Needing advice on women

[gakinkyboy]

I'm not sure what kind of response to expect to this post, but I figure that since I'm at my wits' end with things that I may get some helpful feedback on here. Simply, I need some advice on handling things with my girlfriend.

Unfortunately, my situation is not that simple, but I'll try to make it as simple as possible.

A Quick History Lesson
The girl who is currently my girlfriend has known me for almost two years and we've dated and had sex off-and-on for most of that time because I was involved in a long-distance relationship.

Well, that relationship failed and after some time off from serious involvement I started dating my now girlfriend. After about two months, we became boyfriend-girlfriend and we've been together for over two months.

My Problem
About a month ago she freaked out over our relationship and said she didn't feel comfortable having sex with me. She said she'd felt like she'd gotten over things from the past previously, but those feelings came back and she just didn't feel comfortable having a physical relationship with me.

Well, the other day we talked about things again because she has never really explained why she doesn't feel comfortable. She just says she feels uncomfortable and that she's afraid of what sex would do to our relationship.

My Question
What can I do to help her become comfortable and gain interest in sex? I'm not saying everything needs to be about sex, but it's a nice way to express how you feel about somebody. And it also concerns me about the future of our relationship if she's that uncomfortable with things, will she ever really be comfortable in our relationship.

Anyway, I appreciate any and ALL feedback the folks here can give me.

 

[English Lady]

I think you just need to be patient. It sounds to me like there is something she is worrying about and really you just have to wait till she's ready to talk about it.

Keep being loving and affectionate and reassure her that you're there for her whatever and see if youcan get her to talk to you about why she doesn't want to have sex.

above all let her know you love her and care for her. See what happens from there.

 

[matl]

???

English Lady could be right, but sounds to me like someone is trying to wrap you around her little finger. Be careful, and be sure you realy want a long term relation

 

[gakinkyboy]

what if she won't talk?

English Lady and matl,

Thanks for your advice. To explain some things a bit, I have been patient and I have tried to reassure her about my feelings. But she always has difficulties talking about her feelings, about anything!!!

It seems to me that I could be patient forever and I'd end up dying before she really sat down and talked to me about her feelings and fears.

 

[English Lady]

well maybe you need to tell her how you feel. how upset this is making you and how very concerned you are about her.
Let her know that you don't understand why she feels like she does and how it really gets you down.

you must be at the end of your tether to post this and I think your girlfriend is lucky to have you and maybe she needs to realise that because otherwise she will loose you.

 

[gakinkyboy]

she knows

English Lady,

I have told her how I feel and how frustrated I am by things. But the thing is that whenever I bring it up, she always says she doesn't know or that she hasn't thought about things.

I'm not wanting to end things, but it does frustrate me to all ends. If she could say she doesn't feel comfortable because of XYZ reason and it was something logical and she could explain her reasoning, I'd at least be able to understand. I might not be happy about her decision, but I could understand things better.

What drives me nuts is that she can't really give a logical explanation. It's basically the "just because" logic. I'm not saying she doesn't have a right to feel the way she does, but I'd appreciate a greater explanation.

Am I wrong to feel the way I do? Or am I perhaps placing too great an emphasis on wanting to make love to her? I'm not wanting to do something ALL the time, but at least sometimes when we have the opportunity it would be nice.

 

[English Lady]

no i don't think you're wrong for feeling the way i do....a girlfriend is someobne you are intimate with, otherwise they are just a friend.


Now you've explained further I am not sure she is the victim at all..it sounds like she may be manipulating you. Sounds almost like a power thing to me.

Maybe I am wrong but maybe she is trying to make you dump her? I dunno...

 

[waverlysgirl]

SUGGESTION ABOUT GF

Is there a chance that your girlfriend was sexually abused as a child? Sometimes the trauma of abuse will interfere with one's ability to be comfortable in an intimate relationship. Is there some aspect of the physical relationship that's bothering her or is it the whole thing? It's odd that suddenly she's being distant. Has something happened to her recently that she's not told you about? I would take the time, one evening, to talk to her about her fears. Be supportive and listen. Make sure you're both in a comfortable setting, whether it's her place or yours. Make sure you have plenty of time to talk and that there are no other appointments or distractions for the evening. Reassure her that you care for her and whatever might have happened in the past or recent past will not change your feelings for her (if that's the way you feel). Good luck. I hope everything works out.

 

[sheath]

Re: what if she won't talk?

