Neep opinions on Threesomes PLEASE!!!

[Rashashea]

Ok, Hubby and I have been thinking about this for a while. A WWM Threesome. We have been married 6 years and want to spice it up some. I am bicurious but have never done anything yet. Anyway, we have found someone to try this out and I am torn between wanting to do it so bad that I can't stand it to not wanting to because I am a very jealous person and not sure I can handle seeing my hubby with another women. We have discussed it several times and he says that if I am not comfortable with it that he will forget it even tho I know he really wants to bad. We have also discussed the bounderies, he is only allowed to perform orally on her and I do not want him to kiss her in the mouth and he says that is fine. He says he doesn't want anymore, I really want to but not sure how I will feel after it is all said and done. What do you all think? Please be honest and if anyone is willing to email me about it I would greatly appriciate it.
rashashea@yahoo.com

 

[lilfrk]

Don't do it. You said yourself that you are a very jealous person and that you're not sure how you'll feel after it's done. Right there those are two really HUGE redflags that this is not a good idea. Something are best left as good thoughts. Maybe this is one of them for the two of you.

 

[superlittlegirl]

I have to agree with lilfrk

If you're jealous or uncertain, don't do it. I lost my last two girlfriends to the thirds we brought into our play-space. That's always a possibility, especially if there is something lacking in your sexual satisfaction already. And, you might not be prepared for the very real possibility that you might prefer sex with women, too. I'd say leave this alone unless you're feeling very secure within yourself, and the relationship, and most importantly, him.

I'd work on ways to make the two of you more sexually compatible/satisfied alone before bringing another in. How will you feel if it takes a third to make your sex life "perfect"? If you're a jealous person, it may nag at you that you didn't do it all on your own.

I hate to be a doomsayer, but really, think this over very very carefully before you do it, if you decide to. If he's willing to put the fantasy on hold for a while, it sounds like he's very understanding and flexible in regard to your needs. There is a lot of kink out there for two people to try-- maybe look into some areas of duo-sex that you haven't tried yet. Bringing in a third is just a very risky way to solve the problem.

--Freya

 

[ntp]

.....

 

[xx_La_Reina_xx]

you really need to think about what you are doing...

This is the kind of fantasy that can get you very excited, but it in reality bringing someone else into your relationship can do a lot of harm. You really need to take a step back and examine your relationship, and yourself.

Please be careful. Ask yourself first, is one night of sex worth the problems that it may bring into your relationship? Can your jealous nature handle this kind of addition to your sex lives? As a rule of thumb, if you think it will rock the boat a little, it may be best to just pass on it.

If you do decide to try it remember that it's hard to know exactly what you are going to feel until it is actually happenning. I also believe setting up guidelines beforehand is a good thing. You can use them as a comfort zone, and if everything is going well, you can choose to take things a step further.

Remember that you can't take things back...so really take some time to think about this....


*smile*
Reina

 

[Dr. B Evil]

All great answers...

...you just got the best advice about this issue than anywhere else on the net. In order for this to work, all three of you must be into it 100%. Any hesitance on any part should mean a no-go on the Three's Co Freeway!

 

[rrlr420]

I had a threesome with my x and i have to tell you in all honesty, it was the begining of the end of our relationship. She did it for my birthday and just couldnt handle it. Please if you want to spice up your relationship try things together, like toys, different places, anything. If you both arent certain that you can handle it then DONT.

 

[Overdrivenat40]

Forget about it, keep it a fantasy. You're already putting conditions on his involvement - no kissing on the lips, and no penetration? Not fair, so just keep it a fantasy in your minds..........

 

[hornycouple]

I don't usually reply to postings, but when I readthis, I had to! I am in a very similar situation as you. I am a female, have been married for 2 years, and want some spice in our marriage and considered this. My husband was apprehensive (because I also am very jelous) and I put very similar "restrictions" on the situation if we were to ever really do it. The more I thought about it, the more I didn't want to. I think it might be fun at the time, but afterwards it would definately not be worth it. There is too much at stake to throw it all away for one selfish act. I think we are going to try other fun things, like going to a strip club, experimenting with new exciting locations for sex and stuff like this. I love my husband too much to lose him, and I think I would end up resenting him for going thru with a 3some. It would be different if I was not married, but when you love the person then see him enjoy being with someone else, it would create major issues! Experiment with other things first, I bet the spice will return better then ever! I know it has for us, and we have just begun to do alot of different 1 on 1 things

 

[spinnaker]

You are all making good sense. Here's my story FYI. I did try this with my best girlfriend---we are both middle-aged & married, but indulge (from necessity---lol!) in special encounters. My fellow suggested a threesome, and when I told my friend, she said cool, and let's do it for my fellow too. We all were in perfect agreement beforehand that it was to be fun & for a one-time treat. Need I say the threesomes were awesome?---we were all soooo giving to eachother, no problems of jealousy, etc. But, none of us really wants to do it again.
So, unless you are very confident, carefully negotiate beforehand, and are totally into a swing lifestyle or are having some pure fun & recreation encounters, I wouldn't risk a good relationship.
Why not blindfold him and play at being two different women?

