Need somebody to screw

[jaF0]

Super hot centerfold quality girl, somewhere in her 20s

Not just someone who THINKS she's centerfold quality, but who really is. Don't mind implants as long as they don't look like implants.

Tall girls are better, 5'7" or more

NO Tattoos or excess piercings. More than two per ear is excessive in my eyes.

Gotta be willing to be a bit kinky, but not too far.

Must Love Heels!!!

(Yeah, I know, it ain't gonna happen. Story of my life.)

 

[Desire4More]

I admire your honesty but ... REALLY?!

I need somebody to do my yardwork

Super strong Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality person

Not just someone who THINKS he or she is Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality, but who really is. Don't mind a gas powered mower as long as it doesn't smell or sound like a gas powered mower.

Tall people are better, 7'5" or more (for a little tree pruning while you're at it)

NO camo tank tops or excess work gloves. More than two gloves per pair of hands is excessive in my eyes.

Gotta be willing to be a bit of a multi-tasker, but not too far (I don't want you planting stuff in my garden or anything)

Must Love Wheels!!! (i.e. hope you have a ride-on mower)

 

[Zulae]

I admire your honesty but ... REALLY?!

I need somebody to do my yardwork

Super strong Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality person

Not just someone who THINKS he or she is Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality, but who really is. Don't mind a gas powered mower as long as it doesn't smell or sound like a gas powered mower.

Tall people are better, 7'5" or more (for a little tree pruning while you're at it)

NO camo tank tops or excess work gloves. More than two gloves per pair of hands is excessive in my eyes.

Gotta be willing to be a bit of a multi-tasker, but not too far (I don't want you planting stuff in my garden or anything)

Must Love Wheels!!! (i.e. hope you have a ride-on mower)

Thank you for my favourite post of the last 4 weeks Hilarious!
You're a great one

 

[auralforelectra]

I admire your honesty but ... REALLY?!

I need somebody to do my yardwork

Super strong Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality person

Not just someone who THINKS he or she is Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality, but who really is. Don't mind a gas powered mower as long as it doesn't smell or sound like a gas powered mower.

Tall people are better, 7'5" or more (for a little tree pruning while you're at it)

NO camo tank tops or excess work gloves. More than two gloves per pair of hands is excessive in my eyes.

Gotta be willing to be a bit of a multi-tasker, but not too far (I don't want you planting stuff in my garden or anything)

Must Love Wheels!!! (i.e. hope you have a ride-on mower)

^ that is funny. Lol.

 

[2TryAnything]

I admire your honesty but ... REALLY?!

I need somebody to do my yardwork

Super strong Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality person

Not just someone who THINKS he or she is Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality, but who really is. Don't mind a gas powered mower as long as it doesn't smell or sound like a gas powered mower.

Tall people are better, 7'5" or more (for a little tree pruning while you're at it)

NO camo tank tops or excess work gloves. More than two gloves per pair of hands is excessive in my eyes.

Gotta be willing to be a bit of a multi-tasker, but not too far (I don't want you planting stuff in my garden or anything)

Must Love Wheels!!! (i.e. hope you have a ride-on mower)

* cringe *

Ouch!!

He's right, though.

As my lovely wife would say, "You've got a better chance of seeing God!"

 

[QuantumJumping]

Super hot centerfold quality girl, somewhere in her 20s

Not just someone who THINKS she's centerfold quality, but who really is. Don't mind implants as long as they don't look like implants.

Tall girls are better, 5'7" or more

NO Tattoos or excess piercings. More than two per ear is excessive in my eyes.

Gotta be willing to be a bit kinky, but not too far.

Must Love Heels!!!

(Yeah, I know, it ain't gonna happen. Story of my life.)

What the Hell are YOU bringing to the table?
I'm certain a babe like that can do way better than you.
Unless you've got 50 million to spend on her.
She'll shop high end designer. One pair of shoes can cost 5 grand or more.
BTW, her pussy feels just the same as every other woman's.
Just sayin'

 

[LWulf]

I'm much better at hammering, than screwing. Screwing for me requires power tools.

