Need Help everyone!

[JadeDragon]

I am a bi sexual women who is very much in love with her husband. My husband wishes to try a 4 some. I have been working very hard to build myself up for it. I just don't know if I can handle seeing him with another women. I am very jelouse type. I just don't want to loose him. I do want to make him happy any way I can though.
When I think about it, It feels like my heart is breaking at times. Unless I am stoned then its a turn on. I am so lost and confused. If anyone can tell me the best way to give him what he wants without loosing it. I would apreciate it. Or tell me about there first time doing this.

Thank you all

Jade

 

[jack73]

Problem Solving

Dear Jadedragon:
I understand your point...I know it is not easy. The first time I took a girlfriend into one of these situations (which I thought I could handle!), I had a problem. However, I discovered that it really was MY problem. She understood MY desire to be with other women, and accommodated me. Who was I to have a double standard? It was difficult...but I rose to the occasion (no pun intended!), got over my feelings, and moved on from there. It worked out in the end (boy, did we have a WONDERFUL time!...Great sex, and...well, that's for another time).
If you are to have the opportunity to meet your needs and desires, he should be able to do the same with your blessings. After all, he is not doing it secretly...he seeks your permission (if that's not sharing, and seeking to prevent conflict, I do not know what is). If your relationship is as strong as it appears to be (after all, he knows you are with women, and he has not yet shut you down, has he?), you will be okay.
Having said all that, I am also in your neck of the woods. Could we accommodate each other while your husband participates or watches? Just wondering...
Cheers, lady!
Jack

 

[JadeDragon]

Thank you

Jack,
Thank you for your advice I will take it heart. I do want to make this happen for him, I am working on it. But let me ask a question? This girlfriend you spoke of are you two still together? Did the good sex cause conficts? The usual thoughts, run threw my head, does he want her more then me, does he really give a shit about me or just here cuz he has to be due to responsibilitys, Is this going to be an all the time thing? Does he really love me? I don't sleep with other women when he is not around. He watches or particapates to a point. He does not sleep or touch the other women.
I am not trying to be rude or conflictive just wanna know is all.
I know I love him with all my heart, just not sure if he loves me. Wow that was way to personal. Thank you again Jack.


Jade

 

[Guest]

So, you're bisexual... Have you ever been with a woman before or is this just a fantasy for you right now?

I have been involved in the swinging lifestyle since I was 18. I was single when I was introduced to it, and I have to admit, I had trouble getting men I was seeing "exclusively" into it. I am a very open person sexually, but I tend to have a jealous streak to me as well. It was hard swinging when I was with a man I loved.

Let me suggest that if you honestly want to try this, start off slowly. There is a thing out there known as "soft swinging" which is typically girl/girl action (if the women are bi) and perhaps oral sex with the other couple. Don't jump into "full" swapping with another couple right now!!!

Before you even consider swinging, you need to talk with your husband. Tell him of your fantasies as well as your concerns. Be honest with him. Don't back down. And don't "settle" for anything you may feel uncomfortable with. If your husband would divorce you for NOT sleeping with other couples, there was a problem with this relationship in the first place.

Some things to think about...

Good luck.

 

[JadeDragon]

Re:

BlessedBe,

I have been with other women, and have shared that with my hubby. He watches or makes love to me while I make make love to her. We have done this twice, and each time I kind of felt guilty, like I was cheating on him or didnt pay enough attention to everyone. The only reason that I want to try this is because the man I love wants to.
I want to make him happy. I am satisfied with how things are now, but he wants to try more. You give a man a little and he wants to take a mile. ......... I find that more and more I really dont want to be with men at all, the only reason I dont blanch when I am with him is becuase I love him dearly. Thank you for your advice and I will talk with him again about how I feel.

Merry part till we merry meet again
Jade

 

[Weird Harold]

...don't "settle" for anything you may feel uncomfortable with.

I don't think this point can be stressed enough.