English Lady and matl,

Thanks for your advice. To explain some things a bit, I have been patient and I have tried to reassure her about my feelings. But she always has difficulties talking about her feelings, about anything!!!

It seems to me that I could be patient forever and I'd end up dying before she really sat down and talked to me about her feelings and fears.

My boyfriend gets upset with me because it is hard for me to open up sometimes. There are times when I feel that my fears and concerns are either petty or immature, or that I feel like I complain too much about this or that. I know that it takes me a long time to get things straight in my head, so when my man asks me what I'm feeling, I tell him that I'm not sure because I don't know how to put it all into words.

Patience is the greatest of virtues, and also the most frustrating. But it sounds to me like you are doing very well with listening and being there for her to open up to. I guess you would just have to decide for yourself how long you are willing to give this relationship a chance. If she never opens up, at all, then you have to question whether you can live like that.

Good luck to you. You sound like a great guy, by the way.

S.

 

[ExtacyCouple]

I would explain to you girlfriend that you are interested in a sexual relationship and a relationship built on open comunication. If she can not provide that for you maybe you should just go back to bieng freinds. Just be prepared for the fact that she may not be able to give you what you want. The other thing to consider that if she does start having sex with you is she going to resent you for it. This will only cause bigger problems down the road.

 

[msbuzzy]

Committment Issue

I think that if she had sex with you before when you were already in a relationship with someone else then obviously something is wrong.

My opinion is that she had sex with you before when there was no threat of committment to a relationship with you. Now that you are not in that other relationship, maybe she does not want a serious relationship with you. Maybe she sees having sex now as committing to the relationship.

Then again maybe she is just not ready for this committment and the time will come.

Hope it all works out for you.

 

[SexyChele]

Well, you've opened this up for advice, and I'm afraid I'm not going to give you the advice you want to hear. Hey, that's the way it goes.

You state that while you were involved in a long distance relationship, you were dating and having sex with the girl who has become your current girlfriend. Correct? And let me ask you: do you see anything amiss here? I mean, really?

Okay, here's my "take", and I'm going with the presumption that your current girlfriend was aware of your long distance relationship:

1. Your current girlfriend knew you were cheating on your long distance relationship. (I'm also presuming that the long distance relationship was monogamous? Or suppose to be?) It very well could be your current girlfriend has it in her mind that if you cheated before, you might cheat again - this time on her. She also may feel some guilt, as she was the one you were cheating with, and not know how to express this. But, perhaps, by staying away from sex then, if you are cheating, then she won't get hurt. No, I'm not saying you are cheating now, but this might be what is running through her mind.

2. There are women who are simply afraid of commitment. They are perfectly happy dating and having sex with men who are "taken". As soon as those men become "available", they freeze up and are no longer interested. It could be that if you ended this relationship and started dating another woman, this gal would be all over you again.

3. If she won't talk to you about what is wrong or bothering her, then you have no communication. Without communication, you have no relationship. I would suggest sitting her down and letting her know that whatever is bugging her is affecting the relationship and if she wants to hold onto the relationship, then she needs to talk openly to you.

Keep in mind you may have to end the relationship. If she can communicate with you and you work everything out, then that would be great. And I hope that is what happens. If not, you need to move and let each of find what it is that you need.

 

[gakinkyboy]

responses to all

I'm really amazed by the amount of responses that I've gotten and although I'm not sure what's going to happen, I certainly appreciate everybody's feedback.
Since I've gotten so many varied responses to my additional posts, I'm going to take the time to respond one-by-one in this post.

English Lady:
I can understand what you're saying about her manipulating me, but that's not really her style. She's generally a very shy and timid girl. But at times I have felt like she wants me to end things so that way she doesn't have to bear the responsibilty of ending the relationship.

waverlysgirl:
I understand where you're coming from with your question, but to my knowledge she has not been abused in any form. And I'm not sure if anything's happened recently, but that's a valid point as well.

sheath:
Not to getting into giving others advice when I have my own troubles, but have you ever told your boyfriend that you're feeling something but just not able to express it in words yet? It may not seem like much, but at least it would give the guy a clue that you are feeling something but just unsure of how to express it clearly to him. I know it would help if I heard that from my girlfriend.
Thanks for your input though. You are right about patience, which I guess is what made me turn here to get some feedback from others.