Dude. Seriously, nice way to put a "kick me" sign on yourself.

 

[margohavefun]

Was this playful sarcasm or are you serious right now?

 

[jaF0]

Hey, they gotta be getting screwed by somebody.

 

[Red320319]

Let's chat

 

[Hornywife66]

The best thread I have seen today.

 

[2TryAnything]

The best thread I have seen today.

Horneywife66, your profile makes me wish I were 20 years younger!

 

[foxseeker]

Super hot centerfold quality girl, somewhere in her 20s

Not just someone who THINKS she's centerfold quality, but who really is. Don't mind implants as long as they don't look like implants.

Tall girls are better, 5'7" or more

NO Tattoos or excess piercings. More than two per ear is excessive in my eyes.

Gotta be willing to be a bit kinky, but not too far.

Must Love Heels!!!

and tell her not to forget to buy you beer on the way over as well.

 

[QuantumJumping]

Yep

Hey, they gotta be getting screwed by somebody.

Somebody with some body!

Definitely not you.

 

[Gearheadgirl]

Bwahahahahahah!

 

[Desire4More]

Thank you for my favourite post of the last 4 weeks Hilarious!
You're a great one

Awww, why thank you.

Would you like me to tend to your lawn?

 

[Zulae]

Awww, why thank you.

Would you like me to tend to your lawn?

Only if you don't plant stuff in my garden

 

[jaF0]

With apologies to Jefferson Airplane:

Don't you want somebody to fuck?
Don't you need somebody to fuck?
Wouldn't you love somebody to fuck?
You'll never find somebody to fuck!!

 

[Desire4More]

Only if you don't plant stuff in my garden

Touché!

FWIW, I am always carrying my seeds when I come to do lawn maintenance for a lady but, perhaps, I could arrange to spill them elsewhere.

 

[Que]

Super hot centerfold quality girl, somewhere in her 20s

Not just someone who THINKS she's centerfold quality, but who really is. Don't mind implants as long as they don't look like implants.

Tall girls are better, 5'7" or more

NO Tattoos or excess piercings. More than two per ear is excessive in my eyes.

Gotta be willing to be a bit kinky, but not too far.

Must Love Heels!!!

(Yeah, I know, it ain't gonna happen. Story of my life.)

If you KNOW it ain't gonna happen, it won't.

Generally in my fantasy world things like that WILL happen. Until they don't...and just because it hasn't happened often doesn't mean it won't soon!

 

[bobbyinhouston]

Seeking

I admire your honesty but ... REALLY?!

I need somebody to do my yardwork

Super strong Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality person

Not just someone who THINKS he or she is Scott's Fertilizer commercial quality, but who really is. Don't mind a gas powered mower as long as it doesn't smell or sound like a gas powered mower.

Tall people are better, 7'5" or more (for a little tree pruning while you're at it)

NO camo tank tops or excess work gloves. More than two gloves per pair of hands is excessive in my eyes.

Gotta be willing to be a bit of a multi-tasker, but not too far (I don't want you planting stuff in my garden or anything)

Must Love Wheels!!! (i.e. hope you have a ride-on mower)

I know I'm going to be in trouble for this but I do not know many Mexicans taller than 5-5. You can find them at Home Depot though.

I myself am looking for a 5-0 to 5-6 of Italian descent who knows her way around the kitchen and looks good in a French Maid outfit.

 

[Seasidegal]

I'm 5'7" in heels.... And in my mind I qualify... Lol

 

[annayarnkitten]

With all the pics of shoes I thought you were a girl..... Might want to change that.


A

 

[jaF0]

With all the pics of shoes I thought you were a girl..... Might want to change that.

They're like bait. Fishing for the right hard body sub to wear them.

 

[stude_cruiser19]

at last an honest opinion

too much on here is totally fake, just TOTALLY fake, or photo shopped, or way beyond belief. At least here is someone who puts his desire out front. Not only hilarious, but refreshingly candid and real.

clapclapclapclapclapclapclap

( my humble attempt at typing applause )