Need some advice

[seat542]

This is my first post and I'm not really sure how this all works...so...

My inquiry is in reference to my writings...

I have no published 11 stories and although many have read them (or at least looked at them) the voting is low; feedback from readers is good but.... Also, in comparison to many "HOT" stories, I believe mine are as good...(a bit of ego here I guess)...

So how does one go about druming up votes or getting a following?

One concern is my scenes are mixed with various sexual interests...from romance to enemas...If I post on romance....one scene may be too bold...If I post on fetish.....the romance may kill it...

Am I off base?

Any suggestions?

Thanks

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Let me see. You have 11 stories posted. two are posted in the "dead zone" of Novels/Novellas (do expect a lot of votes there), one is Fetish and the rest are divided between two great long multi-chapter stories.

I read Karen Chapter 1. Your opening is dull and lifeless, leaving asking myself, "do I really want to read this?" I suspect that is true of a lot of readers.

Then after two one line paragraphs you launched into twenty plus paragraphs a discription until finally there was a bit of dialogue. I didn't really find it all that interesting. Then more and more paragraphs of discription.

Then I looked at Weather Girl Chapter 1. Same thing. Twenty some paragraphs of not very interesting expostulation burying just a bit of dialogue followed by twenty more paragraphs of dismal expostulation.

Does this tell you something?

 

[seat542]

Hmmmm.....

If you would...give me an example of a story you consider great.....

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Hmmmm.....

If you would...give me an example of a story you consider great.....

This one is good. It does all the things yours doesn't. It has a great first paragraph that grabs the reader. It has lots of dialogue interaction between the characters. The main thing is, the characters tell the story, the writer doesn't.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=351456

Quite frankly, your technical writing skills are pretty good, but you need to start writing for your audience. Write, not just what they want to read, but written in a way that appeals to them. The attention span of a lot of readers on Lit seems to be pretty short, in my opinion, at least until they get past the first few paragraphs. After that, they foregive a lot of errors.

 

[gauchecritic]

Hi Seat, welcome to the AH, you sure picked a doozy for a first post.

I'll tell you what it is seat (to me) it's all very proper. Apart from a few typoes and paragraph screw ups I couldn't find anything wrong with the writing. It was all perfectly clear and sensible.

that's the problem. I couldn't hear your 'voice'. It was rather dispassionate. It seems to me to be a story with the people left out.

Can I point you to the good stuff?

Shanglan. Mabeuse. Rumple. Wildsweetone. Cant. the list is large, suffice to say many of the AH regulars.

For quirky but still readable Jenny, Mathgirl.

In a class of their own. Me. (that's first grade by the way)

 

[Stella_Omega]

I just took a very quick glance at "The Weather Girl 1."

I think you have some talent. I think you have enough talent that some writing classes would not be a waste of your time. I hear the beginnings of a voice, a good, clear, middle American voice. I also notice that you begin your story twice, though-- two prologues as it were.

I disagree with Jenny-- I don't think that particular offering is especially great. Your story has its flaws-- Danielle's story completes the list, IMO. Sure, there's action and dialogue, but you have no idea who is talking or what these actions portend. A hundred new characters are mentioned after those three asterisks-- who the hell are they? This is a great first chapter ONLY if you know it's the first chapter of the third book in a series.

 

[seat542]

Okay,

Love the open can of worms....

At this point I've read thru Stella Omega and thank all....

I'm going to redigest, regroup and think for a moment....or two...

Bottom line...I love this....