 

[alphacat]

what if

What if it was just you and another girl and your husband just watched? A lot of guys have fantasies about that sort of thing, and if you're both comfortable with it, that might be really enjoyable. (I've been asked, actually, to be the "other girl" in that situation, but I turned it down - but that's a long story).
However, I do have to agree with the other people who've responded - if you have reservations about him doing things with her, then don't do that. You probably will be jealous, even with the restrictions, and that's no fun.

 

[bharman4102]

i can only give you my experience, if that helps at all. one time i just wasn't into the idea of sharing her, but she really wanted to do it, so i did....but it wasn't after long thinking or discussing, more like, he was taking a piss, we were at his place, why dont we just do it. i still wish i just would have said no and left! not that the sex wasn't bad, its just that the whole time i kept thinking that she just wanted to fuck him and needed me there so it wasnt' cheating... it was a "her" experience....not an "our" experience. the other times i did it, it was definitely a joint thing. i think thats how you have to look at it. hope this helps.

 

[majinbuu1234]

i can only give you my experience, if that helps at all. one time i just wasn't into the idea of sharing her, but she really wanted to do it, so i did....but it wasn't after long thinking or discussing, more like, he was taking a piss, we were at his place, why dont we just do it. i still wish i just would have said no and left! not that the sex wasn't bad, its just that the whole time i kept thinking that she just wanted to fuck him and needed me there so it wasnt' cheating... it was a "her" experience....not an "our" experience. the other times i did it, it was definitely a joint thing. i think thats how you have to look at it. hope this helps.

o man...I would never be able to share my g/f wit another man. I mean shes never brought it up, but if she did...I'm too jealous to watch her fuck another man. It would make me feel unwanted. But if we were to have sex with another woman...that would be different. I would be all for that. I guess I'm just too selfish.

 

[Ukin]

I have been involved in 3 somes (plus 4 &6 somes) and as long as you are NOT the jealous type, as someone else said, it is fine, fun and sexy.
I suggest that you meet outside the home first...a hotel with a bar..and take it from there......it is fun..as long as BOTH want it. Many times it's the man who wants to try it, then ends up feeling jealous.

 

[Kinky couple]

What you need to decide is if you are doing this for you or for him.
If its for you then it should be about the pleasure this will bring you. If its something you want, then take from it what you need and enjoy all the benefits it offers You. Jealousy shouldn't be an issue if its what you want..... BUT if its for your husband, then there will be issues for you to deal with before and after. You need to Think it through thoroughly and consider who its for and what YOU BOTH will be getting from it. If the benefits are equal on both your parts, Then Go For It! If not, step back and reconsider

 

[KMM]

When it first happened to me, with two men, I really didn't want it to happen. Then I let it continue to please my boyfriend and got used to it, but I have never felt proud of myself about it even though it is handy having a spare man when one has finished!

I am just glad it happened when it did, over twenty years ago, before anyone ever thought of double penetration, because knowing my then-boyfriend, I have no doubt he would have wanted to try that as well. Ouch!

Think long and hard before you do it. I have been regretting it for a long time now and jealousy had nothing to do with it.

Good luck.

 

[SXCRgirl]

I will have to agree with all the responses here. If you have any reservations about it, don't. I have never been involved in a threesome, but my last S.O., wanted it. He and I talked about it as a fantasy and boy, it sure got us hot and bothered. I loved the idea of watching him perform oral sex on a woman because in my opinion he was just awesome. I could see the woman responding to him, just like I do. Of course, I'm biased, but it's not a crime.

We never went through with it because our relationship was shaky at best. I didn't want to bring another woman into it, even though we were going to do it with someone close to me. I just didn't feel comfortable sharing THAT part of my life with someone other than the two of us. He didn't want a WMM - for the same reasons. So we didn't. But, talking about it in bed certainly spiced up our sex life.

If you need to spice up your life, perhaps location, location, location could liven things up! He and I used to go to a movie during the week - pick one that isn't so popular, or one that we've already seen and have fun in there. It's a good thing we never got kicked out!!!

 

[wolf2002]

KMM

To KMM: Hi again. Whenever you're online again please let me know & send me a PM or something. I'd like to continue our conversation...

To the others: sorry to intrude...