Thoggy
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2007
- Posts
- 408
Hello good people of Lit...
I have had the pleasure of talking with a number of you through threads and PMs as well as occasional forays into instant messengers and even phone calls. So, first off, thrilled to be part of this community.
My instincts tend to the dominant and I wanted to raise a common issue and see if any of you smart cookies have figured it out.
The issue is this. With online relationships, the dominant/submissive relationship is hampered by a lack of consequences. Put simply, if we are in a real life d/s relationship and you disobey, then I can react. I can change my tone and my demanour, I can physically touch or (depending on what we have agreed upon) restrain or move you. For some women, this ability to test boundaries and see the man react and control them is a huge turn on.
Online is quite different. If you disobey, I can send you an email or IM. I can post in a thread how you aren't behaving. In all of these, I am not coming at it from a position of power. Instead, I am saying, "Hey..how come you aren't being submissive. Come on..be submissive. Please?" This has the effect of totally killing the mood.
The challenge is that for an online d/s, the submissive needs to not just make the decision to submit once, but again and again. This is fundamentally different from in real life where once you give permission to the other to be in charge, he has lots of options.
I would love to hear if anyone has any creative ways around this dilemma. I love meeting new women and exploring their submissive side, but I have seen this issue come up a few times.
I will put the question this way:
Does anyone have tips or suggestions on how I can establish an online dominant role that allows the submissive to "act out" and get the satisfaction of my being able to make them submit?
As this is in the personals section..uh...any women want to explore this? You there, how about you?
T
I have had the pleasure of talking with a number of you through threads and PMs as well as occasional forays into instant messengers and even phone calls. So, first off, thrilled to be part of this community.
My instincts tend to the dominant and I wanted to raise a common issue and see if any of you smart cookies have figured it out.
The issue is this. With online relationships, the dominant/submissive relationship is hampered by a lack of consequences. Put simply, if we are in a real life d/s relationship and you disobey, then I can react. I can change my tone and my demanour, I can physically touch or (depending on what we have agreed upon) restrain or move you. For some women, this ability to test boundaries and see the man react and control them is a huge turn on.
Online is quite different. If you disobey, I can send you an email or IM. I can post in a thread how you aren't behaving. In all of these, I am not coming at it from a position of power. Instead, I am saying, "Hey..how come you aren't being submissive. Come on..be submissive. Please?" This has the effect of totally killing the mood.
The challenge is that for an online d/s, the submissive needs to not just make the decision to submit once, but again and again. This is fundamentally different from in real life where once you give permission to the other to be in charge, he has lots of options.
I would love to hear if anyone has any creative ways around this dilemma. I love meeting new women and exploring their submissive side, but I have seen this issue come up a few times.
I will put the question this way:
Does anyone have tips or suggestions on how I can establish an online dominant role that allows the submissive to "act out" and get the satisfaction of my being able to make them submit?
As this is in the personals section..uh...any women want to explore this? You there, how about you?
T