ExtacyCouple:
I understand your points and appreciate them, but what do you mean by her resenting me if we started having sex again?

msbuzzy:
I didn't think about the sex as making a commitment issue, but you raise a very good point. That's something I may have to bring up with her later on.

SexyChele:
It's quite OK if the feedback I get isn't what I'd like to hear. Life is not all peaches and cream, so it's OK. Since you took the time to bullet things, I'll take the time to respond to them in that manner.
1: Yeah, I know that me cheating on my former girlfriend was/is bad and I'm not trying to say that I'm a great guy. I've admitted my wrongdoings to my current girlfriend and I've apologized for them and for treating her poorly during those times.
2: I understand the "if he cheated before, he could do it again" philosophy. And I have discussed that with my current girlfriend, but I think deep down she still has some insecurities because of my previous actions.
3: The "taken" aspect is something I've thought about, but I haven't brought it up with my girlfriend.
4: I have spoken with her about being more open when communicating with me. She is MORE than aware that it bothers me, so the ball is in her court now.

Well, thanks for all your feedback and ideas. If this post brings about more thoughts from folks, please keep them coming. I'm not sure when I'll address things with my girlfriend, but I'm always open to new ideas and such.

 

[PinkOrchid]

Re: responses to all

 

[ExtacyCouple]

What I meant by her resenting you is that if you sit her down and have one of these conversations to try to resolve this and she starts having sex with you she may be doing it just so she doesn't lose you or just to make you happy. If that is the case she will resent it. And then evry time she does have sex with you the resentment will just build inside her. The only reason I bring this up is because she has proven that she can't effectivly comunicate her feelings.

 

[gakinkyboy]

so should i broach the subject or not?

ExtacyCouple, I appreciate your response and I do understand what you mean by resentment now. I would hope that my girlfriend wouldn't start having sex with me in order to prevent losing me, but I understand your point.

So I guess that leads me to this question: is it worthwhile having a heart-to-heart discussion with my girlfriend about things?

 

[lovechild27]

well...if you want to be a good boyfriend, you tell her you respect her decision. If you really care about her, this will make sense and you and your hands can get well aquainted.

If you dont want to be a good guy, then manipulate her and she will end up hating you.

Give her some time. You pressuring her into things isnt going to make it better, it will make them worse. Ya, you will get laid but dont plan on her sticking around. Just relax and give her time...no one has ever died from a lack of sex!

 

[gakinkyboy]

Lovechild27,

I think you misunderstood my question. I don't want to manipulate her into doing anything, especially sex.

I was asking whether trying to have another discussion with her about my feelings would be fruitful or whether I should just wait for her to approach me with the matter.

I apologize if I was not clear in my previous post.

 

[chucky2]

gakinkyboy- This thread really interests me, since I've been going through something sort of similiar...well, at least the girlfriend has issues which then equals no sex part.

Based on my current experience, let me just say this:

Unless you are madly head over heels/can't live without her for the rest of your life/wanting to get married right now...just end the relationship.

The effort, which will directly mean time time time and more time, that you will have to spend solving this girls problems is just not worth it. You can already see that she isn't going to resolve this problem, she is going to sit on it, draw it out, stall, bring stress to your life, make you jump through hoops until you finally just end it.

Just so I'm clear, let me get this straight: She has sex with you when you already had a girlfriend, but is too shy to tell you a problem that affects a major part of the relationship (sex) and that obviously really bothers you?

Please.

You don't sound any older than me, which is no more than mid-20's. Don't waste your time on this problem.

She very well may have a trust issue with you because of your infidelity with your past girlfriend. In which case, you've apologized; not to mention you didn't even cheat on her in the first place. If she hasn't come to grips with this yet, then she probably never will. Which means, she'll never really trust you, which means not only no sex, but the relationship is doomed = just end it now.

She very well may be one of those girls that has a commitment problem. That's fine, it's her problem, not yours. Unless you happen to be a therapist, then I suggest you just keep movin' on, and let her figure herself out.

Don't get me wrong...if you really deeply care for this girl - like you have marriage plans - then your (plural) problem is worth solving. If this is the case, then however long she needs, and whatever support it needed, is never too much. Being there for her, showing her that you can be trusted and that you just aren't looking for the sex will mean a lot to her, and in the end it'll bring you closer.

However, if the marriage feeling isn't the case, then why continue wasting your, and her, time?

She has issues, not you. Since she has decided to let these issues affect the relationship, instead of communicate them to you, not to mention trying to solve them in a proactive manner, she's basically giving you the finger and expecting you to like it.

