Need help.

[hotsnatch6]

Sarah trembled as she thought of what was about to happen to her. She never could have imagined being in this situation just a few days prior. But how she came to be here now was irrelevant as there was no going back. She lay there on the bed with her skirt hiked up above her waist and her top and heels still intact. She had no panties on and her nakedness was visible to her companion, her wetness plainly evident as he soaked in her beauty. Her soon to be lover was actually her boss, a man she had gone to work for only a couple of weeks ago. She had taken the summer job to earn extra money for college but had never dreamed that she would find herself about to have sex with the man who had interviewed her earlier that summer. She wanted the paycheck and the experience working in an office would provide, but now she was about to get a whole new experience.

What do you think so far? I thought I'd put the premise out there this time before I wrote the whole story. And is there some way I can work in the phrase "hot beef injection" without it sounding contrived? I have always enjoyed that expression.

Thanks for your help.

 

[Totzman]

Sexxy! I like it. I think you should go for it. As for the HBI line, I don't know. Maybe if you have one of the characters say it jokingly.

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

... And is there some way I can work in the phrase "hot beef injection" without it sounding contrived? ...

Yes. Have him say it as he approaches his/her climax (bareback, of course), and then afterwards he explains that he read it in a cheesy story and it stuck in his mind.

My similar phrase is "a taste of the mutton dagger".

 

[agedmac]

Yes. Have him say it as he approaches his/her climax (bareback, of course), and then afterwards he explains that he read it in a cheesy story and it stuck in his mind.

My similar phrase is "a taste of the mutton dagger".

His 'all beef patty filling her seesame seed bun'?

'porking her with his weinersnizle'?

filling her soft flower petals with his dagger of honey seed?

 

[sxyhotwfe6649]

Sarah trembled as she thought of what was about to happen to her. She never could have imagined being in this situation just a few days prior. But how she came to be here now was irrelevant as there was no going back. She lay there on the bed with her skirt hiked up above her waist and her top and heels still intact. She had no panties on and her nakedness was visible to her companion, her wetness plainly evident as he soaked in her beauty. Her soon to be lover was actually her boss, a man she had gone to work for only a couple of weeks ago. She had taken the summer job to earn extra money for college but had never dreamed that she would find herself about to have sex with the man who had interviewed her earlier that summer. She wanted the paycheck and the experience working in an office would provide, but now she was about to get a whole new experience.

What do you think so far? I thought I'd put the premise out there this time before I wrote the whole story. And is there some way I can work in the phrase "hot beef injection" without it sounding contrived? I have always enjoyed that expression.

Thanks for your help.

It's actually a wonderful beginning fraught with all sorts of erotic and arousing possibilities. I wouldn't worry about using that cliched line and focus on what's going through her mind as the action unfolds.

 

[silverwhisper]

i honestly can't imagine a way to work the phrase "hot beef injection" into anything in a way that's positive--i just think the phrase is goofy and the opposite of sexy, myself.

i do like the snippet you shared: it sounds good!

i'm kinda curious to see if you address the possibility that he could get canned for putting the moves on a new hire that works for him.

ed

 

[emap]

Eh if it's a small enough company he owns it and can't be fired. However there is the real possibility of legal troubles if she goes to the cops, boils down to a he said she said of course, doesn't look good for an arrest however leaves the window open for a lawsuit which would kill the companies sales.

We need more trout smacks by the way, a certain silverwhisper has been slacking lately and there's no such thing as to much trout smacking, or cowbells.

Now as for the phrase you want to put in, that's so very simple, he tells her that, probably right when he's putting it in, something generic like:
You looked like you needed a hot beef injection.
Or:
Are you ready for your hot beef injection?

Corny kinda dumb and cliched to death but if you put it off as a joke it gets a little bit of not bad and easily overlooked anyway.

 

[silverwhisper]

[trout-smacks emap]

you rang? :>

emap's got some very good points about a small company. one thought to consider, if this is an angle you want to explore, is that perhaps this is a roleplay of "nubile summer intern" and "lecherous boss", perhaps as part of a BDSM tale? that neatly sidesteps the legal question. to do this, you could start the story just as you have, so the reader is coming into this in media res, and it's part of a BDSM scene, which the reader later learns has no legal ramifications. indeed, in classic o. henry fashion, you could reveal that at the end.

just a thought.

ed

 

[ratherabsurd1]

.....

 

[nakdsub]

Absolutely...

Your writing skills are on par, the story sounds good...go for it.