Need Some Quick Help

[RedMonkeyButt]

Kissing my way up the front of his briefs again I took the waist line in my teeth and pulled it down, helping the process along in the back with my hands.

Would this be better?

Kissing my way up the front of his briefs again I took the waist line in my teeth and pulled it down.

I just wrote this and it bugs me. Taken completely out of context, does it bug you, too? I'm still working on this story and so way too close to analyze it right now. It's the part after the comma that gets me the most.

EDIT: And only now I realize that needs to be waist band not waist line. *le sigh*

Any help is much appreciated. Thanks in advance.

 

[PennLady]

LOL "Band" was going to be my suggestion. I also didn't get the part about the "back of my hands" in the first example. That sounded really awkward. It works fine without it, but if you want that there (maybe in another sentence?) you could say something about helping the process by adding fingers or something like that. There's probably a better way to say that but I can't quite think of it.

 

[sr71plt]

I think the shorter version reads better.

"wasitband" is one word.

There should be a comma after "again" (to separate the introductory gerund clause).

 

[RedMonkeyButt]

Awesome. Thanks, folks! *hugs and runs off*