Sorry, a loving relationship doesn't work that way.

You've already said it's been a month, how much time is she going to waste?

What happens everytime she has an issue? Everything gets put on the backburner while she takes her sweet time figuring it out?

I'm sorry, but that's just the way I see it.

Chuck

 

[gakinkyboy]

Chuck,

Your understanding is correct. While I had a LD girlfriend, my now current girlfriend has sex with me. And recently has decided that she doesn't want to have sex with me because she feels "uncomfortable" doing that. It's been about since mid-September since she said that.

I understand what you're saying about the seriousness of our relationship, but I don't think either of us are really sure about that yet. I know I love her and care about her a lot, but I don't know how far I want things to go. And I say that regardless of the no sex part.

Out of curiosity, what is going on with your situation and what have you done? I'd like to find out more about your experience so I can get a better understanding of where you're coming from.

 

[chucky2]

gakinkyboy- OK, I understand a little better about how this relationship started. Thanks for confirming that.

I didn't want to crap on your thread with my relationship problems, but since you asked, I'll tell:

I met my girlfriend around 2 years ago and everything was great! The sex was great, and so the rest of the relationship. We just think alike in so many ways that it surprised me. We're still different people, but we have many of the same viewpoints.

However, after about 3 months, things began taking a downhill slide....

What was nightly sex/cuddling turned into maybe weekly sex/cuddling, which was fine, because we both had a heavy load of work, her moreso than me. This turned into bi-monthly sex/cuddling, which turned into once a month sex/cuddling, which turned into no sex but cuddling, which turned into her shrugging me off just laying next to her in bed, which turned into no sex for the past year and a half. No manual sex, no oral sex, nothing. Nothing of any kind.

She at first told me that nothing was wrong, that she was tired. I believe her, but after months, it goes from a reason to an excuse. Next it was that she was going to be honest with me: She had "burning" pain "down there". This was after about 6 months of no sex. When I told her to make an appointment with her OB/GYN, she got all worked up, saying her mom would have to do it and would want to know the reason. This from a 22 1/2 year old. So, her alternative was just to live with this pain until her next appointment, which at the time was in 3 months. So, I started hitting every Internet site I could find on pain down there. STD's, UTI's, you name it. Finally found a site that referenced vulvodynia, which is basically pain of the vulvar region. Some women have it so bad that even wearing underwear hurts, and a touch there with a Q-tip would make them curl up on the floor in pain. Others have unexplained pain in the vulvar region.

Understand up to this point, my girlfriend showed no sign of interest in sex or taking step 1 into getting to the bottom of this pain, which understandably would cause her not to want sex. Her plan of action (or lach thereof) was to do nothing in the hope that it would go away, no matter if that took years, much less think about my needs.

So, I find Internet sites dedicated to vulvodynia and read her some of the symptoms, and she readily agrees that is what she has. I tell her great, now we can schedule an appointment with your OB/GYN and talk to her about it. This she was very reluctant to do, citing that she would just rather wait for her scheduled appointment 3 months down the road. I went along with this at first, thinking that maybe she'd see the light and move up her appointment. She of course didn't.

After about 9 months of no sex (basically a cold shoulder), I came clean that her inaction on her problem was very frustrating to me. That the lack of sex, any type, was really starting to stress me out, and that even some type of contact would be welcomed. She said that it was hard to do anything, because she just wasn't in the mood (presumably from the pain).

At this point, I was still under the impression that my needs meant at least slightly more than nothing to her, so I kept on being supportive and researching vulvodynia. Finally, her appointment came, and she went (I had a test, so I could not go with her). When I got back, I asked her how it went. She nonchalantly said "fine." I asked her what the OB/GYN said about her pain, and unbelievably, she said, "I didn't tell her about it. I didn't think to." WTF? I was really upset, but I figured OK, maybe she did forget. I suggest she call the OB/GYN and talk to her about it, and she comes up with what amounted to same lame excuse on why she didn't want to (for the life of me, I can't remember what it was. It was so lame, I made an excuse about having to go get a book out of my room, and went and laughed. You know the kind of laugh I'm talking about, the one where you can't believe someone just said/did something so rediculous it's funny). So a few days later, I ask her if she can just make another appointment for when we can both go, and she says no, the OB/GYN doesn't have another opening for another 6 months. Not believing this, I tell her that I'll call the OB/GYN and find out if she can get in, to which she says...now get this:

"I have to be honest: I really don't have pain down there." WTF?!?! I ask "What?", maybe thinking I'm not hearing her right. Since, for the past 9 no-sex months, she's been telling me, "Its the pain, its the pain". Now, she's telling me there wasn't really any pain down there at all. So, for 9 months, she has been lying to me. Not only lying, but also not even taking care of my needs, not once. She says that she just doesn't feel like it, that she loves me, but she just feels like she doesn't want sex. That she feels "uncomfortable" about it, and really can't describe why.

