Need Advice :: Going to meet Internet buddy

[Seamen]

Not so much a buddy per se; I met this guy in a yahoo chat room - some four days ago. He seemed like a nice fella. Told me all about his family and job. He's a simple, down to earth, of average intelligence, lower middle class man of 35. He is married. He has had sex with only three guys as of now. All in all, he seemed to me to be an average, unremarkable man.

My reservations are these:

• Although his story is detailed, for all I know, it could be fake.
• He cringed when I told him that I wanted to cuddle and eat my own cum
• He didn't know what the word porn meant
• He send me a picture of him with his family
• He wanted us to drink before we fucked
• He was reluctant to the use of a condom, but hesitatingly consented

He has invited me to come to his house and spend the night. He would introduce me as his friend.

While I have had a very long dry spell, and I am very horny, I am still as yet in my senses, as it were. I really want to go, I believe every word he has said, but I still think there are loop holes here.

Where I am from, there are frequent incidents of entrapments and blackmail. I have as yet not sent him my picture, and have used a fake name and location.

His place is a 4 hours journey by bus, but he is insistent on my spending the night there.

I need sound, firm counsel here. I have had sex really with only one man as yet, and it was very private and safe. I have zero real world experience. Is it safe to meet someone who you encountered on the net 3 days ago?

Also, he could be a criminal or something. In which case, I shouldn't even chat with him on yahoo. What if it comes to haunt me some time later? I am very concerned here.

I need firm, solid counsel here. Right now, I have done nothing at all. He is just an Ignore button away. But once something is done, its done, you know. You can't erase it.

I'm due to go on Saturday. Should I?

 

[farscott]

My advice is to not ignore the warning signs. You sense trouble, so just let it go. I understand the urge to meet someone, but it must be tempered by common sense and personal safety.

 

[TrojanWhore]

If you are having doubts then don't go. If he really wants to meet you he will understand that you don't feel ready to yet. If you have concerns about going to his house you should ask if you can meet in a public place and then if you feel comfortable back to a hotel. Just be safe, and trust your instinct.

 

[ProfBoxers]

I was tempted, years ago, to meet someone I was chatting with on Yahoo. It would be a long drive, and he was married, being secretive. We had cammed, even done voice chat, but I didn't feel enough trust to go through with it.

When I finally told him no, he got upset and didn't speak to me again. That told me more than anything that I had made the right decision. If there is even a slight hesitation, don't do it.

 

[titerear71106]

My first sexual encounter came from a guy I met on yahoo personals. I had a great experience with him. Trust your feelings on this. If you get any warning signals or just feel a bad vibe from him don't do it. I have passed up several men just because I didn't feel right about them

 

[Natasha007]

hmmm

If it doesn't feel right then go with your gut and move on.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Wasn't it you, Seamen, who was grousing about how women complain they haven't been having sex, but they also wont accept the come-ons from all those random and perfectly nice guys?

You know how you feel right now? unsure and vulnerable, afraid that you're putting yourself into some strange man's power? Women feel like this all the time. Any man she doesn't know -- there's a chance of badness. This is what it feels like.

I dunno, maybe it wasn't you. But really-- join the ladies-who-worry-about-the-risk club.

And as everyone has said, if your gut is telling you 'no', best to listen.

 

[HornyTeenBoy]

My advice for any kind of meet-up like this would be to meet in a public place first. Since he lives so far away and seems to want to meet you at his house, that doesn't really sound like the best way to start things off.

There are some things in life where you've just got to take a risk and enjoy them. This is not one of those things. If you're not comfortable, you shouldn't be going through with it.

 

[Hitchiker69]

Too many red flags...don't go. I mean, on top of everything else, you'll be 4 hours from home without a car, and on his turf. That makes you very vulnerable. If he was willing to come to your place I might overlook the other factors.

Don't go. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Stay home, have a drink and a nice wank.

 

[dundeebi_guy]

As others have said, trust your instincts. Don't go.

 

[klippert]

Go with your instincts....If you have that reservation, then hold off...get more information...or just come out and tell him what you have told us...

 

[Seamen]

Wasn't it you, Seamen, who was grousing about how women complain they haven't been having sex, but they also wont accept the come-ons from all those random and perfectly nice guys?

Nope, probably wasn't me. Could be, though; I tend to be ambiguous sometimes.

I think I'm gonna skip this one. Once its done, its done, you know. I can't change it back then; so I'm gonna play it safe this time. Damn it

Yahoo! seems to agree with us here too :

Never meet with someone you encounter in a chat room unless you already know who they are.

 

[Chrissi]

Maybe there are cultural differences involved, but to me his story doesn't add up.

As others have said, trust your instincts, DON'T GO!

 

[Blue_Duck]

It probably would not be fun if you are not comfortable with the meeting. I was fortunate enough to meet a nice fellow from this forum. We exchanged emails and photos for a few months. We finally agreed to meet up to see what happened...we agreed there would be not be any pressure to do anyting. It turned out to be a great time, even though we were both nervous. I hope to meet him again for a repeat performance.

 

[Stella_Omega]

The general rule is:
first, meet for coffee someplace public.
Second, meet for coffee a second time, someplace public.
then you can start to think about meeting up in private.

 

[Chrissi]

The general rule is:
first, meet for coffee someplace public.
Second, meet for coffee a second time, someplace public.
then you can start to think about meeting up in private.

Stella, some of us are not that patient

But so true. With a new guy you just have to be comfortable, any pressure at all and red flags go up. In this case, the hookup is 4 hours away, I am not sure I would even travel that far for someone I knew and trusted, unless I had another reason for visiting...

 

[Seamen]

The general rule is:
first, meet for coffee someplace public.
Second, meet for coffee a second time, someplace public.
then you can start to think about meeting up in private.

Yes, that's what I think too; but he's out of state. And he knows it too.

I've decided to skip this one; better safe than sorry. Just gonna wait for my prince charming

 

[CandiCame]

Stella, some of us are not that patient

But so true. With a new guy you just have to be comfortable, any pressure at all and red flags go up. In this case, the hookup is 4 hours away, I am not sure I would even travel that far for someone I knew and trusted, unless I had another reason for visiting...

I was gonna say that. 4 hours for a fucking booty call? Fuck that.
I honestly don't trust the internet as a place to meet people. That alone sends up red flags to me. There's no way of knowing, there's a huge trust loophole, ect. I can't really add anything to this conversation except for one more vote AGAINST getting raped and murdered.

Plus, who doesn't know the word "porn"? That seems kinda... fishy...

 

[Seamen]

I was gonna say that. 4 hours for a fucking booty call? Fuck that.
I honestly don't trust the internet as a place to meet people.

Me too; but when one gets horny ... I guess deep down inside I knew I never would go .. plus, in some places the only way you can meet somebody is online. We are sexual minorities. In some places, minorities among minorities. And its not just about a booty call, you know. Sometimes people just get .. lonely, I guess. Sometimes people just want contact, you know, be of whatever kind it may.

Plus, who doesn't know the word "porn"? That seems kinda... fishy...

But what with his broken English, his slow wit in general, I just assumed at the time, well, that maybe he was that dumb. He asked me to come to his house the very first day we started talking. Either he wanted to screw me over, or he is that dumb and probably is going to get screwed over soon enough. Its better I don't get involved.