It’s just sometimes I get curious.

I’ve slowly let my wife know some of my thoughts. We’ve had bedroom talk while having sex about a threesome with another guy. She likes the idea of her and I in a 69, with another guy fucking her from behind, and me licking her from underneath. She noticed how I started leaking and came very fast when I said about how close my tongue would be to his cock. I think she knows, I just haven’t crossed that bridge yet to tell her.

 

[Escierto]

There is definitely a negative stigma attached to it, even if it is just in your own head. When I encountered my first trans girl on cam and saw her cock, I was consumed with desires to suck her and be fucked by her. It took me a decade to come to terms with how I felt and what it meant.

Good luck on your journey wherever it takes you!

 

[MrMannson]

Thank you. Boy did your response hit home with me, it was worded perfectly. And like you, I felt funny when I saw a shemale that was a very attractive “woman “, with a cock between the legs. Never before had I felt attracted to someone like that. And with my day job, it would be devastating if it was out how I feel sometimes. It’s not right, but that’s the work environment I’m in. Thanks for commenting!

 

[Escierto]

Thank you. Boy did your response hit home with me, it was worded perfectly. And like you, I felt funny when I saw a shemale that was a very attractive “woman “, with a cock between the legs. Never before had I felt attracted to someone like that. And with my day job, it would be devastating if it was out how I feel sometimes. It’s not right, but that’s the work environment I’m in. Thanks for commenting!

As I am sure you can relate, it was a struggle that went on inside myself for a long time. Eventually I resolved my internal conflicts in a certain way but everyone has their own path in life and no one can say what is right for you.

 

[MrMannson]

As I am sure you can relate, it was a struggle that went on inside myself for a long time. Eventually I resolved my internal conflicts in a certain way but everyone has their own path in life and no one can say what is right for you.

I understand if you don’t want to get into details, but have you had bi or same sex or any experiences with a person other than a female? How did it happen, and more importantly how did you feel during and after?

 

[Escierto]

I understand if you don’t want to get into details, but have you had bi or same sex or any experiences with a person other than a female? How did it happen, and more importantly how did you feel during and after?

Eventually, I resolved to try having sex with a trans woman that I met for a week together. The sex was incredible but we did not work well together as a couple.

Based on that experience, I resolved to try again with a different trans woman. She and I have been together for the past six years and all is well. In our sexual relationship, she is the top and I am her bottom.

This is her.

 

[MrMannson]

Thanks for sharing. That’s very helpful. I don’t know if many trans around here, but there’s a few guys who I know would experiment.

My problem though, is they are too feminine and not trans. If it’s a hot shemale, that’s one thing. And as far as a man, I’d be willing to experiment with a manly masculine guy, no kissing or cuddling.

Maybe something IS wrong with me?

 

[PFWilly]

Thanks for sharing. That’s very helpful. I don’t know if many trans around here, but there’s a few guys who I know would experiment.

My problem though, is they are too feminine and not trans. If it’s a hot shemale, that’s one thing. And as far as a man, I’d be willing to experiment with a manly masculine guy, no kissing or cuddling.

Maybe something IS wrong with me?

Nothing wrong with you AT ALL.

You’ve experienced something new that makes you feel good, and the experience has opened some curiosity. Some of us had similar new things at an earlier point point in our lives, lucky us, since we managed to explore some new avenues.

Someone mentioned earlier that much of this relies on the relationship with your lady. She’s surely noticed that you get enjoyment from being pegged. Surely she must realize on some level why it feels good for you. Perhaps she’s wondering when you might open up to some possibilities, or at least some discussion.

There’s no reason why you have to admit this to the whole world. My wife knows of my bisexual interests, and my past history with other guys. It’s part of our foreplay..but ultimately this is your decision. I do understand the agony.

Good luck.

 

[Bookiegirl]

I’m a 47 year old male, married to a beautiful woman for almost 30 years. Amazing sex life. A few years ago, she started playing with my asshole, and it drove me wild, to the point she used her dildo on me. Now, I find myself uncontrollably attracted to a nice cock and what it would feel like in my ass. And to play with one, or suck one. She has no idea, as I’ve been trying to get the courage to tell her.

I work in a high profile career. I’m scared if any came to light about my desires I would be ostracized and fired. I don’t know why I feel that way. Do I tell my wife, or continue this closeted arousal? I even find that I have a hard time, no pun intended, to have a heterosexual sustained hard on and cum with her unless my mind imagines something else. Help me, is this change in the direction to Bi a normal thing? How do I handle it?

I would think as long as she felt you still cared about her most women would enjoy seeing her guy with another

 

[MrMannson]

I would think as long as she felt you still cared about her most women would enjoy seeing her guy with another

I would hope so. I remember a few years ago watching a show that had two guys in bed and she said she was curious but that was all. I might have to try and bring it up again.