So, for the past year, we've basically had no sex.

I'm sorry, but I'm at the point where even if she did turn into a horny person, like she was when we first met, I don't know if I would marry her. A year ago, I would have loved to marry her.

But I'm sure as hell not signing up for life with someone who is so inconsiderate of my needs that they will lie to me just so they don't have to have a talk with me on what the problem is with the no sex part in our relationship.

It's fine if she doesn't feel like it. However, I do. A freaking blow job or even hand job once a month or two isn't asking very much at all.

So, gakinkyboy, this is where I'm coming from. I basically thrown away college life to be with this girl monogamously, only to have her make escuses on why she can't have sex.

There have been so many times where I could have cheated and no one, except for me, would have known, but I didn't.

My advice to you is to really do some soul searching and ask yourself if this is how you want to spend the next 50 years of your life. Relationships are a two way street, not a give give give while the other person take take takes.

She is almost assuradely getting what she wants, while your getting short changed.

The real crime is she doesn't even care enough of your needs to at least do something with you once in a while. This to me is unacceptable.

Man, now I'm pissed and tired of typing.

I hope some of the above was coherant, because I'm not going back and editing it.

Chuck

 

[gakinkyboy]

wow!

Chucky2,

That it is some amazing stuff. I'm hardly sure of what's appropriate to write in a reply. I can definitely understand your frustrations, or at least sympathize with you. I'm really baffled as to why she'd lie to you for so long, but since I don't know her I won't make any judgments.

I definitely agree with you about relationships being a give-and-take deal. I don't think anybody would disagree on that issue.

I guess I'm just not sure what the future might hold for my girlfriend and I since we're both unsure about what we want from the relationship. I love her and care about her a lot, but I'm not sure if she feels the same way on the same level about me.

I'm also afraid that if I bring this up again, after having broached the subject with her previously, she'll just see it at me being horny and not caring about her feelings and just wanting sex. That's not the case, but I'm sure it could be interpreted that way.

Well, as it is late, I guess I had better do some thinking about this. If knew she did even the slightest bit of thinking about things I'd feel a lot better, but perhaps I'm asking for too much.

 

[Willing and Unsure]

Originally posted by chucky2
It's fine if she doesn't feel like it. However, I do. A freaking blow job or even hand job once a month or two isn't asking very much at all.

*edited to add* chucky, you can give yourself a hand job too when you're in the mood. she's not the only one with hands, especially if you're able to type.

I'm sorry to hear of your situation chucky, but things do happen sometimes where a girl really just doenst feel like having sex or anythign to do with it. these few sentences in themselves explains to me why she didnt want to have a talk with you about this. I've been in a situation where I just lost all interest in sex for no reason. It confused the shit outta me too. and my boyfriend at the time didnt understand even though he tried to, but he let it go and was supportive of me and there for me when I needed him to be. and I was there for him too when he needed me. but he didnt ask me for a blowjob or a handjob once a month or two. he waited till I was interested again.you're girlfriend is young, the hormones in her body are still changing and she's still getting used to some of them I'm sure. and those hormones have an effect on the body and how it reacts to the idea of sex. sometimes we all just have to accept that there is no explanation for why someone feels the way they do. if she says she still loves you, I dont think she's going to deny you sex unless she's just not interested, not because it's you. Unfortunately for you though, her excuse of the pain worked for her to get you to not pressure her for sex. Which is not what you want to do if she isnt interested.

gakinkyboy, I dont really know what to tell you. if you do bring this up with her and she says it's because you're just horny and wanting sex, explain to her why you're bringing it up. I'm sure the horny bit is part of it, but not the leading role in why you want to talk about it. be honest with her and tell her that you care about her and want to make sure that she's okay and want to be there for her if there is something wrong (well, even if there isnt.. but you get what I mean). be patient with her cuz I'm sure it isnt that easy for her to talk about either.

