Need Help

[FlowerPower1111]

Hello,

I am a married woman looking for help learning how to be sexier and talk dirty. I am a very open sexually, and yet have a hard time verbalizing and communicating about sex. Any help is appreciated!

 

[theeonanist]

It’s a good job your PMs are off. I suspect you’ll be inundated with offers of one-to-one help.

But for the audience here’s my 2c worth.

From my experience, the art of dirty talk is about letting yourself be in the moment and thinking about you and your partners pleasure rather than your embarrassment or self consciousness. Being in the moment means not having to think about the words. Those words will come if you just relax and say whatever is driving your lust, whether it’s about his/her physicality or your need to cum or whatever it is. Just say it.

Most of all remember to have fun while you’re exploring. No fun, nothing won.

 

[quietstone31]

Practice makes perfect

The more you try to talk dirty with open-minded people the easier it gets.

When I was younger I never imagined being able to talk dirty or do any other naughty thing. I was encouraged to try it by some partners over the years and it grew on me. Now I am a dom and have largely lost all inhibitions. When you start saying things out loud and see your partner respond it should empower you to do it more.

 

[Replicant2018]

Hello,

I am a married woman looking for help learning how to be sexier and talk dirty. I am a very open sexually, and yet have a hard time verbalizing and communicating about sex. Any help is appreciated!

Please turn on your PM. Would be glad to chat.

 

[KatieDoes]

Hello,

I am a married woman looking for help learning how to be sexier and talk dirty. I am a very open sexually, and yet have a hard time verbalizing and communicating about sex. Any help is appreciated!

RIP your inbox if you do open it….. you’re going to be inundated with ‘helpful’ men offering to let you practice by talking dirty to them while they jerk off.

Do you read a lot of stories here? If not, I’d recommend that. Try new genres that you don’t know for sure that you’re into. Figure out which things make you feel hot and which turn you off. Pay attention to the language and dialogue, the descriptions and phrases. I’ll bet you end up with a few things that work for you each time.

Also, men (or women, if that’s who you’re in bed with) almost always like to hear compliments. So practice with just being more verbal. Tell him/her that they feel good, and why. As you get more comfortable being verbal, some of the hot phrasing you’ve been reading might just feel natural to add.


Be genuine. You’re not going to feel natural saying things you don’t mean. So don’t try to force yourself to be some perfect sex kitten. Be you.

 

[theeonanist]

RIP your inbox if you do open it….. you’re going to be inundated with ‘helpful’ men offering to let you practice by talking dirty to them while they jerk off.

Do you read a lot of stories here? If not, I’d recommend that. Try new genres that you don’t know for sure that you’re into. Figure out which things make you feel hot and which turn you off. Pay attention to the language and dialogue, the descriptions and phrases. I’ll bet you end up with a few things that work for you each time.

Also, men (or women, if that’s who you’re in bed with) almost always like to hear compliments. So practice with just being more verbal. Tell him/her that they feel good, and why. As you get more comfortable being verbal, some of the hot phrasing you’ve been reading might just feel natural to add.


Be genuine. You’re not going to feel natural saying things you don’t mean. So don’t try to force yourself to be some perfect sex kitten. Be you.

What I was trying to say only much more detailed and eloquent than I could.

What turns me on the most is being told I’m really doing it for them. So if OPs hubby/wife has an ego as fragile as mine the compliment thing will really work

 

[Alostsoul]

Hi

As a once married man I can say that one of the best things my ex did was to moan when I "hit" the right spots, she would also arch back and slowly grind against me as I was deep in her. It may be awkward but just relax breath and have fun act natural and enjoy the act of sex the make out the build up and climax. Finally the thing that helped my was showing my ex what I liked and encouraging her to she me what she liked. As a guy I didn't think that women have different kinds of climax...anyways just hoping I help and most important have fun two ppl in love slowly exploring each other and knowing what pleasures their partner is the best sex.

 

[theeonanist]

Finally the thing that helped my was showing my ex what I liked and encouraging her to she me what she liked.

So true.

Back when I had a sex life and in the early phase of our relationship my wife and I would often masturbate mutually and also for each other separately. It’s whilst of course it’s one of the hottest things to do it’s also extremely educational. I learnt which particular spots she focused on at which points in her masturbation, how much pressure to apply and when, and when to speed up or pull back. Knowing that meant I could please her better than I did in my previous cackhanded attempts to bring her off. Likewise she learned how to stroke me, which part of my cock was the most sensitive and how and when to speed up and slow down.

We talked all through it too. She might say “now I’m wetter I’m going to push another finger in and I’ll push them into my front wall” or I might say long strokes from the tip to the base and now speed it up a little”.

It’s not particularly raunchy, it’s just communicating. Once you can talk at ease about sex you can start to have fun with the words you say, and how you say them.

I envy OP the journey she and her hubby/wife are taking.

 

[jsmiam]

Start gradually. I don’t mean in one session necessarily. Get comfy with each. Start simple, like “Yes, YESS”, “ right there”, “keep going”, etc.

Then on to “faster”, “harder”, etc.

Then onto “I like it when you … me” etc

Then question and answer. “do you like my …?”

Then at some point start throwing body part names specifically.

Then more descriptive. Wet parts, hard things, hot bodily fluids, where to put them.

Only then do you add in how you want him to sit back in the corner and watch you with that stud Jsmiam from the internet. ;-)

But yeah. You don’t need your PhD in dirty talk overnight. And you don’t have to make stuff (acts) up that aren’t really of interest to you. reality is sexier

Edit: oops, I forgot: somewhere in the step 5 or 6 range, if you feel jealousies won’t crop up, is telling or asking for stories about the time you/he did what/how with who where/when

 

[Thatdurtydawg]

Think about what will make your husband hot when you think about talking dirty to him.
Express your desire for your husband.
Something simple like "I love your hard cock inside me!" or "I love the way you fuck me!".
This ain't Shakespeare.
Think pure animal lust.

Make it all about your husband and making him feel both your passion and your desire for him.
As long as the subtext of your dirty talk makes your husband feel that you want him,
you will do fine.

 

[nekkid_handyman]

I agree with most of the comments above. For me, dirty talk tends to feel forced and unnatural when I try to initiate it. I find it so easy to put those naughty thoughts down on paper when the mood strikes, but in the moment I freeze up. There is always the fear that your partner will react badly to what you say, so it makes more sense to ease into it.
Everyone loves to know that they are doing a good job and that they are pleasing you, so just saying that can get the ball rolling. Once it does get rolling, you can feed off each other and let the dirty talk evolve organically. And, of course, getting ideas from the stories on this site will provide the inspiration to craft a super sexy phrase to get you both heated up.
Good luck to you and I hope that you are able to turn up the heat in the bedroom...or kitchen...or living room, etc.