While we have sex, I’ve been fantasizing about another guy doing things to me while I’m doing her. I feel guilty afterwards, especially when I cum from it and she feels like it’s what she’s doing. It makes me feel like a bad person.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

If you are having a rough time getting and staying hard and finishing with her, please tell her something. Anything you tell her will be better than what she is imagining.

This happened to me. He slowly became impotent with me, while being able to cum to his own hand. He told his doctor that the testosterone cream was great. He had morning wood. He could get hard, stay hard, and cum. I said maybe it's good for you but did you tell her the sight of your wife's pussy made you instantly soft.

At the same time, he was becoming very chimmy with an underage girl at work. I questioned him. I asked why he had to spend so much time with him. I even drew a parallel to an affair he had while we were engaged. And he denied it. It was all in my head.

As it turns out, he was very comfortable having conversations with her about his wearing of female clothes. They talked shoes, manicures, etc. He was thrilled he watched her spend 45 minutes putting her makeup on.

As he was opening up with a woman other than me, he was more and more thinking about making the decision to transition.
His impotence was indirectly related to her.
If he had been honest, perhaps the 3 of us could have talked. It would probably have helped him to have one big support circle rather than 2 independent ones.

We are apart 4 years, the damage couldn't be repaired. He transitioned almost 2 yrs ago. Rumor has it she is a stripper 1100 miles away from us.

Nobody was a real winner in his decision to be silent.

 

[MrMannson]

If you are having a rough time getting and staying hard and finishing with her, please tell her something. Anything you tell her will be better than what she is imagining.

This happened to me. He slowly became impotent with me, while being able to cum to his own hand. He told his doctor that the testosterone cream was great. He had morning wood. He could get hard, stay hard, and cum. I said maybe it's good for you but did you tell her the sight of your wife's pussy made you instantly soft.

At the same time, he was becoming very chimmy with an underage girl at work. I questioned him. I asked why he had to spend so much time with him. I even drew a parallel to an affair he had while we were engaged. And he denied it. It was all in my head.

As it turns out, he was very comfortable having conversations with her about his wearing of female clothes. They talked shoes, manicures, etc. He was thrilled he watched her spend 45 minutes putting her makeup on.

As he was opening up with a woman other than me, he was more and more thinking about making the decision to transition.
His impotence was indirectly related to her.
If he had been honest, perhaps the 3 of us could have talked. It would probably have helped him to have one big support circle rather than 2 independent ones.

We are apart 4 years, the damage couldn't be repaired. He transitioned almost 2 yrs ago. Rumor has it she is a stripper 1100 miles away from us.

Nobody was a real winner in his decision to be silent.

Very powerful response: thank you for sharing.

It makes so much sense. I’m slightly confused with myself, because there really are days that she turns me on like crazy and I can’t wait to get her naked.

I need to tell her. To be honest. I’m just scared of the outcome.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

Very powerful response: thank you for sharing.

It makes so much sense. I’m slightly confused with myself, because there really are days that she turns me on like crazy and I can’t wait to get her naked.

I need to tell her. To be honest. I’m just scared of the outcome.

Remind her how much you love her. How important she is in your life.
Talk about your curiosity. Do you think it's just a fleeting idea. Maybe watching some porn, together, would give you clarity
If it's something you really want to try, offer to let her be part.
I tought my ex how to give blow jobs. We had a few 3somes with another guy. We set strict boundaries and had fun.

If you want to pursue this privately, get her opinion. Maybe she wanted to experiment too. Let her. Be fair and reasonable.

This is your confusion but never make her think she isn't part of it. Most of all, remember, sex is supposed to be fun. If you aren't having fun, you are the problem. Be the solution

Keep me posted. Ask more questions.
Secrecy ruined my marriage and my relationship with my daughter.

Do better than me.

 

[Bookiegirl]

I would hope so. I remember a few years ago watching a show that had two guys in bed and she said she was curious but that was all. I might have to try and bring it up again.

While we have sex, I’ve been fantasizing about another guy doing things to me while I’m doing her. I feel guilty afterwards, especially when I cum from it and she feels like it’s what she’s doing. It makes me feel like a bad person.

Our minds and the fantasies that emerge, sometimes even during sex with a partner are … I believe just tools to enhance the experience of the intimacy. Sometimes while cowgirling Him , I’ll imagine another cock touching my lips

 

[2tallpaul]

Don't be surprised at what you might find out. I've had four girlfriends that liked to finger while giving head. My last said she would rock my world if i would listen. She had me shaved, rinsed and ready and used two fingers while giving oral. I felt like superman. she loved to use a plug about the size of a walnut during intercourse as she said it kept men harder. It's like there's a playbook out there for this. She already knows you like it so try a plug and she may love it. We play in a swingers group, all of us are professionals and we keep it low key and the group has changed members over the 35 years. If you work hard, it's a great stress relief.