 

[chucky2]

Sorry to all that have been following this thread. I've been away from a computer for the last few days, so I wasn't able to read or respond.

gakinkyboy- Thanks for your sympathy, it is appreciated.

As for your problems, I really only see two courses of action, both of which you will have to choose:

Come to the conclusion that this relationship is on shaky ground, basically due to some issue/issues your girlfriend is having but not caring enough to tell you about. This equates to a lack of trust and understanding on her part - not yours. You are trying to work through the problem, she is prolonging it. There is no other way to look at this, these are the facts. You will have do a gut check here:

1. Either you are willing to expend time (which you will never get back, unless you invent a time machine) on her problem, and how long this problem continues is solely up to her, upon which the relationship can continue in a normal way...until of course she has another problem are does the same thing, upon which you'll be back in the same boat

or

2. Realize that this is not how you want to spend the rest of your life, that there are other women out there who are more mature and especially considerate of not only their, but your needs, and that you are simply wasting not only her but your time also. End the relationship and set her and yourself free.

There is just no other way to analyze this. One could put some type of spin on it, sugar coat it with a bunch of "understanding" type talk, but in the end it all boils down to the fact that you will have to decide: Do you want to be with this girl for the rest of your life? If yes, then the time expended on her (which makes it your) problem is wholely worth it. If no, then move on.

It's as simple as that.

Willing and Unsure- Believe me, both my left and right hand have been very busy pleasuring myself.

As for the sentences you quoted and referenced, there is of course more to it than that.

I didn't harp on her about not having sex until basically after I found out about the little doctors visit and the inaction on "the pain." Especially after all the time, my time, spent researching the pain and mostly because I am so supportive and understanding with her.

After that however, the game changed so to speak.

You don't mislead someone, someone by the way that loves you so much and that you supposedly love the same, for 9 months and then when they find out they are being mislead act like they have been badgering you.

Sorry, mama didn't raise not fool here: This is called "being used", plain and simple.

I honestly don't think it's me (not being macho or typical "guy" here, I've done MUCH soul searching, and I just don't think it's me), especially after we've had many heart to hearts (well, the pain confession was a heart to heart also, so you can see my skepticism now) and she has said it wasn't me, even after I told her if it was me, tell me what it was/is and I would change.

Still, the problem persists.

As for not giving me some type of phyiscal attention and least once in a while: If I stopped talking to her except in the most basic "Yes" "No" sense, you can bet she voicing big issues on what was wrong, why aren't you talking to me the way you used to? Then, she would want action. But when it's her, well, then I'm just expected to "be supportive" and wait for her to work it out?

How? HOW? Does this logic prevail?

It doesn't, plain and simple.

Where the idea that men are expected to "be supportive" of women when they have problems, but women on the other hand aren't supportive of the men's problems, came from I don't know (most likely women I would think), but I'm sure as hell not going to follow it.

Women want to be treated like men, well, they now have it. I would expect a male friend of mine to help me out when he didn't feel like it (I'm talking in the non-sexual sense here, also I'm talking about good friends), same as he would expect me to do the same.

Yet, my girlfriend (damn close to being my fiance') can't help me with sexual release, after she creates a huge sexual release problem in the relationship? Whatever.

To all the guys (hell, the ladies too) out there, listen up gakinkyboy: Relationships are a two way street. Relationships are about understanding, sacrifice, sharing, compassion, and love. If the person you are with can't provide you with these things, it's time to move on. Unless of course all your doing is using the person for something else.

Got to go...

Chuck

 

[gakinkyboy]

following your own advice?

I've only got two things to respond to from your post Chuck.

You don't mislead someone, someone by the way that loves you so much and that you supposedly love the same, for 9 months and then when they find out they are being mislead act like they have been badgering you.

Sorry, mama didn't raise not fool here: This is called "being used", plain and simple.

Chuck, I gotta ask if you follow your own logic on this post. If you're so frustrated and upset about this relationship why are you staying in it? It appears that your girlfriend does not have the same feelings for you as you do for her, so why are you dragging things out?

To all the guys (hell, the ladies too) out there, listen up gakinkyboy: Relationships are a two way street. Relationships are about understanding, sacrifice, sharing, compassion, and love. If the person you are with can't provide you with these things, it's time to move on. Unless of course all your doing is using the person for something else.

I agree that relationships are supposed to be a two-way street, and it seems that yours has stopped being one a long time ago. So why do you keep driving in the wrong direction?