gotherella
Experienced
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2013
- Posts
- 45
need an editor for a short lesbian story please
hi I have finally decided to try one of my stories but as I have not published on here before I would really like someone to read it through and see what they think, I mainly write butch- femme lesbian stories and the one I want to submit is the first in a series of stone butch/femme stories but I have no idea if anyone would like my writing so I think I need an editor first to tell me if it is readable, its currently about 3300 words so not too long, so if you like your lesbianism with a hint of submission please could you help me out. i read it is good to put in a paragraph to give you a hint so here goes the first paragraph:
I looked away quickly so I did not get caught staring but when I saw her there propped against the bar I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, ok so I had had a couple of drinks but I had never before seen her like, 6’3 all dressed in black, long legs that angled out towards me and butch enough to make my mouth water, but the most eye catching part was the wolf coloured hair above the most striking amber eyes I have ever seen. I had to look away I knew someone like her would never look at anyone like me, for a start I am over a foot shorter than her, just a bit too heavy to be pin up sexy and very, very Goth, I do not know why but the long black hair and the layers of lace seem to scare off just a few, or maybe it’s the white painted face with the smoky eyes and black lips or the chipped black nail varnish, I only know that whatever it is not many try to chat to me but hey that’s the way I like it I prefer to sit in a dark corner and watch all that goes on , I find the interactions between people fascinating. Right then my attention was taken by an older lady with her little pet, so obvious from where I was sat, when the younger women slipped under the table I looked away.
hi I have finally decided to try one of my stories but as I have not published on here before I would really like someone to read it through and see what they think, I mainly write butch- femme lesbian stories and the one I want to submit is the first in a series of stone butch/femme stories but I have no idea if anyone would like my writing so I think I need an editor first to tell me if it is readable, its currently about 3300 words so not too long, so if you like your lesbianism with a hint of submission please could you help me out. i read it is good to put in a paragraph to give you a hint so here goes the first paragraph:
I looked away quickly so I did not get caught staring but when I saw her there propped against the bar I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks, ok so I had had a couple of drinks but I had never before seen her like, 6’3 all dressed in black, long legs that angled out towards me and butch enough to make my mouth water, but the most eye catching part was the wolf coloured hair above the most striking amber eyes I have ever seen. I had to look away I knew someone like her would never look at anyone like me, for a start I am over a foot shorter than her, just a bit too heavy to be pin up sexy and very, very Goth, I do not know why but the long black hair and the layers of lace seem to scare off just a few, or maybe it’s the white painted face with the smoky eyes and black lips or the chipped black nail varnish, I only know that whatever it is not many try to chat to me but hey that’s the way I like it I prefer to sit in a dark corner and watch all that goes on , I find the interactions between people fascinating. Right then my attention was taken by an older lady with her little pet, so obvious from where I was sat, when the younger women slipped under the table I looked away.
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